


Unrelenting Forces

by Enderman51



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, dragon - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Dragons, Dreams and Nightmares, Drunkenness, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fabulous fashions, Fade Kiss, Fade Spirits, Fade more.., Fluff and Angst, I can see the future, I saw it in the Fade, Jealousy, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, Mages and Templars, Modern Girl in Thedas, Mystery, Original Character(s), Out of Character, POV Alternating, Partner Betrayal, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Release of all kinds, Secrets, Sloooooow Burn, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Spirits, Spoilers, Tags Tags tags!!!!, The Fade, The Veil, Trust Issues, Violence, adopted family, aggressive solas, attempted suicide, fluffy fluff, not your average elf, smutty smut smut, stop in the name of love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2018-11-05 21:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 77,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11022138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enderman51/pseuds/Enderman51
Summary: heaven was just your average spy before the inevitable happened. Now she is stuck in Thedas with a mark that should not exist and a history that seem more tied to Thedas then the Egg himself.He leaned closer to me and waved the potion vial in my face “Left to your own devices, you put yourself in danger. You seem to lack the ability to make any decisions that do not put your life at risk.” he said harshly.Without thinking I raised my hand and slapped him across his cheek “You have some nerve Fen. Night after night I am terrorized by horrible things from my past. Things that no one should ever relive but yet I am forced to!” I yelled raising my hand to strike him again but he caught my wrist before I could land the blow.He stands from the bed pulling me to my feet “See you’re proving my point Isanami. Your uncontrollable power and indomitable focus might have you believing that you are invincible, unkillable thus making you incapable of thinking about your own well being.” - an intercept from Unrelenting Forces





	1. Dead But Not Done

**Author's Note:**

> First time ever posting my writings, so feel free to leave a comment so that i can improve. I really love to read, so i wrote this to read later hope you like it. Oh and thanks for even choosing to read this mess of a story. Credit for any Elvhen language used in this chapter goes to FenxShiral and their Project Elvhen work. Although for the rest of my story anything that is said in Elvhen will be in parenthesis and italics, while thoughts will be displayed in just italics. I'm sorry for being lazy like that :)

Drip…Drip…Drip…

The sound of viscous liquid dripping onto the floor echoed off the windowless stone walls of my musty cell. The chamber was small and bare save for two thing; The first was a large luminous green sphere that sent pulses of light and energy in waves through out the cell as it levitated lazily in front of the cells door, blocking it completely. The other thing was situated on the grimy floor in the middle of the cell, it was the source of the wet dripping noises that had filled the cell. I didn’t want to go near it, but I moved towards the middle of the chamber, hesitant to look upon the horror that was limp and motionless on the hard concrete floor. I stood in front of it, still unable to bring myself to look down at it. Looking at it would force me to accept the severity of my situation. I stood there looking at anything but what was in front me, as I prepared myself for what I was about to see.

Another wave of energy pulsed through the cell and I suddenly felt a faint tug on my entity towards the globe of light. I quickly glanced at it and noticed that it seemed be growing brighter and larger with every pulse. _ _Interesting.__ Steeling my resolve I heave a great sigh of defeat and lowered myself to the ground, deliberately bringing my eyes to level with my naked physical body.

Yeah… I was looking at my broken and bloody body which was now inert and lifelessly positioned on my knees in a pool of my own blood. If I still had a body I would have retched at the horrific sight before me, __but I didn’t have a body… because I was dead…__ Shoving that thought out of my mind I continued to study my face and body, taken aback by the sheer amount of damage that had been inflected upon my person. I looked even thinner in thinner in death without the luster life gives the living. My short blue hair was ragged and matted in blood from being torn out in patches by my torturers. My eyes were still wide open in fear and pain, one of my red contacts was still in place, in the mist of it all I hadn’t noticed the other had popped out. I looked from my contorted face to the rest of my destroyed body, eyeing the deep gashes along my arms and the fresh knife and burn wounds present all over my body. All of my piercings had been ripped out at some point and my lobes had been completely torn from the harsh removal of my gauges. Just the memory of the ordeal was painful and left me feeling raw. To be honest part of me was glade I died when I did, it had put an end to suffering that would have continued if I had not passed.

Even through all the blood I can see and remember clearly the damage that had been done to me, it had been a slow painful death. I shiver a little and wondered why I had kept fighting, using my pride and words as weapon and shield up until they had slit my throat. I knew my chances of getting alive was slim to non, I just… I guess I still had hopes that I could get myself out without dying or giving my assailants what they wanted.

I walked…no…more like floated around my body to get a better look at myself. I flicked my gaze about my exposed back admiring the abundance of tattoos that graced it. All of them had meaning but only two held my interest, the first was a sizable tattoo that occupied a large portion of my back, extending from the base of my neck to the small of my back. It was a depiction of a serpent with two heads one at each end of its body forming an infinite sign, the mouths of the serpent came to meeting with a circle between it two mouths. Around the bottom of the tattoo were nine different symbols one being something like a wolf with a sort of flame present in the middle of its head and another resembling a Celtic tree. It was more of a pale green branding then a tattoo and had been on my person since I could remember. There were what appeared to be words weaving elegantly around the serpent “Eolaselan’mah Pantheon” and “Rajelan Amelan Pantheon.” For the longest the strange tattoo perplexed my adoptive parents and I. It wasn’t till later in my life did I find out that the words were from a language that was entirely made up and to my complete shock the information had came to me from a video game. A game that ended up leaving me frightened by how the lore and history had ranged so familiar to me. Through out the game there was a feeling of déjà vu that was way to hard too shake, but it wasn’t just the strong feelings of familiarity that jarred me, but the memory like visions that began to plague me after I had played the games. Visions of war and destruction but not of my world. The brand like tattoo pulsed in time with the green ball as I felt yet another tug stronger then the last, ripping me from my thoughts.

I ignored the tugging sensation and looked to the top of my back where my favorite tattoo, my title that I stole from the same game rested. It laid across the top of my back shoulder to shoulder in larger interact black and red letters “Fen’Harel”. Seeing it in all its full glory without a mirror made me slightly happy and full of pride for a second. Not many people remembered the game so using the name as my title for work had been easy and even though most knew not what it meant it still struck fear in the hearts of my organizations enemies. Fear that we used in various ways.

I finished examining my back and continued to float around my still form coming to a stop in front myself once again. I freeze briefly as I feel another pull on my soul- _ _That’s what I am__ _ _right? Without__ _ _a body I am just a soul...__ The pulling sensation was more insistently tugging me harder in the direction of the eerie portal like light that had appeared just shortly after I had left my body. The waves of green light bathed everything in the cell in a sickly green tint, and with every pulse I can feel myself being pulled, and yeah it was freaking me out. I mean everyone says that when you die you see a white light, well I’m not seeing a white light I’m seeing green, which makes me suspect that the portal must have manifested to take me to hell.

Not wanting to acknowledge the possibility of going to hell, I look back down at my body and stare at my bruised and bloody face as I thought back on the last few days that had lead to my demise.

  


  


  


It had been a normal day, if you considered a mercenary/spy committing blackmail and espionage all in a days work normal. I had been sent to Texas by the organization to gather information on a woman and child prostitution ring operating out of Vegas. The guy I was sent to shake down for this information was a Texas Representative who had just announced his intentions to run for President in the coming election. The man was also having a secret affair with his male secretary, despite being married with kids, which I personalty couldn’t have cared less about. My company had no room for such discrimination, but having that secret in my arsenal had made my extraction of information that much easier.

When he realize what I was after he profusely denied his hand in the matter and refused to give me what I wanted, even going as far as to threaten me with his crooked connections. His denial wasn’t surprising, most of my targets almost always never willingly gave me what I came for, at least not with out some convincing. The moment I revealed what I knew about his little secret he turned a wonderful shad of magenta, a color that seem to only deepened as I explained what would happen if I were slip what I knew to the press along with the proof my company had gathered. That kind of information would cost him his position, destroy his marriage and tarnished his credibility due to his strong public stance against the LGBT community was just that, a political stance. With his secret in circulation his life would be ruined and his chances of winning the race to the White House would end before it even begin.

Don’t think I enjoyed the act of blackmail, I didn’t, but in my line of work it was sometimes necessary as with this case. The info he had was vary valuable, from my connections I knew he was strongly tied to the finical side of the prostitution ring and ultimately had the power to shut it down, if not directly at least indirectly. He caved once he saw just how much he could lose, they always caved in the in.

I left his posh downtown office shortly after I got him to hand write me a letter that would have the cops in Vegas shutting down the scene in no time. As an added bonus and with little persuasion needed I got the poor desperate man to write a nice sized check out to my company with a promise that his secret would stay a secret. With both the letter and check safely tucked inside my coat I had made my way to a small cafe that I frequently visited whenever I was in town. A foolish lack of judgment on my part, I know this now. Half way there I had a strong feeling that I was being watched and followed, but cocky me ignored the feeling and continued on my way. I mean what did I have to fear? Anyone in a place of actual power not to screw with me, in fear of catching my attention and having my company digging up skeletons that they wanted to stay buried. I had grown to powerful for my own good, I had gotten comfortable with the safety net others fear of me, had graced me with. I had thought myself invincible and beyond others reaches, I had believed my power was enough to ensure my safety, such false securities.

When I left the cafe it was a little after 8 pm, and I was running late for my next appointment, so I started heading to the hotel where the meeting was to be held. I was not even a full block away from cafe when a black sedan drove up next to the sidewalk and slowly followed beside me. I glanced around and immediately spotted three guys on the other side of the street looking dead at and were making their way across the road towards me. Without much thought I turned to run back to the cafe but there were two more men behind me. One of the men had his hand out to grab me but my years of training kicked had kicked in and within a matter of seconds the dude was on his back basically hugging his now mangled and useless arm. The other guys had finally made it to me and I knew I could not take them all on.

I was out number by far but I wasn’t going down without a fight. I whirled around and kicked out catching the face of one guy with the sole of my shoe knocking him unconscious instantly. I then dodged to the side as I narrowly avoided a wildly thrown punch from one of the other attackers. But I lost my balance on an uneven area of the sidewalk, I regained my my balance too slow. As I prepared myself to lunge at another guy I heard the sound of a silenced gun being fired from behind me and I felt the pain instantly in my side and shoulder. I tried to ignore it but the pain made me sluggish and too slow to respond when one of the men raised his fist and connected a heavy blow to my nose. I crumpled immediately and blacked out before I hit the ground.    

When I came to, my arms were bound above my head tied to a hook in the ceiling of the room…cell. Three days… three days they tortured me, starved me demanding information only two other people in the world new I possessed, information that I did not want to give. And I didn’t give it up, the information would have been used to kill hundreds of innocent people who had done nothing wrong, other then worshiped a different god in the wrong place at the wrong time. For the most part I didn’t beg and I tried my hardest not to cry as they continued night and day with their assault. At times I would goad them and insult there tactics just to distract myself from the pain, it pissed them off greatly. In the end I did beg, I begged not for my life but for the name or title of the one who had betrayed me, something they denied me up until the very end , when they had realized I was not going to crack.

With a blade to my throat my killer whispered “The Dovakin sends his apologies to you Fen’Harel.”

I stiffened not from the pain of the knife at my neck but at the title that he had given me. I couldn’t believe it and part of me still refuse to accept it. The Dovakin of my organization had been my lover and close friend, why would he need to betray me? All he had to do was ask and my love for him would have compelled me to spill my knowledge, I loved him that much. We created the organization to change the world for the better, only using what we gained to help those in need, there were no secrets between us…at least not on my side of the relationship. The questions bubbled in my mind but they died when I did.

  


  


  


I feel yet another tug on me, this one stronger then the previous ones, actually dragging me a few feet towards the green light. I could feel that the next tug might actually suck me into it. So with one last look down at my body, a long look to memorize my face, I turned towards the green and floated to it. Standing next to it I can feel that the pull was almost impossible to resist, but I am afraid to pass through. I have never been one to fear death itself but I was terrified of what came after, fearful of what might be on the other side.

I don’t have to be a genius to know that I had not lead the kind of life that could get you into the gates of Heaven. I would be a fool to believe my good deeds would be enough to carry me through. No matter how good my deeds ended up being , the way I achieved them would have made the devil himself proud.

__Well I cant stay here and hunt this cell forever…_ _

With a wistful sigh I take one last look at my broken body and the cell around it, then faced the green light.

  


  


  


The moment I float through the green portal I can feel the diffidence before I see it. The atmosphere is almost tangible and…slimy? Like its thick, heavy and… I don’t know how to describe the sensation, it just feels really…eww. I take a glimpse around myself and am shocked… Ok maybe not that shocked. I mean hell is hell but there were no legendary unending lakes of flames nor was there any torture happening instead I seemed to be in a wasteland. Its all greens and blacks, and many of the structures that may have once existed seemed to have crumbled long age leaving shapeless ruins in their stead. I looked up at the sky and notice that there are massive rocks and boulders floating in the air, not only are they defying gravity but some are so huge that there are buildings built on top of them. Looking farther then the immediate sky above me I spot an enormous floating mass in the far distance that seemed to hold an entire city. I am in awe, like really, if this is hell then I am envious of what Heaven must look like.

I looked down at myself and was pleasingly shocked to see that I had something that resembled a body, only it was see through and shining in bright white. I moved my arms and shudder at the sensation. It felt like I was moving through water against the tide.

Did I mention how slimy this place feels? The air is so thick that when I looked up from my body I could actually see it in the form of a heavy green fog on the horizon of a large but completely still body of water. I float a little towards the murky green ocean and stare into the horizon catching fleeting glimpses of thick air here and there.

 _ _Why does it feel like I’ve been here before?__  I think to myself. I don’t remember ever visiting hell, but the feeling of having been here before is unnerving. A ripple in the calm waters catch my eye pulling me from my thoughts. I stand still and watch as the ripples become more and more violent, until I am quite sure something might emerge from the depths of the water.

Taking a step away from the waters edge I look around me and am caught off guard by the presence of souls… spirits? I’m not really sure but they were all floating towards the water with half formed ethereal body's like mine except each emitted a different colored light but I seemed to be the only one that was white. Some where floating in groups and seemed to be conversing among themselves, others were observing the large ripples in the water with obvious excitement. All appeared to be occupied except for one, a pale green one in the form of a woman, who happen to be watching me rather closely. Even after I had caught its eyes with mine it continued to blatantly stare at me as it began to float my way.  

Wanting to get away from my green admire I float through the crowd away from the disturbed waters. Not knowing where to go I just set off in a random direction taking in my surroundings. The scenery changed every now and then from shapeless ruins to more identifiable structures and buildings all with the same green tint to them.

I had been floating around for what felt like hours when I realized something was silently following me. I turn around to see that the pale green female was standing behind me.

“Look I don’t know who or what you are, but you are being rude staring at me and following me like this.” I say almost going silent at the sound of my voice, which echoed in an airy and light way. The Green intruder stays silent and floats closer to me, and I back away a few feet.

“I apologize if I have offended you ma’falon. But I wanted to ask if you know who you are?” it asked in the same kind of light echoing voice, its glowing green form flickering with every word. I was taken aback by the oddness of the question, she didn’t ask me who I was but if I knew who I was. If it wasn’t looking at me so intensely I would not have answered such a question.

“My name is Heaven. Who are you, and why are you following me?” The green one bobbed in the air quietly for a few seconds before speaking again.

“You may have been Heaven, but weren’t previously and you are not once more. I on the other have always been known as Wisdom.” Wisdom’s light flickered but I didn’t notice this time due to the reality of its words rubbing me the wrong way.  _What the fuck did she just say?_

I looked around us and then up at the sky, before looking back at Wisdom taking in her features. Her hair was mid length and wavy, and though her features were hard to make out I could see her small noble nose and the curve of her lips, but it was her ears that confirmed my suspicions. They were not like mine had been, they were long and pointed at the tips…

I float backwards slowly as I feel the shock take over, unable and not completely willing to believe what I was seeing, what I had heard. Trying to stay calm and not wanting to panic prematurely I questioned Wisdom, knowing the answer already.

“Pray tell me where am I?”

“You are in the fade Da’len.” she flickered a reply without hesitation. I could feel myself shaking my head rigorously in denial.

 _ _No, no it cant be. I cant be.. this can not be real. How did I get here? Why am I here. Oh God whats happening?!__  I think to myself as my mind runs through all I had seen since I had arrived. But even as reluctant as I was to believe I was in the Fade the evidence was all too damning.

“I’m in the fade which means I’m in…Thedas?” I ask slowly more to myself then to the spirit but she nodded her head in response anyways.  _Holy shit, I’m in a fucking video game!!_  I think almost rejecting the possibility. Why was I here? Did everyone from Earth go to the fade in death? Am I to be in the Fade forever, was this my personal hell? Too many questions danced in my head but something about what Wisdom said...  
”You said that I'm no longer me, what did you mean by that?”

“You are still yourself, but you were never truly Heaven. You are currently missing parts of yourself, and once you become whole all will be reveled.” Wisdom began to float away in a difference direction as it spoke so I followed her.

“Long ago I was asked to watch over you and observe your journey on earth, therefore I know all you have seen and experienced. Only you know what is to come in the near future for Thedas and only you have the power to fix it.”

I stopped following and just stood still “Why were you asked to watch over me? Who asked you to do it? And why me of all the people from my world?”

Wisdom came to a stop turning to face me while shaking her head at my questions. “I was given the task because you are not from the world you call Earth but was sent there for reasons only know by the ones that sent you there. I was to watch over you so that I could guide you when you returned. Now da’len, we must keep moving there is so much I must tell you but so little time.” without waiting for my response she turned and continued on her way.

I followed silently as I retreated into my thoughts. Wisdom had given me a lot to think on. I was confused and it was frustrating, I was dead, what could I possibly do to help Thedas? I had been to or was from Thedas but had no recollection of such an event. She was right about me knowing what was to come, but as f0or me having the power to fix it, I wasn’t as sure as she was.

As we floated through the fade in silence we passed up many other spirits and what I would guess were demons. Every now and then the scenery of the Fade would abruptly change and we would pass through whole towns that may have been impressions of actual locations from the other side of the Veil. The towns were filled with both spirits and demons though they seemed to avoid each other but when we passed them they would stop and stare at us. Their stares were unnerving and made me uncomfortable.

“Why are they staring at us like that?” I whispered as I moved closer to Wisdom.

“Your arrival was felt by all in the fade, they are curious about you. We all feel your presence it is something that calls to both spirits and demons. It will also be felt by powerful dreamers that visit the fade in their sleep.” the spirit answered without stopping. I ignored the looks after that and focused on the ever changing locations of the Fade. After what could have been hours of floating through the Fade Wisdom came to a stop.

I looked about our surrounding and saw that we stood before a large structure that sat upon a snowy plateau. The building stood proud in front of a huge mountain ridge that towered over it. There was also the largest gathering of spirits I had yet seen floating about the area. I know I had seen this place before but wanted confirmation.

 “Where are we?” I finally asked after taking in full stock my current location.

“This is the Temple Of Sacred Ashes, it is where you will need to be for the next step of you journey. But for now I well explain what you will need to do to become whole again. Come closer Da’lin.” she motioned at me to come near and reached out both her ethereal hands towards me. I hesitantly floated forward and she placed her hands on ether side of my head. Instantly my sight blurred and visions of the game played out before my eyes the scene of Corypheus at the conclave seemed to be the focus.

After the scene played a second time my sight returned and wisdom floated back a few steps, removing her hands from my head.

“When that time comes you must not hesitate, you must grab the orb at the same time as the future Herald. Only then will you become whole.” she informed me.

“But I’m in the fade, how would I be able to grab the orb in time with the Herald?” I shook my head at the impossibility of what she was telling me to do.

“You are aware of the spirit of compassion who roams freely in Thedas in a form he manifested for himself? This will be similar only you will not be creating a new form, your soul will call forth your original form. Coming into contact with the orb will solidify you body and allow you to live as you once was.” I nodded at her mention of Cole, kind of understanding her meaning.

“How do I leave the fade? Don’t I have to be summoned to be able to cross the Veil?”

“That only pertains to spirits, you are a soul separate from its vessel. You may cross over to the other side at any time. But once you leave the Fade you won’t be able to get back to this side. As for how to leave, all you must do is press yourself through the Veil.” I looked up at the Fade version of the temple letting her words sink in. The spirit bobbed in the air with her response and waited patiently for me to come to terms with what was to be done.

__Why am I hesitating? This will give me the chance to live again. So what if it will come with its own burdens. So what if I don’t entirely understand what was going on. Besides if I don’t go and the inquisition fails I will have that on my chest for the rest of my eternity in the Fade._ _

I take in a deep breath, “Ok tell me what I must do. How long do I have, before it starts.” I say in resignation.

The spirit nodded its head then turned away from me heading towards the temple as it spoke. “The gathering at the Conclave has already started. The official start of the meeting will began at mid morning tomorrow. You must wait inside the Temple and position your self as close to the orb as you can with out catching the tainted Magister’s attention. I Would suggest that you cross the Veil early in the morning at first light. That way the disturbance in the veil from your exit is felt by as few as possible. Keep to the shadows and keep yourself invisible at all time. Until then you should familiarize yourself with the layout of the temple.” When she finished speaking she came to a stop once again, this time in front of the large arching entrance of the temple before turning to face me.

“Da’lin you are about to embark on a mission to save this world from falling into total chaos. It will be a long hard road ahead of you but you must guide this Harold in the right direction. I’ve no doubt that once you become whole again you will understand your role in this much better. I ask that you call upon me regularly when you visit the fade, I am here to help you with your burdens.” Something in the way she said it made me feel as if she was about to leave me there. But I had a gnawing question that needed to be answered.

“Wisdom before you go, what do I do about Fen’Harel? He will most likely kill me on the spot if he thinks I know too much. How will I help without letting on that I know everything? He is your friend after all, how do I handle him?” The spirit tilted her head as if listening to something I could not hear before she responded.

“When you become whole you will know how to deal with him. It will come to you as all your missing pieces fall into place. But I suspect you will be encountering him sooner then that. As I have said your presence is felt throughout the whole of the fade, no doubt he feels it also. And now that you have summoned him in his own realm he may be here shortly. Heed my advice Da’lin do not fight him but also do not give give him too much of your knowledge of the future events to come. If you do it may change the fate of Thedas in a way your knowledge will be useless. I must go before he arrives to avoid the rise of suspicion. You must be strong Da’lin no need to falter in your steps, you will not be alone.” Before I could object the spirit just disappeared and I was left alone with more questions then answers.

I look around for her but I knew she was gone. Turning towards the entrance of the temple I take her suggestion and float through the arch way of the Temple Of Sacred ashes.

 

  


  


 The ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes as a whole had only been present in Dragon Age Origins and had been over run with cultist. But the fully restored version only made a brief appearance in Dragon Age Inquisition’s start screen and was promptly destroyed in that same scene. So it was no surprise that the short glimpses of the temple had not prepared me for the full grander of the temple. The enormous Temple consisted of of four beautiful constructed buildings that encircled an open courtyard that housed a fountain and several sitting benches. Standing guard at the entrance of each building were statues of Andraste that stood proud and imposing.  

When I floated into the main hall of the temple I saw that though the temple was built completely out of stone it had an air of elegance about it. From its large Arching entrance ways to the numerous statues of the prophet Andraste and her followers that stood in attention around the huge main hall. The windows at the back of the hall provided brilliant green light through the red and white chantry style curtains that were draped decoratively around the hall. There was a large mural on the left wall of the entrance, that depicted the fearless leader of the exalted march standing on a cliff above her army with her hand reaching out towards her maker. The mural came to an end at the entry way of a hall that lead to some smaller rooms, which followed the same decor fashion as the main hall with the exception of the murals which differed from the main hall’s.

I don’t know how long I had roamed the halls of the temple but after awhile I started hearing the sound of people speaking in faint whispers, that was not of the spirits that were present through out the temple. The sound seemed to be everywhere in and around the temple but was without a physical source. It had started as an unidentifiable buzzing before it became persistent and more clearer. Unable to find the source of the talking, I found myself focusing on it. Within seconds the source of the sound appeared in the form of phantom like apparitions of people all around me. The sight was startling until it donned on me that I was watching what was happening at the conclave in real time through the Veil.

The scene of the conclave was a somber one, with the tension between the templars and mages saturating the air. Even though the mages and templars were at the gathering to reach an agreement, they seemed to be going out of their way to avoid one another. The templars had taken to standing silently against a wall in a large group while actively sneering and glaring at the mages. The mages on the other hand were roaming the halls of the temple and engaging in quiet conversations among themselves. The chantry sisters that were present had situated themselves around the main hall in small groups. Some where kneeling at the feet of Andraste’s statues praying while others had taken it upon themselves to keep the more violent templars and mages at bay.

As I observed the interactions of the gathering a fight had broke out between a elven circle mage and a templar that had been calling out insults as mages passed him. I watched as the templar drew his sword while calling the mage a “filthy knife eared abomination” before attempting to smite the poor mage. The mage threw up a barrier  but before she could cast another spell a chantry sister ran between the two as another sister grabbed onto the templar and successfully pulled him away from the scene. The mages nearer to the elven mage moved to console her as the remaining chantry sisters reminded the gathering crowds why they were there.

 I was entranced with the scene and had let my guard down, when I herd the sound of rustling fabric behind me. Part of me went into high alert noting that the sound was not made by a spirit, but I ignored it and continued to watch the events of the conclave unfold. I didn’t pay the sounds any mind until till there was a sound of someone clearing their throat directly behind me. Pissed someone was interrupting me from my observation I turned to give the intruder and earful, but stopped short with my words caught in my throat. Standing behind me with blatant curiosity dancing on his defined features stood non other then Fen’Harel himself.

 


	2. Conversations and Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter But they can't all be 6000 words. Am i right? :) Anyways enjoy

    For the longest moment I couldn’t bring my self to speak. It was as if all the things I wanted to say as a fan girl would have been out of term or even a little inappropriate. Maybe it was because his very presence was so intimidating, like he was taking up more space then he physically needed, or perhaps it was just, how damn good looking he was in person.  
The game had gotten everything right, his face was noble and all angles, with high cheek bones graced with a light sprinkle of freckles. He had a jaw line that was dangerously sharp and came to a point at a neatly dimpled chin just under very full and plush set of lips. His eyes were a cool gray with flecks of blue scattered through out his irises, but there was something more in the depths… Like hidden wisdom that accompanied an intensity that had been unsuccessfully replicated in the game.  
    The air around him seemed to be electrically charged and his intense gaze felt heavy as he looked upon me. I fidgeted under his eyes and adverted my own as I had been rudely studying his features. Kicking myself for my lack of brain activity I began to say the first thing that came to mind but he beat me to the punch and spoke first.  
“What manner of Spirit might you be?” he asked, his velvet smooth voice reverberating loudly in the silent emptiness of the Fade.  
    I hesitated to answer, the game never really gave an in depth explanation on the different natures of the spirits of the Fade. Lacking the correct information I would need to give a convincing answer, I panicked.  
_Did the nature of spirits affect the color of their forms? I know that Justice was a cream color, Wisdom a green, Command was red, Faith a pale yellow._  I racked my brain, listing off all the spirits I encountered in the game, still unable to answer his question with any confidence. How do I successfully lie about being a spirit, to the one who created the Veil, the man who spent several hundred years dreaming in the fade? I already knew the answer, it was fairly simple, just tell him the truth, or at least some semblance of the truth.  
_If you go about this the right way you might be able to use this encounter at a later time to your advantage._  The spy in me thought, and I agreed with myself, so I simply said “I’m not a Spirit.” His reaction was not one I was expecting. Almost instantly he had taken a step back away from me and the curiosity that had been present on his face earlier quickly changed to something akin to confusion before swiftly switching to the mask that I had grown accustom to in the game.  
    “I see… but how come…what are you then?” he asked as he began circling me slowly in a studious manner.  
    “A spirit told me that I was a soul that had been separated from its original body” I answered truthfully spinning around to keep him in view. He stayed silent in his circling not acknowledging my response so I continued on.  
    “I died in my world, and passed through what I thought was a portal to the after life.” He abruptly halted our dance and tilted his head to the side as if pondering my words.  
    “Your world you say?” he said finally breaking his silence. I froze at his words and reran what I had said in my mind. Shit! Did I give away too much? Was I being to open? Before I could answer he spoke again as he began to pace in front of me.  
    “You claim to not be a spirit and that you are not from this world. All sounds rather far fetched. Yet I am inclined to believe you. Though I do have questions about your world. Is it like this world, are there any similarity's between them?” I eyed him suspicious of the ease in which he had accepted my words.  
    “Wait, you believe me? Why?”I asked ignoring his questions.  
    “Why wouldn’t I? What would you have to gain from lying about you origins? I felt your presence so abruptly, one moment it did not exist the next a sudden pulse traveled through out the fade announcing your arrival. And now here you are, you who shines brighter then all others in the Fade. I admit I have never come across anything such as yourself in all the years I have wondered this realm. Though I am quite curious as to why you, something not from this world, would summon the Dread Wolf just hours after it’s arrival?”  
I flinched at his calling me an “it” and a “something”. I knew from the game just how he felt towards the spirits of the Fade. He respected them and treated them with a kindness he never showed towards the living. But some reason he did not feel the need to extend that kindness and respect to me.  
I ignored his rash choice of words and decided to move away from him and towards the dungeons of the temple. Of course I didn’t need to look back to know he was following me. Instead I tried to think of what I was going to say next, I needed to play my cards right. If I tell too little I wont be able to use him for my plan later, tell him too much… well I knew what he was capable of in the fade. I mean look at what he did to Fellassan, and that was a devote follower of his. I don’t know if he could kill me in this ethereal form, but I was not willing to make him suspicious enough to try.                                                                                                                                                                     When we arrived to the stone archway entrance of the dungeon , where I was to exit the fade, I stopped and turned to face him.  
    “In my world we don’t have magic, or spirits or a Fade for that matter. We don’t have dragons, or two moons in the night sky, although we do have a sun. I summoned you by accident, but I do know of you. I know about this world and its history from books and other sources, that are available in my world. Thought these books were there as a source of entertainment and are presented as fiction.” I don’t tell him about the game, I didn’t think he would understand the concept. I also kept to myself that the games showed us what was to happen to Thedas, the less he knew about that the safer I was.  
He was once again silent and seemed to be deep in thought, with an elegant wave of his hand he manifested an ornate onyx bench behind him. He sat and gestured for me to follow suit.  
    “May I ask, what your name was in this other world of yours.” he asked after I situated myself beside him on the bench.  
    “My name is Heaven, its the place where my people believed the good, or those without sin, went after death.” I explain, unsure if the people of Thedas believed in Heaven or Hell. Was the Makers bosom, considered Heaven?  
    “That is a unique name. Now tell me Heaven, are there Elvhen present in your world?” he questioned without skipping a beat, his face completely blank. I had a nagging suspicion that he was steering this conversation, to something specific. I knew he was obsessed with the elves of old, but why did he just asked about elves, why not any of the other races that inhabited Thedas?  
    “No. My world only has Humans,” I answer in short. At that a small knowing quirk slowly crept across his lips. From his expression I could tell he was about to get the point.  
    “Ah I see, Now Explain to me why your souls form is that of the Elvhen people, when you claim that only humans inhabit your world? Or how it is that you speak elven so fluently, that you have yet noticed that I have switched from common? Do all the humans in your world speak elven?” as he spoke he raised a hand and pushed strands of ethereal hair to the side revealing my ears. I flinch away from his touch, I didn’t know I could be touched.  
Swatting his hand aside, my hands unconsciously flew to my ears. I tentatively ran my fingers along the ridges and sure enough I felt my ear did in fact come to the tell tell point of elven ears. I let out a small gasp of surprise and inspected them further. I could feel piercing that I had not had in my world, but was a little happy to find I still possessed my gauges though they felt larger then I remembered them to be.  
He had been watching me closely and had witness my complete surprise.  
    “I see you didn’t know. You continue to perplex me Heaven.” he said, his cocky smile disappearing from his lips. I continue to run my fingers up and down the length of my ears, as I slip into my thoughts.  
_How can I be speaking a language that didn’t even exist on earth save the few books and games it was created for? I am fluent in 5 different tongues due to the nature of my occupation, but non of them sounded even close to the elven language from the game. What does he think of this?_  The questions reeled around in my head.  
    “You say we are speaking Elvhen? How can that be? How can I be speaking a language without knowing I’m doing so?” I ask out loud absentmindedly.  
    I am distracted from from my thoughts when I feel a disturbance in the Fade around me. I look towards Fen’Harel, he is looking far off deep in thought himself, as he absentmindedly plays with ice, that is dancing around the tips of his fingers. I watched entranced as I observed the Fade going into him and coming out in the form of the ice. Little tendrils of green weaving itself through the magic, sustaining it.  
I fidget on the bench and make a coughing sound to get his attention. He snaps his head in my direction as the ice disappears, his face is unreadable when he finally speaks.  
    “Forgive me I was deep in thought. Yes to your question, we are speaking the language of my people. As to how you you can speak and understand Elvhen is beyond me. I will look in to this at a later time but all of this will have to wait, first light is upon us. I will be back to continue this discussion tonight when I come find you.” he said as he rose to his feet from the bench.  
    “What are you plans for the day, if I may ask?” I knew it wasn’t any of my business, but I found myself curious about what the Dread Wolf did in the time before the breach.  
    “I will be observing the events of the conclave, as you seem to have been doing when I arrived. It is time I wake up.”  
    “Wait!” I say standing up and grabbing his hand before I could stop myself. He froze and raised an eyebrow in question.  
    “Don’t go to the conclave, it’s dangerous.” He looked at me in surprise and began to speak, but I cut him off.  
    “Something bad is going to happen and if you go, you might get hurt or worse , die.” He looked down at my hand on his and smirked. I hurriedly removed my hand.  
    “Whats going to happen at the conclave? Why shouldn’t I go?”  
    I shake my head “I can’t say, I just…I just know something bad is going to happen. I have a feeling. Promise me you wont go. Promise me.” I demanded.  
His features slide from surprised to cocky once again. “What do I get out of not going to the conclave? If I promise not to go, what will you give me in return?” He purred silkily.  
I gaped at him in disbelief, I mean I was trying to warn him, to save his life.I didn’t know how to deal with him like this. He seemed so cocky and full of himself, in complete contrast to the humble hobo, the game portrayed him as.  
“Fine. If you don’t go, and I will know if you do, Ill tell you a secret. And I guarantee it will be a secret worth hearing.” I say as I turn away and floated through he entrance of the dungeon. This time he didn’t follow, but I heard his answer and knew I owed the Dread Wolf one juicy secret the next time we met.

 

 

    I waited a few minuets, until I knew for sure he was gone. As I waited, I thought about back through what I had talked about with Fen’Harel. I know what your thinking, Heaven why didn’t you just tell him everything? You could have prevented everything. Your right, I could have came clean and told him everything but that was exactly what Wisdom told me not to do. And would he have even believed me? Beside if he did end up believing me, and went to confront Corypheus on his own and would have promptly got his ass beat. I mean he was too weak to open his own orb, how would he fair against someone who was strong enough to open it.  
On the other hand what if the Breach happening was an unavoidable event in the time line of Thedas, telling Fen’Harel would only cause the breach to happen in a later time. A time where all I knew would then be useless. Also I may be a tad bit selfish, Wisdom said that I had to come in contact with the orb in order to be restored to my former self. So I figured the orb had to be activated, and well Fen’Harel wasn’t strong enough for that to happen.  
I don’t dwell on these thoughts, instead I focus on the Veil. Instantly the scene in the dungeon of the temple materialized before my eyes. When the scene came to I could see that the Gray Wardens were already gathered, and ti my complete shock the Wardens already had the Most Holy restrained and kneeling on the stone floor in the middle of the dungeon. She wasn’t screaming or raising any alarm, instead she seemed to be quietly praying to herself. I looked around at the Gray Wardens that were present but I didn’t recognize any of them. I looked closer to the one nearest to me and the door thinking I would see some telltale signs of possession, but I didn’t know what I was looking for.  
    The atmosphere in the room was one of anticipation and was almost tangible. I cast my gaze back to The Divine. Her hat was askew upon her head and her gown was soiled with the filth of the floor. The Warden closest to her seemed to be the only non-mage in attendance, had his sword tip pressed up against the older woman's back and had an expression of fear that was not present on his comrade’s faces. I waited and watched the event unfold as I moved closer to the door that I knew the future herald would enter from. The scene stayed the same until a new Gray Warden arrived from the open archway of the dungeon’s other entrance.  
    “Okay people you know what we need to do. Get her up and untie her.”The others did what they were told with the blankest of faces.  
They untied the Most Holy, who stood up and made like she was going to make a run for the door nearest to me. But before she could move more than two feet the Wardens all raised a hand and started to channel their magic into her, tendrils of red keeping her rooted in place.  
_Oh Shit. It’s about to go down…_ I think to myself as I raise my own hands and pressed them against the Veil. The Veil rippled at my touch and distorted the image briefly before returning to stillness once more. As I was distracted with the Veil, I didn’t notice the arrival of Corypheus himself coming through the same entrance the other Gray Warden entered the dungeon from.  
    “Now is the hour of our victory.” Corypheus’ deep voice rang throughout the dungeon echoing in my ear. I snapped my head up to look around for the grotesquely deformed darkspawn magister. He was impossibly tall and his presence was accompanied by a sinister feel that seemed to creep up my spine. Looking at him I couldn’t shake the feel that his very existence was just wrong. His body seemed to consist of molten flesh that looked as if it was painfully stretched over bones that were too big and long. The red lyrium that was jutting out of him pulsed and was giving of a soft hum that itched my ears. He was now standing in front of the Most Holy with the orb outstretched in front of him.  
    “Keep the sacrifice still.” He said as he activated the orb which glowed a striking green. The air in the Fade around me began to vibrate with the disturbance that the orb seemed to be causing. I felt a slight familiar pulling on myself as the Fade rushed to supply the orbs magic. I tensed sensing the time was near, and I readied myself for the right moment.  
    “Someone help me.” The Most Holy cried out as the magic from the orb began to engulf her in a bright green and yellow light. There was a slight pause and then the door next to me flew open. At that moment everything seemed to happen in slow motion, Corypheus turned to the human. Using this distraction I pushed my hands to the Veil, and felt myself easily slipped through. The sensation was one that I could not easily describe it was instant and I can feel myself solidify almost at once.  
    “What’s going on here.” The future herald yelled out. As my body completed its materialization, Corypheus looked at the man then at me, his features contorted into something of anger and…awe?  
_Oh shit he saw me come out of the Fade_  
    “We have intruders, slay the human and seize that elf.” he commanded his Gray Wardens. They moved towards us in unison, without hesitation to fulfill Corypheus’s, command almost like robots. He was distracted and the Revered Mother saw this. With what may have been her last actions she swung her arm out and knocked the orb out of Corypheus’ taloned hand. The orb dropped to the floor and rolled towards me and the human who I expect to be Trevelyan. As the orb reached us I saw Trevelyan reach for it. Timing my actions with his, the orb came into contact with both of our outstretched hands.  
The pain was an intense searing sensation surging from my palm up my arm. I tried to yank my hand away and saw Trevelyan trying to do the same but was met with resistance. I let out a scream as I feel the power of the orb surging up my arm and through my enter being. The power felt like it was ripping my newly formed body up from the inside with a white hot dagger. In the background I could hear Corypheus screaming “No!” and I knew he was approaching us. But he didn’t even get close before the orb let loose a small pulse of power that exploded outward and with a bright flash of white light everything went dark for me.

 

    I tried to open my eyes, I tried to bring myself to full consciousness. But I felt weak and drained, my body didn’t obey me when I tried to will myself to wake up, to move. My whole body felt as if it were on fire and my inside molten, the pain was too much I felt myself slipping. I could hear movement near me, I knew I was physically in the Fade, and I knew I had to move fast to escape, but the darkness was surrounding me and closing in fast.  
Something no, someone was shaking me yelling at me to wake up.”Wake up. Maker please wake up. We can’t stay here. We must move. We have to get out of here!” A male voiced yelled echoing into the fade as the person attempted to shake me awake.  
    “She still yet lives. Pick her up. You must hurry!” I hear a woman with an airy voice say. I feel myself being lifted up and tossed over the man’s shoulder.  
    “Maker why is she naked?!” Is the last thing I hear before I lose consciousness and all went silent and dark.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Maker why is she naked?" *snicker*


	3. There Is No Honor Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me here it will all make sense in the end :). Also an early chapter, I could not stop typing.  
> Memories thoughts and dreams are in italics  
> conversations in Elven are in italics with quotation marks  
> Enjoy

_Mythal’s summer palace sat nestled in the middle of the higher ranked nobles plaza’s and villas at the top tier of Arlathan’s capital. It gleamed and glistened in the sun casting a large shadow over the tiers below. The palace was among the many that had been gifted to Mythal by her mate Elgar’nan, but the goddess favored it the most and with good reason. It was built completely out of a blue vitriol and dragon bone with serault infused glass_   _for the multitude of windows that peppered the many towers. There was gold plate on the tips of the towers and on the massive door that was the grand entrance._

_The inside of the palace was just as magnificent and was not to be ignored in all it’s grander. With the bolstering twenty-six in suite bedrooms all with their own sitting rooms, the palace also provided four library's, two formal dining rooms ,one grand ball room, five living room like areas, one underground lab, and seven gardens and that's not counting the underground catacombs. The All Mother decorated this enormous domain of hers with gold’s and white’s everywhere there was room, from the royal sea silk drapes trimmed with gold to the dragon bone and gold tiled mosaics that made up the many hallway floors. There is countless amounts of painting and sculpture’s that dotted the many rooms along with innumerable amounts of of murals painted on the ceilings, and the furniture was crafted only from the finest materials. There was no such thing as bored eyes as there was always something new to look at due to Mythal constantly adding new furnishings or paintings._

_Despite all this grander and finery I was too nervous to enjoy my surroundings. It was the Harvest ball that was held every year at whichever palace the All Mother chose and I was attending the Ball with my twin brother for the first time in place of our parent who had went into uthenera just a few months ago. As the first born by eighteen minuets my brother was to assume the role as the head of the house actively gaining all the titles that came with it in the absence of our parents which they had been preparing him for his whole life. I on the other hand was to be presented to the Evanuris and offer my services to them._

_I had been trained almost since birth in the arts of battle and magic. As with most elvhen twins where, one always came into the world way stronger then their twin, with immense power that could rival even the Gods, I had developed my magical talents at a younger age then most. With that magic for me, came the ability to see the future. Foresight was a rare ability among my people with maybe eight people known to posses it counting me and Mythal herself._

_My parents had hid my brother and I existence from the beginning and only announced us to the public when Mythal came to them with a vision she had of me, in my two hundred ninety-eighth year. With a sworn oath to protect me made by the All Mother my parents made their wishes of me serving in the Guardian known. The Guardian was a small but powerful elite force that protected the whole Pantheon and was comprised of the most magically talented second_ _born_ _of the noble families. As the second born of the noble family Lavellan and the most magically talented elvhen to be born since Fen’Harel himself I was offered the position of Commander of the Guardian, a position I would acquire after two more decades of training._

_By the request of Mythal I was to be presented to the pantheon today at the Harvest Ball and would under go the initiation within a year. That is why I was currently standing in the shadows of the ballroom near the ever changing buffet table nursing a glass of wine. My nerves were razed and the noise of the gathering had set me on edge. I was quietly observed a very intimate dance of a touchy couple near by when my twin brother Misera approached me._

“ _My dear sister Isanami, come dance with me and stop with this sulkiness.” He said as he bowed and offered me his hand with a dramatic flare. I chuckled to myself as I took his hand and followed him to the floor._

“ _My Lovely sister, I am pleased to let you know that I have already received many request for my permission by very notable men to court you, and just as many curious questions about your beautiful hair. I dare say you have smitten many with your very presents here tonight.” Misera spun me around and dipped me low._

“ _If they are so_ _smitten, as_ _you claim my brother, then they are all spineless. For non have approached me themselves. Besides with my new position I wont have the time to entertain the thought courting.” I scoff as the song ended and the dance floor empty._

 _The Evanuris were setting at the high table at the head of the ball room with Mythal at the middle Elgar’nan on her right and the brat prince Fen’Harel to her lift. Be side him sat the Twins Dirthaman and Falon’din, along with_ _Ghilan'nain_ _n who sat at the very end. On the other side to the right of Elgar’nan sat Andruil, Sylaise and June. Behind the All Mother standing tall and proud was her_ _favored_ _follower and sentinel Abales, who’s sharp eyes were ever scanning the crowds for threats against his goddess. Mythal stood up and with an elegant motion pulsed her warm_ _aura through out the room successfully gaining the attention of the ball attendants. With a wave of her hand she began to address the crowd._

“ _My people it pleases me greatly to see us_ _flourish so immensely. It warms my heart to be able to once again celebrate the coming harvest with all of you. I speak on the behalf the rest of the pantheon when I say there is more prosperity yet to come. With that being said, I would like to announce and introduce the new Commander of the Guardian whom I have selected my self, Lady_ _Isanami of noble house Lavellan please_ _approach_ _the high table.” She nodded to me as I took in a deep breath and was lead up to the front of the high table by my brother._ _A_ _hush whisper rippled around the gathering as we bowed to the Evanuris._

“ _I am so_ _honored to have been offered such an important role in The Guardian, and as active Commander I vow to do everything in my power to protect and serve you.” I said humbly as I bowed again and looked to the All Mother, but it wasn’t her who spoke next._

“ _Mother I must inquire about the ability's of this noble woman, other then her pleasing face and peculiar hair color I fail to see what she can offer in means of protections.” the gravely voice of Falon’din ranged out over the crowed. I felt Misera stiffen at my side but before he could cause embarrassment to our family name Mythal spoke again._

“ _My dear son, as you may see other then their hair color the two that stand before us are twins, and we all know the legend of twins. Isanami is the more Magically inclined twin and also posses the talent of foresight. Her power could eventually rival even my own, I dare say that talent and power is needed in The Guardian, wouldn't you agree?” she looked to Falon’din who sat quietly assessing me, he didn’t answer but continued to observe me._

“ _Lady Isanami your hair is very... particular. May I ask how it came to be such an unusual color?’ the inevitable question came from Fen’Harel. I blushed at the embarrassing topic of how I got my signature blue hair._

“ _At year five of my life my mana well overflowed and in an attempt to deplete it an unpracticed spell backfired turning my hair blue. Nothing I or my parents did, ever succeeded in returning it to its original color, my Lord.” that got a few chuckles through out the crowed behind me, a smile or two from the high table and a smirk from the brat prince._

_Elgar’nan who had been quiet so far finally spoke “Fen you are concerned with frivolous thing such as her hair color, while I am more interested in her name. Isanami, vengeful blade seems to be a very fitting name for the Commander Of The Guardian, if I may say so my self.” His voice was magically amplified and seemed to be coming from everywhere._

“ _Think of me as a vengeful blade to weld at your disposal my Lord” I smile as he nodded his approval._

“ _Well with the official business taken care of, let the festivity's resume, and Lady Isanami welcome to the Guardian.” with that Mythal spread her arms in an open invitation to continue the ball._

_I bowed once more to the Evanuris and was lead back to the area near the buffet table by Misera._

“ _You did well there Isanami, Mom would have been proud.” Misera praised as he handed me a glass of spiked punch._

“ _Yeah I wish her and pa were here to see_ _this, perhaps_ _I’ll find them in the fade tonight. Anyway I’m gonna head to the Red Lily Garden if you need me.” I squeeze his arm lovingly as I turn and head to the garden._

_The Red Lily Garden was one of the smallest and more secluded of the seven gardens available in the Palace. Its name came from the magically altered lily's that glowed a blood red, in stark contrast to the lush green of the grass and shrubs. A small creek that ran through out the palace’s main floor pooled into a small pound sprinkled with the red lily’s and was home to many exotic fish that glowed in a multitude of colors from the depths. A large elder tree loomed over the pound and cast a pleasing shadow over the numerous shaped shrubs and the only available lovers bench. It was a peaceful scene and a refreshing one to the events of the ball._

_I was surprised to find the small garden to be deserted, fully expecting to come across some clingy couple copping a feel in the provided seclusion. I gave a sigh of relief and removed my heels before settling on the bench. I pulled out a book titled The history Of Dragons: A fiery Beginning, that I nicked from the library adjacent to the garden. I was interrupted from the interesting read when I heard a light shuffling coming from the said library, looking up from the book I see Lord Fen’Harel making his way towards me._

_He looked regal with his auburn locks pulled away from his face with_ _an ornate_ _bone headdress. He walked towards me with his signature cocky, swaggering walk and sat beside me a smile playing on his lips._

“ _What can I do for you my Lord?” I asked irritated with his entitled presence._

“ _I came to congratulate you personally. I must say you have made quit_ _an impression_ _on those present here tonight. Though I have to ask why have you secluded yourself here away from the potential suitors?” He questioned, his eyes twinkling in the moon light._

_I raised the book in my hand and indicated to it, “I have no interest in playing a part in Arlathan's great game, by leading on its more desperate participants. I am courting this book as of late, which if I may say has more spine then most of those present.” He chuckled at my pun and reached over fingering a stray lock of my hair. I fought the urge to flinch away, I absolutely hated to be touched without permission._

“ _Your hair is the most intriguing and beautiful color I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.” He brought the strands up to his nose and inhaled deeply before he continued. “You know I would love to have you visit Tarasyl’an Te’las, where I would like to get more acquainted with you. I can compensate you nicely.”_

_I stiffened at his implication and scooted further away from him putting a safe distance between us. “My lord I do not know what you are insinuating, I apologize if I lead you on in any way.” I say taking the more submissive route lest I angered the brat prince. He didn’t get the message and I was feeling my mana fluctuating with my own rising anger._

“ _There are so many benefits one gains in spending a few evenings with me. Though all I really ask is for one night of your time, a night I’m sure would be quite enjoyable for the both of us” he closed the distance between us and placed his hand on mine in my lap. I jumped to my feet yanking my hand away from his and dropping the book to the ground._

“ _My lord I ask you to stop this, there is nothing you can offer me for I have so much already. Your attention is unwanted by me and I would suggest you find someone more susceptible to your charms and perhaps you will find what you are looking for in the ball room. To put it simply my lord I seek honor for my family and there is no honor in bedding you like some bubble headed low class noble!” I bow low and turn to leave the idiot prince with a stricken look upon his face. The scene faded and morphed into a different scene all together._

 

_I was laying on a cold metal slab with my eyes covered, my hands bound above my head and my back exposed to the chilly air. It has been two years since that fated harvest ball and I was now being branded with a special vallaslin that had been designed specifically for my position as commander of the Guardian._

_I had been awaken in the night and lead blindfolded to an unknown location, though I was sure it was the lab underneath the Summer Palace. It was then explained to me that this vallaslin would allow all the members of the pantheon to command me, allowing me to follow out their every command until it was fulfilled and would ensure my obedience. It also would act as a cap for my mana well preventing it from overflowing and causing the random burst of magic that continually plagued me since my childhood. I was against the very nature of the blood writing being placed upon me seeing it as slave markings and only accepted it with the urging of both Misera and the All Mother._

_The usual process of acquiring a vallaslin was supposed to be remotely painless, but due to the nature of the vallaslin, I was to obtain the pain had been present and was excruciating. The whole of the pantheon was present and had gathered around my exposed back and were one by one weaving their magic into their sigils that had been tattooed on me._

_Close to the end of the process I felt warm breath near the tip of my ear, “No honor did you say?” I heard the sing song taunt that was followed by a particularly painful channeling of magic into my back. The pain was so much more then all before it that it finally brought tears to my eye’s and a scream from my lungs. The scene switched once again though my screams continued to echo into the darkness._

 

 

 

3 rd  Person POV incoming

 

The door to his cabin was thrown open announcing the Seekers arrival and punctuated by the cold breeze that whipped around the small room. Solas stood up from his chair at his desk and crossed the room to the sleeping elvhen woman laying on the cot in the middle of the Cabin. He stood beside the cot with his hands firmly behind his back. “Seeker, Nightingale, what can I do for you?” he addressed the strong Nevarran woman and the spymaster who had closed the door behind her.

“We came to get an update on the elven woman and to see if there has been any change in her condition.” the seeker said with a thick accent and a wave to the sleeping woman. Before Solas could answered the Nightingale spoke cutting him off.

“We are quite interested in the tattoo on her back and the oddness of her hair color.” the Orlesian bard spoke softly but Solas knew she was trying to assess the dangers the unconscious woman could pose to the newly started Inquisition.

“She has yet to wake up from her uthenera like state, although in the last hour or so she began to thrash about as if in some kind of pain. As for the color of her hair I could only guess that it is a byproduct of a rebounded spell. I have heard of such incidents in my travels in the Fade.” he looked down at the woman noting she had since resumed a more peaceful slumber. The Seeker perked up at the mention of uncontrolled magic.

“She is a mage? Will she be able to control her ability's, is she a danger to the people of Haven?”The seeker aggressively questioned, her hand flying to the hilt of her sword as if to strike down the unopposing woman. Solas frowned at the actions of the woman but answered the questions calmly.

“All Elven People of Arlathan possessed the talent of magic , seeker. I have no doubt the woman in front of us will have full control of her ability’s. Despite her youthful appearance, this woman is between 5,700 to 6,300 years old give or take a few centuries. That would give her ample amount of time to hon her skills and gain complete control over her magic, wouldn't you agree?” the seeker was not good at hiding her emotions and seemed to be shocked at the age of the being laying on the cot. She visibly relaxed her stance a little and removed her hand from the hilt of her sword.

“And what of her tattoo, I am aware of the Dalish custom's of tattooing their faces in honor of their gods. Is this just another of such tattoos, perhaps an infusion of magic and ink is the cause of it glowing?” the spymaster asked not noticing the slight clenching of Solas’s jaw at her comparing the woman to the Dalish. She had walked over to the sleeping woman and began to trace her fingers along the tattoo, Cassandra stayed near the entrance of the Cabin standing at the ready.

“As I have said before she is not dalish nor is she even of this time. This woman is from the time of Arlathan, she is an Ancient Elven noble and from what her ‘tattoo’ claims she was the commander of the elite force that was tasked with protecting the Evanuris. It also reads that she served as a seer for the pantheon. I have seen this ‘tattoo’ before in the fade, it is said the Evanuris placed it upon a chosen themselves.” The taste in his mouth was sour, calling the vallaslin a tattoo was a complete understatement of the markings true nature. Liliana nodded her head at his words and withdrew her hand from the sleeping woman’s back.

“I see, well there is still the concern of what we heard at the breach. Who ever murdered the Divine wanted to capture this woman. Do you have any ideal why they would want her alive?”

“I heard just as you did Nightingale, I can not claim to know the motives of who ever ripped open the sky. I can only guess that the culprit might have surmised this woman's origins, and assumed her magical ability's would be a great asset to their cause.” Solas responded coolly. Seemingly satisfied with his answer the spymaster moved on.

“As it stands the breach is still a pressing problem despite the attempt made by the Harold to close it. Given the study's you have conducted on the breach do you have any suggestions on closing it for good? The seeker finally spoke again. Solas stood a little straighter before replying to the question.

“I believe having both marks present and amplified by more power channeling through the marks, either from the mages or the Templar order should completely seal the breach.” the two woman nodded in unison, Cassandra turned to the door and headed out into the cold. Liliana started to follow the seeker but stopped just before the door before turning back to face Solas.

“There is one other matter that needs to be settled. Word has gotten out about the naked Ancient Elf the Herald Of Andraste carried out of the rift. Some believe her to have been sent by the maker to protect and guide the Herald with her ancient knowledge and are going as far as calling her the Protector of Andraste. How do you think we should go about combating these claim’s without offending her beliefs?” Solas raised an eyebrow in question.

“How have you gone about combating these claims on the behalf of the man you call the Herald?” he paused to give her the chance to answer but her silence said it all. “I see...Well perhaps you should let them believe what they want, and use it to the advantage of the newly formed Inquisition.”

“But she is an ancient elf, would the maker truly send an Elven woman as the protector of the Herald?” she said momentarily losing her collected composure.

“The Herald is a mage. Is it really so far fetched your Maker would send an ancient elven mage to assist the Herald along in his trials. Did Andraste herself not have the help of the Elven commander Shartan? Or dose the clipping of his ears in every painting depicting the events of the Exalted March also erase his direct hand in your prophets success? Use this to your advantage Nightingale, her presence will bring more unlikely allies to rally this young organizations cause.” with that Solas tuned away from Liliana and proceeded to examine his desk for what he had been working on before the two woman had arrived. Noting that she had been dismissed the spy mater quietly removed herself from his cabin

When he was sure the lady's were not sulking around outside his door, he places a pricey ward on the door to keep any more unwanted visitors out. Solas then pulled his chair closer to the cot and sat beside the woman. He grabbed the woman's marked hand and poured his magic into it, before withdrawing it in an attempt to draw with it the magic of the mark. The green mark pulsed in recognition to its owners magic but stayed firmly in the woman's hand. He looked deeper into the mark and could see blue tendrils of the woman's magic slowly but surly converting the magic in the mark it its own. With a deep sigh of defeat he placed her hand back beside her and stood up from the chair.

Solas moved towards his own bed, but came to a stop at the head of the woman's cot. Bending over the sleeping woman he reach for a loose lock of her blue hair and brought it to his nose. Inhaling deeply he smiled whispering to himself. “No honor you say?”

 

 

1 st  person once again

 

_I was sitting at my desk in my office at obsidian fortress of the Guardians, a gloomy fort that loomed over the lowest tier of Arlathan. Sparsely furnished or decorated and infested with dark shadow in every corner, it was a depressing construct. It was also quiet and peaceful, just as I liked it._

_It had been nearly a millennium and a half since I gained the position of Commander of the Guardian and I had ran the elite force with an iron fist. The Guardian had became_ _a well_ _oiled machine under my rule, I had been so effective with it’s reform that the Evanuris granted me full control of the force after my fourth century as commander. They were so pleased with my strict rule after my ninth century in command they added the enforcement of the law over the common people to the list of my responsibilities._

_As exciting as that may all seem my day to day activity's consisted of settling the more heated civil disputes and sorting through the many request of the people ranging from small things like finding a missing pets to the more outlandish such as lowering taxes which did not fall under my rule. But as of late with the slave uprising in effect I had been getting an over whelming amount of request to find and or capture the run away slaves of many noble families._

_I ignored them of course, the concept of the upper class enslaving those of the lower class never sat well with me. My noble family House Lavellan had always bought slaves only to free them and offer them free housing and fair wages. The ones who chose to not work for us were given a small crest of my family to ensure their safety and a small purse full of coin. Although now that the uprising was ravaging Arlathan my brother had taken to giving them safe passage to Tarasyl’an Te’las, through our families Eluvian._

_My family was a secret patron to the cause and had been silently funding the movement from the beginning and at great risk. Lord Fen’Harel Had been cast out of the pantheon as a traitor to the Evanuris and the people of Arlathan. Being in contact with him could have me stripped of my position and my family’s titles and holding would be seized on_ _the_ _law of co-conspiring with a known traitor._

_I shuffle through the mess of paper piled on my desk and was about to turn in for the night when a soft knock came from the door of my office. Without thinking or looking up from the report I had just picked up I lift my locking rune with a wave of my hand._

“ _Come in.” I say still reading the report. The door opened slowly and I looked up just in time to see lord Fen’Harel himself stroll into my office just as proud as the day of his ascension. I jumped up out of my seat and glared at him. I had saw a vision of him approaching me but the when and were had not been so clear as to the why. He was here to ask me to do something I was not sure I wanted to go through with._

“ _What are you doing here, how did you even get pass the damn guards? Never mind close the door, quickly.” I hissed at him seating back down trying to regain my composure. “You are risking my position here, showing up like this. Have a seat.” commanded waving my hand at the chair across from me in open invitation, smirking when he did as I asked._

“ _What is so important that you risk coming here in person and not send one of you agents as we previously agreed?” I asked taking in his tired appearance. Proud as he might be the revolt seemed to have taken its toll on his once enthusiastic face._

“ _This...uprising it’s more then I was expecting it to be. It’s I fear is more then I can handle alone. From the way things are going I fear it might trigger an all out war_ _among_ _the People.” he said in weary voice that was in stark contrast to his once cocky ways. I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and raised a questioning eyebrow at him._

“ _If it’s more funding you need, you will have to go to Misera for that, he will be all to happy to give it. As for more recruits, Misera informed me yesterday that he has about fifteen men and eight women ready to cross through the cross roads at midnight tomorrow...” I trailed off at his holding up a hand to stop my speech._

“ _You and your family have done so much for the underprivileged of Arlathan, and you continue to do so despite the dangers that accompany you selfless actions. But I must ask for more, and this time it may cost you and maybe the whole of the noble name Lavellan everything. I want you to come with me to Tarasyl’an Te’las to command my army.” he said as he watched me for any reaction. I was silent for a long moment staring blankly at him. He was right, this could cost me everything and the only good out come would be if my brother disowned me on the behalf of our parents in order to save face for the family name. I sighed deeply not sure what to do seeing internal conflict Fen’Harel spoke again._

“ _You will have a way out in the end, whether it convinces the remaining pantheon to stay their hand will be up to you. I may no longer be a member of said pantheon but my sigil is still present upon you back. You could always claim that used it to command you to do this.”he smiled a said smile. He was right again, even now I could feel the pressure and heat from his sigil reacting to his presence._

“ _Why me. There are other noble families that are open about their support to your cause and are actively standing with you in this rebellion. Surly you could find some one among them willing to command your armies?” I point out without disrespect to his offer._

“ _Your family have never taken slaves, many of the noble families that stand with me have though, they have just had a change of heart and have seen the wrong in it. Also you have great experiences in commanding, you are fair and strict. You rule the Guardian without prejudice, and that is more then I would be able to say about any of the nobles that help my cause. They all expect to get something in return in the end.” he stood up from his seat and stretched his hand out to me. I looked from it to him seeing the small knowing smile on his tired face. He knew I had already made my decision, I take it back was he still the cocky brat prince from all those centuries ago. I grasp his hand in agreement and his smile widen with smugness. ‘Alright lets get started planing you next steps.” The memory fade as another took its place._

 

 

_It was midnight when the knock on my door awoke me from my nightmare of a dream. Rubbing the sleep out of my weary eyes I swung my legs over the edge of my large empty bed and shuffled tiredly to the door. I opened it a small crack and saw that it was a sentinel of Dirthiman, opening the door wider I asked groggily “What is it?” the sentinel fidgeted under my glare before answering._

“ _Commander I am here to inform you that you request to enter uthenera has been accepted. I am to escort you to the preparation temple.” I nod my head and gesture him to enter my private quarters, he shook his head in refusal ._

“ _I will wait for you out here until you are ready.” I shrug closing the door behind me and began to ready myself._

_It had been two centuries and a half since I had fully pledged my allegiance to Fen’Harel’s cause. In that time there had been a full fledged war that spanned the majority of that time and only came to a conclusion after an agreement was made between Fen’Harel and the pantheon, though not without many casualties on both sides. He had some how convinced the Evanuris to give me my position as commander of The Guardian back with even more perks to my family. And in some strange twist Mythal herself reinstated Fen’Harel his position in the pantheon, waving him of his past transgressions, much to the objections of many of the fellow Evanuris. All was well...at least for them._

_I on the other hand had seen so much death from both the men I commanded on the behalf of Fen’Harel and the opposing side. I struggled to deal with what I had seen on the battle field and the blood that ran so freely in those moments of battle stained my very soul deeply. I couldn’t sleep without reliving every second of the bloody war. I was tired and borderline driven crazy by visions of wars that were still yet to come and I did want to have anything to do with them. I had requested the approval of the Evanuris to go into uthenera a few months ago and had prepared for the approval by recording my memories in Vir Dirthara with hopes someone would experience them and come across my visions of the future._

_I sigh and look around the room taking it all in, perhaps when I wake up if I wake up, if my visions didn’t come to pass it would still be my room. Ready for the welcoming peace of the long sleep I open the door and nod to the sentinel that I was ready. As part of the traditions and the process of uthenera the sentinel blindfolded me and took my hand in his to guide me along what would be my last steps in this troubled world._

 

The scene dissolved and in front of me stood Wisdom. I look at her with a heavy heart now understanding it all as my memories seemed to seep out from where they had been locked away. “ _I asked you to watch over my travels in the fade, when I was to go into uthenera. But... I never arrived. Do you know who betrayed me? Or why they denied me my much needed and deserved sleep_?” I asked my voice cracking under the raw emotions that were forcing their way to the surface.

“ _I do but I was asked not to tell you by the same people who sent you to the other world._ ” the spirit said appearing to be more solid then the last time I saw her. She was wearing plain elven garb and seemed to be barefooted.

“ _I have spent 32 years in another world answering to another name, I have died in this other world and all for what? What am I to do now, with my memories unlocked, everything that had happened feels as if it was just yesterday. I have not had time to actually cope with what I went through in that damn war. It all feels fresh._ ” I grabbed the sides of my head in emotional pain and howled into the silence of the fade. I could hear Wisdom shushing me and felt her patting me affectingly on my back as I let the tears flow.

“ _You must endure, you must not let these emotions destroy you. You have to stay strong and guide the young Inquisition in the right direction_.” she answered in a soothing tone.

“ _How do I face him? How do I lead an organization when I am a mess on the inside? What do I do now?_ ” I asked her knowing she would offer the most wisest of advice, as she always had.

“ _You must wake up, you have been asleep for 6 days. The Herald has already awaken after his attempt at sealing the breach. Now it is up to you to help him. Do not fight Fen’Harel about his path to redemption instead show him there are different means in which he can revive The People. But for now you must wake up._ ” she reach out to touch my forehead and before I could react I felt pressure in my head and was awaken instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? Didn't like it? Let me know by leaveing it in the comments. Also I'm not really amazing with math so if the numbers don't make sense leave that in the comments also.


	4. Tell them to suck it, and hold it down on the proving grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok here we are. Izanami is awake! Remember if it is in italics and quotation marks it is being spoken in Elven.

When I opened my eyes I was shocked to see that I was in a cozy rustic cabin as opposed to the cell I was expecting. As I slowly sat up I noticed that I was laying on a cot in the middle of the dimly lit room, and I wasn’t alone. Just a few feet away from my cot pushed up against a wall was an actual bed that was occupied by a sleeping form. Eyeing the occupant on the bed, I noticed a burning sensation accompanied by a nagging pressure from the vallaslin on my back. With a strong suspicion as to who was sleeping in the bed, I quietly swung my legs over the cot, got to my feet and stretched, my muscles protesting the my every movement.  

Standing up I looked down at myself, pleased that someone had clothed me, not my style of clothing but good enough. I was wearing a beige tunic that came to my knees with pale blue leggings, my feet were bare.

I take in my surroundings in the dying fire light of a stone fireplace on the opposite wall of the cabins exit. The cabin was small with the bed, cot, a large desk and a small wooden dresser all stuffed inside. There was another door in the cabin, which I didn’t know where it lead and a small window near the door, other then that the cabin was quite cozy and warm. Careful not to wake my roomie up, I quietly rummaged through the dresser for a pare of foot wrappings. Finding what I needed I wrapped my feet and slowly made my way to the exit only to stop short in the presence of a spell barring the door.

I tentatively reach out with my mana searching the door for the spell and coming across a superb privacy ward. As I was inspecting the ward there was a soft groan from the bed behind me almost making me jump. I look over my shoulder quickly to make sure he was still asleep before turning back to the door and expertly dispelling the ward.

An early morning chill greeted me to the once lazy snowy town of Haven. It was bigger then was portrayed in the game with easily thirty wooden cabins stuffed inside the towns stone walls all surrounding the large imposing Chantry building which sat at the top of an incline. The fresh snow reflected the orange light of the rising sun from the roof tops and the noises of the early risers filled the air with a soft buzz. I looked up at the sky and saw that it was know longer spewing demons and fade meteors though there was still a sick ting of green in the heaven’s and a green lightning dancing in the clouds.

 As I made my way to where I was sure the Singing Maiden was located I was greeted with open stares and annoying whispers from the few who were up and about mostly from chantry sisters. I ignored them as I found the tavern, a larger rustic wooden cabin with the welcoming sight of smoke spewing from its chimney.

Heat and cheery noises hit me the moment I opened the door, even this early the tavern was bustling with early morning patrons. When I stepped through the threshold the friendly banter ceased almost instantly as almost all present turned to look at me. Not sure what to do I turn to leave, uncomfortable under the unwanted stares.

“Wait! Is that my ancient protector?” A cheery gravelly voice yelled out as a hand clasped my shoulder from behind and turning me back towards the people of the tavern. I recognized the man but was unsure from where. He was a few inches shorter then me his his curly black haired head coming to level with my forehead. The man was handsome with an epic five o’clock shadow peppering a strong jaw and heavy eyebrows above dream like green eyes. There was an old scar above his left eye and another faint scar hidden in his beard. The man smiled at me and before I could say anything he dragged me through the crowd that had gone back to their conservation's.

He lead me to a table in the far corner of the tavern, pulling out a wooden chair for me as he waved the barmaid over.

“Bring this lovely lady a nice warm bowl of stew, some bread and the best wine you have. Not this swine the rest of us are drinking.” he ordered with a chuckle. The barmaid bowed before hurrying back to the kitchen.

 The man then sat in the chair across from me and took a sip from his mug before smiling a crooked smile towards me.

“Its good to see you up and about, you’ve been sleep for four day. I would have checked up on you but Solas wouldn't let me come near his cabin and frankly the guy scares me. So! How are you feeling?” he continued to smile at me as he waited for my response.

“I’m… a little sore but other then that I’m alive. I’m sorry… but who are you?” I asked trying not to sound ungrateful for his friendliness. He roared a hearty laugh and held his hand out for me to shake it.

“I’m Jericho Trevelyan, I carried your naked body out of the fade.” I winced at his mention of carrying me while I was naked, but shook his hand anyways. The barmaid returned with my meal and placed it on the table in front of me. The food looked great, the meaty scent of the stew was mouth watering and suddenly I was ravenous. Jericho watched as I tucked in with the manners of a staving noble and seemed to find it amusing. I ignored his gaze and tried to enjoy my first meal in Thedas since I got back.

“So… you got a name?”

“Isanami of noble house Lavellan, Commander of the Guardian, Oracle to the Pantheon.” I gave him my full title as it would have been announced in Arlathan’s court between sips of wine. It was sweet wine but a little too watered down for my taste or current needs.

“You were a noble in the time of Arlathan? That would explain why Solas nearly exploded when he found out you were in a cell under Haven. Just a warning the hedge mage is quiet obsessed with the ancient elves. To him you might be close to a God.”

 “Oh I highly doubt it.” I snorted at his comment, looking down at my now empty cup. I wanted something stronger, something that would dull the pain in my head anything that would mute the memory's that just kept resurfacing.

“Oh have you talked to him? He didn’t say anything out of line did he? I was against him taking you to his cabin, but he all but dragged you out of that cell. Though I’m sure waking up there was way better then waking up in the dungeons.” there was something in his eyes when he mentioned waking up in a cell.

“They shouldn’t have put you in that cell like some criminal only to turn around and call you the Herald of Andraste for the Inquisitions needs. Cassandra has a habit of acting before thinking even if it is for the good of the people.” I say before I could stop myself. Clamping my mouth shut I hurriedly stood to my feet to leave.

“Thank you for the meal, That was kind of you.” I turned to leave but he reached across the table to grab my hand, I turned back to face him again.

“How did you know they are calling me Herald of Andraste? Or that the Seekers name is Cassandra? You have been sleep since you came to Haven how would you know about the forming of the Inquisition?” He walked around the table and stood in front of me still holding my hand. I glanced around us and sure enough others were noticing the touch too. With no other way to explain how I knew these things I answered the only way I could.

“Did you not hear me when I said ‘Oracle Of the Pantheon’? I posses the talent of foresight. I saw you being questioned by Cassandra and Leliana in that cell, while I slept. It came to me in the form of a dream.” I say matter of factual as I snatch my hand away. He took a step back and sheepishly grinned as he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Oh…yeah I forgot, forgive me if I made you feel…uncomfortable. Solas did say something about your ability to see the future. May I ask what you are going to be up to for the rest of the day?”

“I suspect Cassandra and the rest of the war room council would like to question me, so I’m going to head to the chantry.”

“Well Lady Isanami may I escort you to the Chantry? Though Haven isn’t as big as Val Royeaux, one can easily find themselves lost.” He said cheerful once again, as he held out his arm in invitation. I nodded and took his arm allowing the Herald to lead me to the Chantry.

 

The chantry was the largest building in Haven and towered over the surrounding village. The building was made of stone with wooden accents, the large doors were not plain as they were in the game, but elegantly carved with the chantry symbol in the middle of them. The arching roof top of the building was covered in snow and dawned new Inquisition banners. Through the large doors of the chantry we walked in to something akin to a grand hall dimly lit with many candle light chandelier’s and heavily decorated with religious statues and banners. Along the walls were the red and white chantry drapes and on the stone ground lay a long red rug adorned with the chantry symbol. As we made our way through the main hall of the chantry many of the present sisters bowed or nodded in the direction of Jericho, who didn’t seem to enjoy the attention.

“Maker these woman make me so uncomfortable with their bowing and awe shocked faces.” he murmured under his breath.

“Most men would enjoy this type of attention, and many live for it.”  I snicker as we got to the war room. He flashed me a quick smile as he opened the war room door for me.

“Herald there are some important things we…oh” said the heavy orlesian accented voice of Leliana who came to a stop when Jericho opened the door wider to let me in.

“May I introduce Lady Isanami Lavellan.” he said letting go of my arm and lavishly waving his hand at me. I bow my head slightly as I look around the room at those present.

 Leliana was beautiful and lovely with her red hair slightly covered by a purple shawl. She was fair skinned with a slight blush on her cheeks and lips, she was wearing her spymaster armor and looked formidable. She had pale green eyes that were lined with black coal, but as pretty as they were there was something dark hidden in them like she had seen too much.

Josephine was elegant in her golden dress, which highlighted her exquisite honey toned skin. She had dark black hair that was pulled back in an intricate bun and hazel eyes that gleamed in the dim light of the war room. She stood straight with a noble air about her and a clipboard in the crook of her arm. She smiled welcoming at me when our eyes met.

Cullen stood between the two tall and proud in his lion armor. He was handsome with his golden hair brushed back from his face. He had a noble nose and a light stubble present upon his jaw. He had an old scar on his top lip and kind tired eyes that were a light blue. He was also the first to speak

“Welcome Lady Isanami I am com-” I cut him off with a raised hand, standing a little straighter ready to do what I needed to do.

“Commander Cullen, Lady Ambassador Josephine, and Spymaster Leliana, I am Isanami of noble house Lavellan, in the time of Arlathan I was the Commander of the Guardian, and also a trusted adviser to the Elven Pantheon as a seer. I know what has happen and I have knowledge of whats to come, I would like to be of service to the young Inquisition if you will have me.” As I said all this in my most authoritative tone that I reserved for my men in the Guardian, I walked around the table and shook each of their hands. They shook my hand in return all with the look of questioning shock upon their faces.

“How do you know who we are? Did you the Herald tell you about us?” The commander asked as I shook his hand. Before I answered I hoisted myself up on the edge of the war table and crossed my legs.

“I know a lot of things, I see a lot of things. Things that have happened and things that are yet to be. It would be nothing to know your names and affiliations. But there are more important things to discuss other then how or how much I know of you all. I came here to answer any of the questions you might have, and to offer my services.”

“She is a seer Cullen, she came here on her own, I mean after she woke up.” Jericho interjected as he walked over to stand near me.

“So she claims, but what are her motives. She just woke up and yet she knows each of our roles, and we know nothing of her.” said Leliana from her slightly darker corner of the table. I looked to her and smile kindly not taking any offense from her comments she glared suspiciously back at me.

“Do I really need a motive, when there is a force that threaten us all? Can I just simply want to be apart of the only group that seem to want all this chaos to cease or must I claim a higher being told me to do so. I wonder did the Hero of Ferelden question your motives to join her in her quest against the darkspawn?” I let the small bit of information slip just to let her know I knew about it all. She seemed to get the message for she fell silent and just nodded her head. Cullen looked from her to me seeming to notice the exchange between us.

“Other then being a seer what else can you offer the Inquisition? As I am sure you have notice we are in need of many things, and there a numerous roles that need to be filled. Could you give a list of your capabilities so that we may assign you a fitting role?” the sweet voice of Josephine ranged out.

“I am a mage of substantial talent, I am very proficient in the art of batte-” I was cut off by a disturbance in the Great hall outside the war room.

“You cant go in there sir. There is a meeting in session.” a voice muffled by the door yelled out, just before said door flew open revealing an idiot… Oops I meant Solas, a very angry Solas.

“Solas what is the meaning of this?” Cullen demanded but was ignored by the intruding apostate.

_“Why did you not wake me? How dare you lift a ward I place for you protection? What are you doing here with them, why not come to me first?”_ he questioned shoving past the advisers and stepping up to me and the war table. I looked down at him from my perch and back at the three advisers who could not understand a word he had said since he was speaking Elvhen.

_“Oh you must be the local Hedge mage apostate it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Isanami if there are to be introduction.” I say before bursting out into laughter at his utter confusion. “I’m joking, lighten up. I see that I owe you a secret my lord, and you owe me a thank you for warning you of the conclave.”_  I watched his confusion deepen as he took a step closer, his chest almost touching my knees.

_“You are…how…come with me. Lets talk about this in private.”_ He grabbed my hand and attempted to pull me off the table to my feet, but I resisted.

_“I’m in the middle of something.”_  I reply pulling my hand from his.

_“ It can wait. ”_

_“Tell that to them._ ”He looked around us as if he had not noticed those present in the room with us. He stepped away from me and bowed his head slightly to the advisers.

“Forgive me for the intrusion. My patient had not informed me she was up and about.” he said in a humble tone.

“We were just going over Isanami’s ability's and what she could offer to the Inquisition. Isanami go on.” Cullen said eyeing Solas.

“Well Commander as I was saying before, I am very proficient in the art of battle, and I have had the responsibility of commanding armies in wars that lasted centuries.” I say the last part with a heavy heart without looking in the direction of ‘Solas’.

“That means she can come with me to the Hinterlands. You will come with me right?” the Herald said pushing past Solas to pat me on the knee.

“We should at lest evaluate her skills Herald before we send her out on the battle field. Isanami would you be willing to give us a demonstration of your skills?” Leliana asked me, finally speaking up.

“I would gladly sh-”

“Absolutely not, she just woke up. She needs a few days to rest and regain her strength.” Solas objected I began to protest but he cut me off once again.  _“You must not push yourself. I would also like to evaluate your new form to see if your mana well seal is still active. Last thing you need is for you magic to be uncontrollable. You will not argue with me on this.”_ he said ending the conversation before I could reply.

“I would like to over see Isanami’s recovery over the course of the next few days. She should be up to par by the time we head for the Hinterlands.” he continued standing straighter with his hands behind his back. Cullen looked at him then to me before nodding his head in response.

“Very well, you have three day before the Herald is off to the Hinterlands. Keep us informed on her progress.” With that the Commander exited the room. I hopped off the table and turned to follow but was stopped by a kind hand tapping my shoulder.

“There is the matter of lodging, though we are short on cabins there is a vacant one on the outskirts of Haven that you could make your own. Do you have any request for what you would want in the cabin _._ ” Josephine asked as she began to scribble on her clipboard. I began to respond but the rude hedge mage spoke up in my stead.

“That will be unnecessarily, Isanami will stay in my cabin.” he said smirking at me, I glared back at him and placed my hands on my hips.

_“Excuse me, do I not have a say in where I lay my head, My lord? Am I to sleep on that cot in the middle of your crowded cabin with no privacy?”_ I switched to my native tongue as I took a threatening step towards him, but he wasn’t fazed.

_“I have a second room you can have where you will have your privacy. It will be better if you stayed in the village. Do not make me command you.”_ he closed the distance between us but I didn’t back down, though I did feel his magic thrumming in my back at him being so near.

_“Yeah by all means stuff me in a closet. Command me if you dare, though with your lack of power I have no doubt I could fight your will.”_ he looked as if to speak but I cut him off  _“_ _ _Careful ‘hedge mage’ your superiority is showing.__ _”_ I sneered before turning back to Josephine. “When will the Cabin be ready?” The lady tore her eyes from Solas’s defeated face to answer.

“Within two days I believe, there is much to clean out to make it livable again.”

“Alright then I will be staying in Solas’s cabin until then. Thank you Josephine, Spymaster.” I nodded to them both flashing them a kind smile as I took my leave.

 

_“So you saw Corypheus kill the Divine at the conclave? Why didn’t you tell the advisers?”_ We were back in his cabin and I was sitting on his bed as I watched him move the cot into the second room.

_“How would I explain that? ‘Oh I came from the fade just in time to see your religious figurehead be murder by a darkspawn abomination.’ Like that would go over great with the commander. The mere thought of me exiting the fade and recreating my form would have had the ex-templar brandishing his sward at me in no time in fear of me being possessed.”_ I snorted as I crossed my legs. He completed his task and had walked over to me.

_“I agree, these shems tend to react violently towards things they do not understand. Alright remove your tunic and lay down._ ”I do as he ask holding back any dirty jokes that came to mind. Last thing I needed was to incite any ideals in the man who had once came onto me. I lay on his bed with my back exposed to him, he bent over placing his warm hand onto my back and examined the vallaslin. I felt the chill of his magic travel through the blood writings searching for breaks in the seal. We stayed this way for a few moments before he took in a deep breath withdrawing his magic and removing his hand.

_“The command sigils are still in tact, but the mana well seal is broken. I don’t have the tools to fix the seal at this time and it will be a while before I can repair it. Until then It might just be safer for you to stay in the cabin on the outskirts of Haven. For now if you feel your mana overflowing come to me, I will assist you in the releasing process.”_ He stepped back as I sat up and put my tunic back on.

_“There is no need for that, I know how to release on my own. Thanks for the offer though.”_ I stood up and made my way to the door but he grabbed my hand to stop me. I was getting real tired of people touching me without my permission, I turn to tell him just that when I was stopped by the cocky smile that was making an appearance on his lip.

_“Not so fast, You owe me a secret, remember.”_  I looked at him as my own cocky smile played upon my lips, which seem to unnerve him.

_“Oh you want to cash in now? Fitting for the Dread Wolf to not wait. Very well as you wish.”_ I pulled my hand from his and stood straighter and allowed my mana to flare around me. He felt my power but did not react in stead he moved closer as if to hear a whisper.

_“I know the passphrase to the Eluvians.”_ his eyes widen in shock as he waited for me to continue, but I didn’t, instead I let what I said hang in the air as I once again tried to leave.

_“What is the password?_ ”he asked as he grabbed my wrist again. I turned back to him angered by him touching me.

_“That wasn’t part of the deal. The deal was that I told you a secret, which I have. The secret was that I knew the password. Now if you want to know the password you would have to make another deal with me. And would you please stop touching me.”_  I put emphasis on the last part by yanking my wrist from his hand and glaring at him.

_“I could just command you tell me.”_ he threatened, ignoring my glare, I scoff at him almost laughing.

_“Ha! You could try, but as I said before you are too weak to wield that power and I could probably fight your will.”_  I was going to say more but he closed the distance between us and pushed me up against the door and held my wrist above my head. I squirmed under his weight the pressure in my back grew more noticeable.

_“_ _You will tell me what I want to know or…_ _”_

_“Or what? You will kill me like you did Felassan? Now that would be very unwise seeing as he did not possess the information you seek but I do.”_  I stared at him coolly still trying to free myself from his hold.

_“Very well, I command you Isanami to tell me all you know of the password to the Eluvians!_ ”He commanded as he weaved his magic into his voice amplifying the commands strength. At his command the pressure on my back increased to a searing pain and I felt myself open my mouth to speak. I fought the urge to carry out his command attempting to clamp my mouth shut while, flaring my mana out and battling his will with mine. The pain in my back worsen as I fought, I grit my teeth against it and directed my mana into his sigil on my back in defiance. We stood like that for few a minutes before my will over took his and the searing pain in my back abruptly stopped. Realizing what I had just achieved I grinned a menacing grin at him and his shocked face.

_“Like I said you Are.Too.Weak. The only way you will get what you want is if you make another deal with me. Now. Get. The. Fuck. Off. Of. Me!”_  I sneer at him. He complied and for the second time today he wore the expression of defeat as he released my hands and stepped back from me. I rubbed my wrist and eyed him for a second, waiting for him to speak. When he spoke the defeated look had disappeared and was replaced with a look I had seen many times before. Before I could stop him he reached for a strand of my hair and weaved it through his fingers.

_“There are other ways to make a woman talk Isanami, and don’t think for a second that I just want the password from you. I want more then that.”_ he stepped closer to me again, his voice low and now longer commanding. I looked at him in disbelief…Like really?

_“Do you really think you can seduce the information from me, looking like a fucking egg? You would have to do better then that my lord, make the deal or stop wasting my time.”_ he looked surprised and a little confused as he drooped my hair from his fingers.

“ _Egg?_ ” he asked stepping back from me once again, I shrug my shoulders.

_“That is what your many fan girls call you in the other world, that and egg head. Honestly my lord you look ridicules with out hair. Any way are you go to make a deal with me or not?”_ I questioned trying to move the conversation on from his looks. He looked as if he wanted to say more on the subject but decided not to.

_“Alright what do you have in mind?”_ he conceded walking towards his desk and sitting in the chair, before waving me to sit on the bed.

_“Here’s the deal, I will tell you what you want to know after this thing with Corypheus is over. But you have to promise to help the Inquisition get to that point.”_ I say as I take his invitation and sit on his bed.

“ _How will I know when it is over? And why then? ”_

_“Oh you will know when its over my Lord. As for why, well if I told you now, you would just up and leave to carry out you plans. Besides I feel you should stay and help fix the mess you caused.”_ I sat there watching his expression and waiting for his agreement.

_“I didn’t mean for this to happen, Corypheus was supposed to die in the resulting explosion upon unlocking the orb_.”he said in defense.

_“I know but there is no going back, whats done is done. So do we have a deal my lord?”_  I say standing up ready to finish this conversation and leave. He rose from his chair with me and nodded his head in agreement.

_“As you wish we will do it you way. Were are you off to?”_ he followed me to the door.

_“To the tavern, you can find me there if you need anything.”_ he nodded and opened the door for me.

 

The tavern was way more crowded then it had been that morning many of its occupants huddled over bowls of hot stew or nursed their watered down drinks. When I entered I was waved over to the corner table from before by Jericho who was enjoying a drink with a very cheery dwarf. Varric was about four feet tall with golden orange hair tied in a ponytail. He was dressed in a red silk tunic with a very impressive amount of chest hair peaking through the opening at his neck. He looked relaxed with his famous crossbow not far from him, leaning against the leg of the table.

“What a pleasure it is to meet you Varric Tethras.” I greeted the man as I pulled up a seat beside him. His eyes went big as he choked on his drink in surprise, the Herald slapped him on the back as he roared with laughter.

“I told you she would know who you are. That will be four silvers for me when you get the chance.”

“Now that's not fair Stubbles, you could have told her about me. Any ways it nice to met you too. Let me get you a drink.” the dwarf hopped off his chair and disappeared through the crowd.

 

I spent the next few hours drinking and chatting with the herald and the story writer, enjoying being alive and having a distraction. Varric was very charming and had a way with words, he told me the story of the Champion and kept the drinks coming. When he asked questions about myself he did it in a non-intrusive way giving me the choice to answer or not.

“Tell me about your hair, I’ve never seen hair that color before. There has to be a great story behind it.” he asked before drowning another cupful of the awful wine that we were served. I shake my head not wanting to go into details on it.

“Its quite short really. I was maybe five in years when a spell backfired and turned it from brown to this blue you see now.” I say, my words slurring as the wine was finally taking effect.

‘Aww really that’s all your gonna give us?”

“Well as a young child my brother and I would always play pranks on each other. That particular day he had tricked me into drinking a very nasty drink he had father glamour to look like water, so the spell I was trying to do was suppose to encase him in a bubble and float him away. Instead the spell knocked me onto my butt and completely changed my hair color. Ha I can still remember running to ma crying like the world had ended. For months I refused to go any where and to make matter worse my brother began calling me bubbles.” The dwarf laughed and slapped his knee in reaction.

“That’s a good one Blue.” he said, I raised an eyebrow at the new nickname.

“Wait, you are nicknaming me Blue, after my hair? You are the first dwarf in history to give an Ancient Elven noble a nick name and you chose Blue?” I giggled drunkenly as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Ah it ether that or Ancient One, I figured you wouldn't take well to being called out on your age every time we talk.” Varric chuckled.

“I see… and you right. No woman wants every one to know how old they are especially when you thousands of years old, imagine what that would do to my chances of finding a suitor?” I winked at him as I finished off my 10th or 11th drink, I had lost count and with that I had also lost track of time.

“Well I’m gonna call it a night, I got to get up early to plain the trip to the hinterlands with Cassandra. Varric, Lady Isanami I bid you two good night” the Herald stood up from the table and nodded his head to us as he stumbled his way out of the tavern.

“So Blue are you coming on the trip to the Hinterland with us?”

“I want to but I have to give a display of my skills first, to give the advisers peace of mind.” I answered leaning back in the chair.

‘Oh I would love to see that, who will you be going up against, Solas?”

“Ha He wouldn’t stand a chance against me. I would blow him off this world with the awesomeness of my ability's.” I slurred, the alcohol speaking through me.

“Is that so?” A brooding voice said from behind me I jumped in surprise, having not felt his presence on my back. Drinking for me had been frowned upon by the  Evanuris for it temporary weakened the power of the sigils on my back. I turn in the chair coming face to hips with Solas himself. Looking up at him I grinned a drunken grin.

“Well if it isn’t the egg coming to have a drink with the cool kids…” I laughed at his frowning face.

“Hey there chuckles, don’t mind Blue she’s had a couple of drinks. Can I get you anything?” Varric asked hiding a smile.

“No, I came to retrieve Isanami.” he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair.

“I came to retrieve Isanami.” I mimicked as I swayed on my feet.  _“_ _I asked you to stop touching me Mr.Egg.”_  he made a disapproving clicking noise with his tongue.

_“You are drunk and clearly in need of assistance to walk._ ” he ignored my nickname for him. I stumbled in an attempt to move away from him, but he held fast and steadied me.

   “Master Tethras.” he said nodding his head to the dwarf before turning us and leading me through the tavern to the door.

The cold air of the night was pleasing to my skin and allowed me a sliver of alertness. I push away from Solas and began to trudge through the fresh snow to his cabin.

_“I don’t recall you ever being a big drinker.”_  he stated, the statement was heavy with question. I shrugged my shoulders as opened the door to his cabin.

_“I don’t recall ever having to deal with all my memories in rapid secession._ ”I murmured sarcastically. He followed me inside closing the door behind him, before placing a privacy ward on it. He then walked over to the fire place and waved a hand over it willing a fire to life. I made my way to his bed, turned my back to him and began to undress.

_“What are you doing?_ ”he asked clearing his throat behind me.

_“I’m gonna sleep in this bed, you can have that hard uncomfortable cot in that sorry excuse of a closet. Or you can sleep standing up, I don’t care._ ” I say as I climb under the covers of his bed. I looked to him from where I lay and saw that stupid look on his face again I raised an eyebrow in his direction.

_“Do you make it a habit of claiming a wolfs bed Isanami? This wouldn't be the first time you have claimed my bed for your own._ ” he smirked.

_“Yeah and if I remember correctly you once even slept on the floor for me, so that's also an alternative to sleeping in that closet My Lord._ ”I say stifling a yawn and rolling over to face the wall. I heard him chuckle as he went into the closet and closed the door, as I fell into a much needed dreamless sleep.

 

It was early dawn when I was awaken from my dreamless sleep by an intense flaring of the magic in my hand. I sat up quick and examined the offending appendage. The mark was pulsing in time with my heart but with each pulse the pain worsen. Solas must have done something to it before I woke from the coma the day before, for the mark had not pained me at all until now. I directed my mana into my palm feeding the mark to sooth the pain before I got to my feet and began to put my clothing on. I looked towards the closet door as I tip toed to the exit, and dispelled his privacy ward.

I had something I wanted to do before he woke up so instead of going to the tavern for food I headed to the main Gates of Haven and over to the training field. As I expected Cullen was already up and drilling his men when I arrived, I walked up to him and stood silently beside him with my arms crossed. He didn’t say any thing at first instead he continued to shout orders to the soldiers.

“Hold your shield up.” he dictated before he finally turned to me. “What can I do for you Lady Isanami?”

“I was wondering if I could give that display of my skills now while that old man is still asleep.” I asked smiling at him. He looked at me then back at his soldiers.

“Alright hang on a minute. You there, Go inform Cassandra and Leliana that Lady Isanami is ready for her evaluation, bring them here. As for the rest of you, clear this area, take a break until further notice. he commanded his soldiers before leading me to the middle of the field. “OK who will you be more comfortable sparing against, since you are doing this behind Solas’s back I assume it would be the Herald, he is a mage after all.” he asked grabbing a staff that was leaning against a tent before handing it to me.

“Uh no, how about you? Commander verses commander, eh?” I said as I shifted my weight back and forth from foot to foot, ready for a fight. He looked taken aback by my suggestion.

“I…uh…well if you insist.” He stuttered “Will you not want to dawn any armor before the sparing? You seem a little under dressed for such an activity.” He asked eyeing my attire.

“There is no need for that.” I say as I examine the staff. In the time of Arlathan we did not use staves to direct our magic, though the Evanuris did wield the orbs in times of war that they feed their magic into during times of peace. The staff was heavy and unfamiliar in my hand. Not liking the feel of the weapon I cast aside, much to the commander surprise.

“Do you need a different staff?” I shook my head.

“I don’t need one.”

“There you are I heard you were about to spar someone, so I came for support.” said the happy voice of Jericho from behind me. I turned to face him and was suddenly pulled into a bear hug. I stiffened out of habit before relaxing my muscles and allowing the Herald the hug before he stepped back and smiled at me. “So who is the lucky one?” he asked looking around for my pray.

The commander cleared his throat “That would be me, Herald.” Cullen said with a sigh.

“Well I will be over there with Cassandra and the others. Oh and Lady Isanami please win I’m placing a bet of one gold in your favor. I’ll by you drinks with my winnings.” with a wink he turned and walked over to Varric, Cassandra and Liliana.

I turned to face Cullen and smiled kindly at him. “Don’t go easy on me on me Commander cause I wont.” I warned as my body slide smoothly into the fighting stance I had practiced all those centuries ago. In the quiet of the morning sunrise I summoned my favorite weapons of all time, two wickedly curved ethereal daggers formed from my mana. The commanders eyes widened for a second before nodding his head and drawing his sword.

“Began.”

On his command I fade stepped up to him and lashed out with my right dagger only to be blocked by the blade of his sword. Dancing back from him I sidestepped a controlled swing of his sword before lunging under his out reached arm and dodged behind him tapping my daggers tips to his armor. “One for me.” I whisper in his ear as he sung around and grabbed my left wrist in mid swing and in one fluid motion spun me around and flipped me over his shoulder. I landed on my feet but he held strong to my wrist, that is until I myself became intangible and invisible. There were a few gasps of surprise at the spell even the Commander wore a look of shock on his face as he looked around for me. I fade stepped further away from him just as I solidified my self I dispelled my daggers and formed a bow. Cullen dived to the side ducking and dodging the raining assault of my manifested arrows as he surged forward and threw his full weight in to a thrust of his sword. I jumped back out of reach summoning my daggers once again as he stabbed at me closing the distance between us. I grinned as I leaped into the air and performed the best finisher I could think of. In the air I threw my legs around the Commanders neck bending backwards with my hands to the ground and throwing the man head first to the ground. Landing on my feet once more I saddled Cullen and placed my blades to his neck ending the sparing match.

There was a moment of quiet from the observing crowds before a loud cheering ranged out from the back of the gathered soldiers. The source of the cheering  made his way through the on lookers and offered me his hand. I took it and allowed myself to be pulled up by Jericho, I in turn offered the defeated Commander my hand.

“That was a surprising turn of events.” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.”That move you did, in the end, what was that?”

“That is called the flying scissor kick, I learned it in my travels.” I ignored his raised eyebrow at the word scissors and turned to the Herald.

 “Wow you magic, I’ve never seen anything like it. It was different in a way.” the herald spoke amazement present in his tone. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Our magic flows like water and  made us deadly opponents on the battle field. So I was thinking maybe we should push the trip to the Hinterlands up a day. The sooner you talk to Mother Giselle the sooner we can move to the more pressing issue of closing the breach. Oh and getting horses we definitely need to get horses.” he smiled at me but before he could speak a very pissed off voice of Fen’Harel came from behind me.

“I believe I told you to rest Isanami.”


	5. The Past that Hunts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...um yeah, here. take it.

_I circled the bloody and chaotic battle field, observing the events unfolding  below me. The atmosphere was thick with magic that tingled in the air, a byproduct of thousands of the Elvhen people clashing in magical combat. Many of the Ghilan'him Banal'vhen who had resigned from the Guardians to follow me into Fen’Harel’s war were on the front line, and were tasked with keeping the casualties to a minimal and pushing the noble army back. They were fierce in their advances and though it was day four of this particular battle they showed no signs of fatigue or of slowing down any time soon._

_The same could not be said for the bulk of the army, many were tiring out with their reactions being slow, and their movements sluggish. I watched as a force mage fell to his knees in exhaustion unseeing of a shape shifted mage in the form of a bear rushing towards him. Before I could project to the mage the danger he was in, one of the healers threw a shimmering green barrier over the fallen mage, just as an Arcane Warrior Fade stepped up to the shifter and hacked of the bears head with her manifested sword, showering all near by with a bloody rain._

_I soared higher past the clouds and dipped back down to avoid the fire lobed at me, the opposition seemed set on bringing me down from the sky. I ignored their assaults and continued to glide on the wind that ruffled my feathers as I kept a watchful eye on the battle field. This battle was the same as the rest in this long war, one wrong decision or command and the soldiers under my command, deaths would be on me. With each and every death I witnessed my mana pool would fluctuate with my anger and regret, my mana well seal burned in protest._

“I’m coming down.” _the anxious voice of Fen’Harel projected into my head as he had witnessed yet another death through my eyes. I clicked my tongue against my beak in disapproval._

__“__ No. That is exactly what the noble army wants. You come to the battle field you will serve as nothing but an distraction and I wont be able to ensure your protection in the mist of this chaos. Stay where you are. _” I project back to him. I didn’t want him here, even if it would up the moral of the soldiers it was just too risky. I hear him huff in frustration, muttering unintelligibly under his breath._

__“__ Calm down there will be a time when you will be needed on the field, when your presence will help this war more then hinder it. This is not that time my Lord _ _.”_ I convey back to him trying to calm him. As I was trying to sooth him I saw a young rift mage take an golden manifested arrow to the chest, an arrow that could not ever miss, an arrow that announced the arrival of the bitter and now venomous Goddess of hunt, Andruil._

_My eyes widened in horror as I screeched in warning, a piercing sound falling from my beak. I hurriedly plunged down to the battle field communicating a clearing of my soldiers lest not to crush them with my landing. The renewal of faith in the noble army was almost palpable with the presence of an Evanuris on the field. Andruil had grown crazed over the centuries, and had become obsessed with the sacrifices of slaves using their blood to fuel her power. She was one of the five Evanuris that was active in this war, and had frequently made appearances in the battles, always leaving a trail of blood in her wake. As I landed heavily on to the blood soaked ground I swung my tail knocking many of the enemy soldiers away from the crumpled body of the rift mage. Rearing up on my hind paws I slashed my talons out in front of me, maiming an noble soldier and scattering the rest. Landing back on all fours I stretched my wings to full span and spun around using my wings knock any remaining enemies. I let out an earsplitting screech stamping my front talons on the ground, before lowering my head and charging into the enemy._

_One of the healers erected a barrier around me, negating the damage of the onslaught I had welcomed myself to with my rage filled actions. Blinded with fury that had been boiling under the surface, I grab the mage nearest to me with my talons, resting on my hind paws, and ripped his head from his shoulders. Throwing his limp body aside landed back on all fours, I spread my wings and once more I pounded my talons repeatedly, shaking the ground around me._

_An enemy pyromancer threw up a fire wall in front of me in an attempt to block my path. Shaking my large feathered head I walked through the fire, up to the mage. She looked up at me with fear dominate in her eyes and in fright she stumbled back from me. In her haste she tripped and fell to the ground at my feet._

_“Please, don’t! Shes making me fight, I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t even want to be here! Please have mercy!” the young mage pleaded. I could see the activated villansalin of Andruil faintly glowing upon the young face, she had to be barely a century. So young, so innocent. I hesitated, she was a slave, she was one of the people we were fighting for._

_Before I could make my decision on what to do an arrow pierced the joint between my left wing and my body. The pain was immense and fueled my anger, forgetting my hesitation, I extended my nape and picked up the young girl with her head in my beak. Shaking my head, snapping her neck in the process I threw her headless body over the horde of enemy solders to the feet of her goddess. I dropped the disembodied head from my beak, and let out yet another deafening screech as I prepared to shift from the griffon form._

_I shifted back to my normal elven form, eyes ablaze with fury focused on the arrogant huntress. Wiping the dead mage’s blood from my lips, I let out a war cry and summoned my glowing blue ethereal blades and dashed forward…_

_“No, no, no, I don’t want to see this again. WHY AM I SEEING THIS AGAIN?!”_ I yell out in to the fade as the scene continued to play out before my eyes. I watched in revulsion as my blades cut cleanly through the neck of an unskilled slave, who slid to the ground lifeless with a expression of horror prominent on his face. The next to meet my blades fell just as fast, her screams ranging out across the battle field.

I covered my ears and closed my eyes not wanting to witness the monster I had been in the mist of war, but the sounds and cry's of my victims were loud and hard to ignore. I was used to using brute force for my work on earth, but never did I raise a hand to innocents nor did I ever kill anyone, this scene showed me in a light I never wanted to see myself in again.

_“Please just stop it.Stop it, STOP IT! Please I can’t… I can’t…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”_  I scream as I drop to my knees, weak in my attempts to manipulate the fade, in my attempts to will into existence, a less horrifying scene. My arms fall from my ears to the ground as I dry heave the non-existing contents of my stomach. Hot tears spill from my eyes and roll down my face evidence of my regret and torment.

_“Hush my child, weeping over events of the past has never helped anyone.”_ An deep echoing voice said close to me. I looked up from where I had slumped in my grief, coming face to helmet with a blue semi-solid spirit that was decked out in heavy elven armor. I cleared my throat and wiped the wetness from my face with a sleeve before I spoke.

_“Courage…I…I…”_ I stuttered my throat raw from screaming, closed up on me as I glanced around us at the scene of slaughter I had brought with my own hands. I shake my head and look back down to the ground.

_“Your regret of your actions in battle feast upon your conscious. You must not fall victim to guilt as so many war heroes have done.”_ the spirit of Courage stood up and waved his hand dismissing the scene, which dissolved in an instant. He then turned to me and offered me the same hand. I looked at his hand and scoffed at his words, the sound came out more like a choking noise instead.

_“Hero? More like war criminal or even murderer.”_ I croaked out in a raspy voice as I took his hand and pulled my self up, on shaky legs. _“I killed so many people, in that war. Many of which were innocents…so many innocents.They were forced to fight in that war, while I chose to fight. My hands…they can never be cleansed of their blood.”_ I looked at my hands as if I could see the blood.

_“The process of war is a bloody one, honorable men and women carry out acts of violence they other wise would never do, all for the cause they fight for. Your actions and many others, paved the way to victory, the out come of that war was one for the greater good. War has always been bloody and has always left many questioning their actions. You are not the first to feel guilty of what you have done on the battle field and you wont be the last. That is what war is and war never changes.”_ Courage looked up at the torn sky of the fade, its constant storm clouds danced with lightning, that lit up the spirits helm.

_“That hole in the Veil and the one that created it, will be the next battle in your life. I have no doubt that you will be victorious in this endeavor, you have the tools you need to be successful. But if you can not conquer your emotions of past events and put them behind you, you will tear yourself apart, and be your own down fall way before you complete your task.”_ I looked at him then to the sky but stayed silent unsure of what to say. We stood quietly looking up at the violent sky for a few minuets.

_“You know, I was on the field that day, lending courage to those who needed it, as a favor to the wolf. Were you see a blood lusting monster, I saw a courageous leader, commanding her armies with constant awareness and care for her soldiers safety. A fearless commander whose anger boiled at the sight of her men losing their lives and used that anger to fight harder so that their deaths were not in vain. That is not who stands in front of me today, that strong woman of the past would not be pleased with her present self wallowing in self pity.”_ the spirit looked down at me and gently patted me on the back before he reached out and touched my forehead. _“The sun has risen and so shall you, call upon me any time my friend.”_

 

 

I sat up fast shivering in my bedroll, stiff from a night spent on the hard ground. I wiped the sweat from my brow and shake my head trying to ride myself of the battle scene that still echoed in my mind. The roof of the tent glowed from the early morning sun beaming down on it, allowing me to see everything in the tent clearly. There was a sound of a throat being cleared to my left across the tent. I looked over and saw Solas staring at me with concern. I started to say something but my stomach heaved and my hands flew to my mouth. Jumping up out of the bedroll to my feet I dashed to the tents opening.

_“Izanami..!”_ I hear him call out as I push past the tent flaps and fade stepped towards the woods behind the camp. Reaching out for a tree I placed a hand on it for support as I let lose the contents of my stomach my eyes watering in the process. As I heaved last nights camp dinner I hear the tell tell sounds of some one approaching me. When there was nothing left to let out I wiped my mouth and turned to face the camp only to be blocked by him.

_“Are you okay, are you sick?”_ Solas asked, his voice gentile and full of concern that was also apparent in his feature. I shook my head, as he took a step towards me in an attempt to comfort me.

_“Please…Don’t…”_ I warn with a broken voice, holding up my hands to stop him. He opened his mouth as if to press the issue but was interrupted and shoved to the side.

“Aww give her some space Chuckles.” Varric said as he push pass Solas and came into view. He walked up to me and offered me a flask. “Wow Blue, you look pale. Here drink this, it should bring some color back to you.” I took the flask nodding my head in thanks, he gave me a wink and walked back to the camp.I took a sip of the contents wincing at the strong taste of the dwarven ale, I then walked past Solas avoiding his questioning gaze.

 

It was day four of the trip to the Hinterlands and we were to reach the base camp some time after noon. It had been a slow uneventful trek only to be made unbearable by the restless nights in which I was hunted by the same dream, each and every time I closed my eyes. Somehow Solas had convinced Cassandra to share the tent with Varric and conveniently ‘lost’ my personal tent, so I was forced to share the tent with him. He had a habit of waking up before me, which made it hard to hide my reactions to my constant nightmare when I awoke.

I had a feeling Solas had watched me sleep the night before, due to his constant attempts to catch my eyes the rest of the day as we finished the last leg of our trip to the base camp in the Hinterlands. _When we get there I’m totally gonna ask Harding for a spare tent._ I think to my self, as I picked up my pace to ignoring his stare yet again.

“You alright Izanami? I saw you this morning.” Jericho asked giving me a wayside glance as I came up beside him.

“I had a bad dream.” I say curtly leaving it at that with a shrug of my shoulders. He nodded his head but didn’t push for more. I liked that about the Herald, he wasn’t pushy, he knew when to let things be.

‘So do you have any warnings for me, on this meeting with Mother Gisellie?”

“Not much to it really, shes just going to suggest you speak to the clerics in Val Royeaux. Other then that while we are here we should talk to horse master Dennet, I already gave Cullen the locations of were to place the watchtowers. So all we have to do is take care of the pack of wolves that have been terrorizing the farm workers.”

“Oh yeah it would be great not to have to walk everywhere. I swear if we have to walk to Val Royeaux I might die, and leave closing the breach to you.” He chuckled and put his arm around my shoulders. I smiled at his joke and allowed him his physical contact. I had grown used to the Heralds touchy ways, and had learned that it was just his way of interacting with the those of the inner circle.

“I do have a request, though. If we can save at lest one of the wolves I would like to take it with us back to Haven.”

“Sure, sure, if that's what you want. But why would you want a wild wolf? If its a pet you want I’m sure we could get you a Mabari, I could ask Cullen about it, if you want me to.” I shake my head warmed by his offer.

“I’ve always had an affinity for wolves and griffons. It will be more of a kinship then a pet and master relationship.” I answered, he stopped walking and gaped at me.

“You’ve seen griffons before? What are they like?” He asked overly excited before he continued walking.  

“Yeah…I spent a few years living with the Griffons in the mountains that run through what is now the Tevinter Imperium. I studied them and learn much from the intelligent and noble creatures. Its a shame that there are only thirteen left in the whole of Thedas.” I say sorrowfully. Sadden by the almost extinction of such beautiful creatures.

“I’m sorry, are you saying that there are Griffons still in existence?” It was Solas who asked the question, from close behind me. I nodded my head not looking back at him.

“Yeah their eggs will be found under a time suspension ward in about a year, in 9:42 dragon by a mage.” I say not really thinking about what I was saying. Suddenly the who crew stopped and looked to me.

“Wait you mean there are Griffon eggs out there somewhere just waiting to be found? Why don’t we go get them, we could use them as leverage and even use them to raise funds for the Inquisition.” I looked at the seeker who had spoken for the first time since we broke camp. She was a formidable presence with her seeker armor reflecting the rays of the late morning sun. The scar on her face didn’t make her less beautiful, if anything it added character to her strong features. I was about to answer her when Solas answered with an angry scowl on his lips.

“Of course the first thing you people would think of is personal gain when you hear there are Griffons still in Thades. It was you Humans as the Gray Wardens who drove them into extinction in the first place. Have you no…”

_“Calm your self! You are forgetting your role here my lord.”_ I say sternly in elven, trying to stop him from saying too much.

_“Surly you have no intentions of telling them the location of these egg? They are greedy and only seek personal gain.”_ he huffed as he moved closer to me. I shake my head and look to the others who were watching the exchange.

_“Of course not, as I said the eggs will be found by a mage, and if it means anything to you it will be an elven mage."_ His eyes widened in surprised and he made to speak again but I shook my head _“That is all you will get from me at this moment.”_ I warn before I turned to the others.

“Look I’m not giving up the location of the eggs.” Cassandra moved to object but Jericho held up his hand to stop her.

“Peace Cassandra, If Izanami does not want to tell us there must be a good reason.Right?’ he directed the last part to me emphasizing the question with an raised eyebrow.

“The eggs are safe where they are. They will hatch the moment the time suspending ward drops, and Haven isn't the safest place for baby Griffons. Besides Solas is right, even if the Inquisition didn’t use the Griffons for political gain the temptation might be too strong for others, and could make us at Haven a target for the greedy.” I answer as I continued walking.

“See that makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it Cassandra?” she made no sound only nodded her head and followed Jericho as he too began to walk again.

I looked behind me and could see Solas nodding his head in agreement, hes movement stopped me. I waited for him to catch up and just as he passed me I burst into laughter. He stopped and looked at me in question.

“Are you…haha…Are you growing your hair out?” I asked almost unable to get the question out between fits of giggles. His face went red as he raised a hand to run his fingers thru what was a little more then peach fuzz.

“I…yes I am. To be honest I am tired off you calling me egg.” he huffed before he continued moving.

“You know you can speed the growth right?” I say keeping instep with him.

“Of course I know this. If you are feeling better now how about you tell me whats been bothering you instead of focusing on my hair?” he says slyly, trying to use my split second of a good mood to pry personal information from me. Instantly my mood darkened and the smile on my face morphed into a frown.

“No.” I say simply, speeding up and leaving him behind.

 

 

“You were right, she wants us to go to Val Royeaux and appeal to them and give them reason to doubt their condemnation of the Inquisition.” Jericho said as he approached us after his meeting with the Revered Mother.

“Yeah well she has a point. Any ways I talked to the towns people, they had a few request. There is a man here who wife is sick, he wants us to retrieve a potion from his son who is with the cult that is holed up in a castle near the Winterwatch Tower. Also these people don’t have any supplies to survive the coming winter so I had Recruit Whittle mark the map with the location of some apostates supply caches. Oh and the man named Corporal Val wanted to speak with you. So you ready to get going?” I asked standing up from where I sat brushing myself off before handing him the map.

The Herald took the map and reviewed it before handing it to Cassandra who had just came back from speaking to the refugees herself.

“I spoke with a hunter who said that there is not enough food for these people, so on our way to the horse master we should collect some ram meat and any other meat if we come across any wild life.” she said as she placed the map in her pack .

“Of course, we will get all these things done. The people here are in a sorry state we can’t leave the like this in good conscious. I will go speak to this Corporal Val first. Oh yeah Mother Giselle wanted to speak with you, Isanami.”

“Wait what? Why?” I asked caught off guard. I didn’t want to speak to the lady, my thoughts on her were not exactly kind. She came off slimy in the game in the way she wanted to handle Dorian presence in the Inquisition.

The Herald shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know she just claimed that she had heard so much about you and wanted to meet you herself. We could just rush out of here and ignore her request if you want. I’m not above that.” He offered with a mischievous grin on his face. There was a sound of disgust and disapproval from Cassandra, who crossed her arms as she spoke.

“Herald that is not appropriate behavior. You can’t just ignore the Mothers request, she might be able to offer more information by speaking with the Protector.”

“Ugh please stop calling me that I have a name you know. I don’t go around calling you Seeker.” I say stifling a yawn annoyed by the stupid tittle. I was so tired from lack of restful sleep that my fuse was short, I felt as if any thing could set me off.

“I…Your right. I apologize Isanami.”

“Its alright. Cassandra is right though, it will be rude to ignore the mothers request after she has gone out of her way to help us. I’ll go speak to her. I will meet you at the cave entrance when I am done. Solas will you come with me?” Solas nodded his head and stood straight from the wall he had been leaning on and came to my side. I nodded to Jericho he gave me a slight wave as he Cassandra and Varric turned to meet Corporal Val.

 

When we got to where the Revered Mother was to be, she wasn’t there. Instead in  her place was a young sister tending to the wounds of a deathly pale man who lay on a cot softly moaning in pain.

“Excuse me Sister I’m looking for Mother Giselle.” I say quietly not wanting to disturb the injured man. The sister looked up from her task and pointed to a small cabin just a few feet away, and with out speaking turned back to her work. I said my thanks and turn to walk to the cabin. I knocked on the worn wooden door as I announced my arrival.

“Mother Giselle, its me Isanami. The Herald said that you wanted to speak to me?” there was a slight pause then the door was slowly opened by an older woman who was wearing the full chantry garb. She smiled kindly to me as she waved her hand in an invitation for me to enter.

“Oh yes come on in my child.” she said in a soft soothing voice, moving back and letting us in. She eyed Solas for a second before she closed the door behind him.

“I have heard so much about the ancient elf that has been sent by the Maker to guide the Herald. Tell me do believe in the Maker?” she asked getting right to the point as she sat down in the chair that was placed at a cluttered desk.

I shrug my shoulders already bored of this conversation, “As you have said your self I am ancient, I have been tasked at protecting those that my people see as their gods. Never in all my years have I come across the one you call the Maker, so I have trouble believing in a being I have yet to meet.”

“Ah yes well you are in a unique position, being from a time before Andrata and a seer at that. The Inquisition look to you for guidance, the things you may say will hold weight to those whose faith is already shaken and could potentially push them away from the Maker. Perhaps you should familiarize your self with the chant lest you say anything that could be seen as an insult to the faithful around you.” she said slowly as she crossed her hands on her lap. I raised an eyebrow at her, as I read between the lines of what she said. The hidden message was so clear, I snorted at her boldness.

“You are afraid that I might know something about the events that allowed the chantry to flourish.That I might let slip information that would riddle the church a complete lie, information that has been kept from the public's ears. Maybe even using said information to steer the Inquisition away from the chantry. Oh you have no need to worry, I have no plans of shattering the faith of thousands.” I say cockily my smile growing as I spoke. The sister looked shocked that I knew what she was trying to accomplish. I turned for the door cutting the meeting short,before I continued.

“If we are done here, the Herald is waiting for me.” she nodded her head but stayed silent with the look of disapproval on her face.

 

 

I started to lead Solas away from the cabin through the small village to cave entrance. _“My Lord there is something I have to ask of you.”_ I say switching to elven, not wanting to be over heard.   

_“Really? What is is?”_ he seemed surprised at my sudden striking of a conversation. 

_“I…I was wandering if you could um well…could you make me some dreamless sleep potions?”_ I stammer out, loathed to ask him for anything that would give him reason to question me. He stopped walking and grabbed my arm forcing me to do the same.

_“You are a somniari, the potion will have devastating side effects on you. But you know this and yet you still ask for it. What is troubling you so in your sleep that you would take such a risk?”_ he turned me around to look at him, his concerned eyes searching my face for something.

Of course he would want to know, and once again he was right. I hated it when he was right. The potion I was asking for had been used on slave dreamers in the time of Arlathan in a way to mute their ability to reach the fade in their sleep. If used incorrectly or too many times the potion could in some cases cut the dreamer off from the fade completely rendering the dreamer to something almost a kin to tranquil. I shrug his hands off my shoulders and advert my gaze from his, ashamed but still desperate.

_“I cant control my dreams for some reason. Instead all I see is…”_ I don’t finish instead I choke up and attempting to blink away the tears that had begun to blur my vision.

_“You see what? Tell me.”_ he says the last part so softly almost in a hush whisper as he closed the distance between us and gently lift my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes once more. I shake my head as the tears began to roll down my cheeks, I didn’t want him to see me this low, to see me cry.

“ _Ah Isanami…There are different ways to go about combating unwanted dreams. Let us try those first if all else fail I will think about giving you the potion. First I would like to visit you in the fade to monitor your dreams. Perhaps I could find out why you are not able to control your dreams. I could dispel the unwanted ones for you.”_ I shook my head again not wanting him to see my dreams, He clicked his tongue at my disagreement.

_“If you want my help you will have to trust me. I must be able to see your dreams in order to figure out whats blocking your dreaming capabilities. But I need your permission. Let me help you_ lethallan.” he seemed sincere in wanting to help me. 

I knew this would be the easier way to go about this, and I really needed the help but I was still hesitant. To give another dreamer the permission to enter your dreams, gave that person a sort of power over what you saw in the fade. They could influence not only what you saw but also what you felt, giving the wrong person that permission could allow them to manipulate you, it was all up to how strong they were as a somniari. To give Fen’Harel the strongest of any somniari that kind of power over my dreams sounded worse then being haunted by my nightmares. And yet… I gave up and nodded my agreement.

_“Fine you may come to me in the Fade, but please don’t…just don’t try anything.”_ I warned as I moved away from him and waited for him to agree.

_“I wouldn’t think of it. Here wipe your face.”_ he handed me a handkerchief he had pulled from his pack. As I wiped my eyes he placed his hand on my back and guided me to the cave where we were to meet up with the rest of the group.


	6. There was a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Isanami is hiding more then she is letting on. There was a time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW maybe (shrug) i don't know. sorry for the wait, I saw a comment about how slow things were moving didn't understand the meaning. so i made it move slower and faster at the same time, in a way. i apologize for the last part if its not tasteful.
> 
> If it is in "italics" it is elven

“So Blue why are we bringing a wild wolf back to Haven with us?” Varric asked as he walked up beside me.I looked down at my dwarven friend, we had grown close over the month we had spent bringing order back to the Hinterlands. He was kind and seemed to genuinely care about the whole group, always joking and keeping our minds off of the darkness of our situation with stories of his adventures with Hawke.

“He’s not just any wolf Varric, he’s an alpha wolf and he is gonna help me with training along with a few other things.” I reached down and rubbed the wolfs great head, his name was Frost, probably on the account of his coat being as white as a halla. He was also surprisingly genital, despite his pack having been killed. He was the only one of his pack that had not succumbed to the envy demons control. We had found him at the mouth of the cave howling to his pack trying to encourage his pack to break free of the demon.

“You know this reminds me of the time Blondie found this rabid cat while we were fighting bandits in low town. He got all excited and tried to convince Hawke that he could nurse the cat back to health. Heh he would have convinced us all if the cat had not pounced on him and began scratching him. It took us a good five minuets to pry the cat off of Blondie even then he begged Hawked to let him keep it.” Varric laughed a hefty laugh as he speed up to catch up with Jericho.

“Wait what happened to the cat, did Anders get to keep it?” I yelled out after him.

“Gosh no, the cat ran off before Blondie and Daisy could catch it. But between you and I, I think Hawke levitated the cat to the roof of one of the huts.” he chuckled and winked at me as he turned back to the Herald.

_“How are you planning on getting the halla back to the way Ghilan’nain created them?”_

__“_ Huh what?” _I was caught off guard by Solas coming up beside me. His beautiful auburn hair had grown back, and hung long and heavy down his back. It looked almost fiery Red under the midday sun. Though he had not shaved the sides like in the time of Arlathan he almost looked as he once was. I had a feeling his hair added to his cockiness and confidence, because everything about his humble persona had changed, including his way of walking, instead of hunched he stood tall and proud, like the brat prince from long ago.

 _“You convinced the horse master to work for the Inquisition by telling him you would get him a few war halla. How are you going to get war halla, the halla are not what they used to be.”_ I looked at him and nodded

_“Yeah I know, But seeing as magic is what created them, the lack of magic must be stunting their growth.”_

“ _So what is your plan?”_ he moved a little closer as he spoke. He had been visiting me in the fade almost nightly, though we had not found the source to why I could not control my dreams completely, he had helped me gain some small power over what I saw when I slept. The dreams that were too stubborn for me to dismiss he would dispel for me, this meant he saw some of my worse memories. I guess this encouraged him to stay by my side during my waking hours also, although he didn’t hover as much as before.

 _“Well I already requested that two halla be brought to Haven for me so they should be there by the time we return from Val Royeaux . As for what I’m going to do with them I’m not really sure yet.”_ I say as I began to speed up. We were heading to where Solas knew of a artifact that would strengthen the veil, or at lest that's what he told the Herald, but I knew different. We were coming up on the cave where the artifact was from the East road. Outside the cave entrance was a dalish elf fighting off a few demons. I stop short knowing where this was going and turned away wanting to avoid the conflict that was coming.

“Where you going Isanami?”Solas asked as he stopped and turned to me.

"I was going to go hunt with Frost while you all handle this, I mean I don’t need to be here for this.” Solas looked over at me in question but it was the Herald who spoke.

“I don’t think it would be a good ideal for any of us to go anywhere alone. Not that I don’t think you can handle what ever comes at you.” he said quickly holding up his hands in defense when I glared at him. “I'm just saying we should stick to gather. Come on lets help that Elven mage out.” the team fanned out and surrounded the demons as Cassandra roared a war cry taunting them. Solas threw out a barrier over us ad I fade stepped up behind one of the demons and sank my daggers in its back black blood and ichor spewed onto my hands. It screeched in pain, a lowed earsplitting sound that pierced the air as it died and its essence floated and dissolving into the air above me. I was wiping the blood of my hands when Jericho and Cassandra finished up the other demon.

When all was done we turned to the lone elven mage who was pulling the blade of her staff out of the head of a screech demon. “Peace, I am no danger to you. My name is Mihris, by your weapons, I see you come ready for battle. Perhaps we face a common enemy in these demon’s?” she said as she pulled a rag out of a pocket and began to clean the staff blade.

“Are you fighting these demons on your own?” Jericho asked as he moved closer to her.

“Fighting the demons is pointless, there will always be more, and I have no means of closing the rifts. But I have heard of Eleven artifacts that measure the veil, they may tell us where new rifts will appear. I was not expecting so many demons however. I believe one of the artifacts is nearby. Can you help me reach it?”

Jericho glanced over his shoulder to Cassandra and Solas who both nodded their heads. “It sounds worth investigating.” he answered as he looked back to Mihris.

“Thank you, it shouldn’t be too much further ahead.” she said as she turned and began to lead us to the cave where the artifact was located. “Thank you for joining me, I do not think I could have done this alone.”

“How did you come to be here?” Jericho questioned falling in step with her. The group fallowed close behind them, with me taking up the rear, not caring about what was being said.

‘I was…am…First to clan Virnehn, I left in service of my clan and saw that great tear in the veil, on my journey. I know more of magic and the veil then any shemlin, so I hope to help.”Mirhis claimed. I snorted at her lies and declaration, she stopped and turned to eye me suspiciously as Solas also looked over his shoulder at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Ma Harel Da’lin.” he said calmly looking back at Mihris.

“I…we should keep moving.” she said hesitantly as she continued walking. We all walked in silence to the mouth of the cave which was barred by fallen pillars. Mihris walked up to the rubble at the caves mouth and knelt down to inspect it. “We will need focused magical energy to get by.” she said, standing up and dusting off her knees. She turned and pointed at me and Solas “One of you flat ears, can you manage it?” and just as I knew it would happen my mana snapped to attention along with my anger and began to over flow.

“Ma Nuvenin Da’lin.” Solas answered moving towards the cave. I reached out my arm in front of him, stopping him.

“No.” I said to him when he gave me a look of question. I walked up to Mirhis my mana flaring around me charging the air with electricity. “Why do you assume we are flat ears?” I asked her in a voice voided of all emotions other then hatred and anger as I came to a stop right in front of her.

“I..I…just… well you two don’t have…” she stuttered, taking a fumbling step back but I wouldn't allow the space between us.

“Isanami…She cant possible have know that you are an ancient elven warrior. She probably didn’t mean any disrespect” I hear Jericho say nervously from behind me, but I ignore him.

“What? That we don’t have Vallaslins, the marking of slaves on our faces? Is that why?” she nodded her head shakenly but did something I didn’t expect. She stood up straighter and looked me in the eye with boldness.

“Yes, I…did assume that. Only the dalish keep to the old ways, and you calling them slave markings only shows how little you know of your people.”

“Oh, I know a lot about The People, I know that you wear the markings of June on your face. I know he was not a nice person, I also know that he smiled and laughed gleefully during the live sacrificial ceremonies that were held in his presence daily. Where people like you would have had your blood writings activated, and commanded to walk up to the alter and slit your own wrist against you will ,just so your blood could fuel his power.” I felt a hand wrap around my upper arm.

 _“I know she angered you, but..”_ I looked at Solas and cut him off with an animalistic snarl.

 _“She is a clueless liar.”_ I say snatching my arm from his grasp grabbing Mihris by the chain mail neck of her light armor as I looked back to her.

“You keep to the old ways huh? I don’t remember allowing a demon inside me. Was it the old way, that made you side with Gaspard against Briala and Felassan, two of your own people who were trying to make Orlais better for the ones you call flat ear? You walked beside Felassan and couldn’t even tell he was from the time of Arlathan, but you know so much right? You and the dalish are just as clueless and misguided as those in the city!” as I spoke I saw it all play out, Mihris using her magic to dampen the area to conceal Lienne's interference and to prevent Felassan from using his magic to assist Ser Michel de Chevin.

“Shes possessed?” Cassandra asked from behind me, I could hear the sound of her sword leaving its sheath.

‘How do you… you know all this?” Mirhis asked fear finally making an appearance in her eyes.

I shook the vision of the past from my head before I spoke, “I know a lot of things, things like you don’t even have a clan to be first of. Or the fact that the demon Ishmeal left the kids of the clan alive. Now why are you not with those kids?” I didn’t get my answer due to Solas grabbing my arm again and successfully turning me around to face him, I let go of Mhiris in the process.

 _“You need to calm down. Your mana is out of control, Take your wolf and go for a walk. I will come get you when this is over, Now Go.”_ I felt the command in his words, and in his sigel on my back, but I didn’t fight his will. Instead I did as he commanded , I looked back at Mihris and growled before I turned and walked away from the cave entrance with Frost at my heel.

 

 

 

I had just finished skinning and cleaning a ram and a few fennec Frost and I had gathered on our hunt when I felt Solas approaching me. The tingle in his sigil on my back grew more noticeable as he drew closer. I wiped my hands clean on a rag and threw a skinned fennec to Frost as a reward for the hunt. I heard Solas come to a stop behind me, but he said nothing.

“What? Your going lecture me on how I was wrong to go off on her?” I grumbled as I stand and turn to face him. He shook his head and looked at the skinned game laying on the ground around me.

 _“No, I understand how she set you off. I did my best smoothing things over with the Herald.”_ he answered in our native tongue as he began to pick up the prepared fennecs. _“Though I do believe you could have tried to handled it better, letting your mana overflow like that could get someone hurt. But I think it was a long time coming since I have yet to see you do any of the preventive exercises.”_ he walked back in front of me and handed me the smaller game.

 _ _“_ How would I explain what I was doing? I rather not do anything that would make them question me.” _he nodded his head in agreement as he held his hand out to me once again to hand me something.

 _“Here, take this.”_ I looked to his hand and saw that he was holding some sort of golden necklace. The chain was thin and delicate and held a diamond shaped pendent with an emerald jewel sat in the middle.

 _“What is that for?Why are you giving it to me?”_ I asked eyeing the necklace suspiciously.

_“Its an amulet of power, it will strengthen your spells and lower the mana cost. We found it in the cave, I want you to have it.”_

_“I don’t need it, you keep it. Besides I rarely run low on mana so there is no need to lower my spell cost.”_ I held my hands up refusing the offer. He ignored me and silently walked around me stopping at my back standing so close. I stiffened as his hands came up on ether side of my head from behind.

 _“You never could accept my gifts gracefully, every time I give you something you try to refuse. Why is it so hard for you to take what I have to offer?”_ He whispered in my ear his hot breath brushing against my skin, as he pushed my hair aside to claps the necklace around my neck. He wasn’t talking about gifts any more and I knew it.

 _“My lord…in the time of The People others had plotted my demise thanks to your many gifts. And what you speak of, would be inappropriate, you were and still is an Evanuris and I, your guard.”_  I say turning to face him as I took a step back putting distance between us. He had a cocky smirk on his lips as he closed the space between us, ignoring my obvious discomfort.

 _“Is inappropriateness the only thing that stands between us Isanami? We have been over this before you know, I have never been one to care about social status. And oh how I would love to see you be ‘inappropriate’ with me, once again.”_ his voice dropped an octave as he gently grabbed my chin and tugged me to him. I flinched at the electric tingle in his touch and his mention of something I would rather forget all together. He dipped his face to mine and looked into my eyes. He was so close, the smell of pine and honeysuckle filled my nostrils. I wanted to move away from him, I wanted to tell him to leave me alone…but did I really? Frost had stood up from his snack and came to my side alerted by my irritation and confusion. He was growling in warning to Solas, who understood but ignored him.

I looked Solas in his silver blue eyes with a shiver running down my spin. I moistened my lips out of nervous habit, he smirk grew at the action. __“_ I…My Lord…we shouldn’t…can’t…”_ there was a loud throat clearing behind me from the trees. I jumped away from Solas, immediately summoning a dagger, my eyes searching the trees for a threat.

“Whoa its just me.” Jericho said holding his hands up in surrender as he came into view his eyes jumping from me to Solas. “We set up camp, but due to that bear destroying the third tent we only have two tents for tonight. Which means Isanami and Cassandra will be sharing the tent. You are with me and Varric, Solas. Is that dinner?” he asked pointing to the skinned ram on the ground.

“Yeah and these too.” I answer holding up the fennecs. He nodded walking to the ram and hefting it onto his shoulder.

“Wow you should do the hunting more often. We eat like kings tonight!” he joked, giving off a hearty laugh.

 

 

 

It was chilly and pass midnight when Cassandra came to relieve me of my watch duty. The sky was a dark blue and sprinkled with a multitude of stars, it was beautiful and peaceful. As I sat there petting Frosts great head in my lap I looked up at the sky and found myself thinking about my time on earth and wondered if was I looking at the same stars just from a different angle. I thought about my adoptive parents and how hurt they might have been when I disappeared. I hadn’t had time to think about my human life with all my memories being unlocked and flooding my mind. I missed my human life it was simpler, I didn’t have to worry about a whole world crumbling down around me.

“Isanami your watch is up. You look worried what’s on your mind?” Cassandra asked as she came froward through the darkness. She took a seat beside me and handed me a mug of spiced tea. The Seeker had taken longer then the others to warm up to me, but I didn’t mind, I knew of her cautious ways. “Oh nothing, just…things.” I answered taking a sip of the hot tea.

“Its non of my business but does it have something to do with Solas?” she  asked shocking me with the amount of concern she was showing.

“What? No, why would you think that?”

“When you two came back there seemed to be something between you. You seemed to be unable to get away from him fast enough.” she fidgeted beside me and pulled a book from her bag when she thought I wasn’t looking.

“No its not Solas, I was just thinking about my family. I miss them so much. I would give anything to see them again.” I stood up ready to get some sleep.Frost got up and stretched before sitting on his hind legs and waited for me to head to the tent.

“Yes I understand what you are feeling. We all have family we would trade anything to see once again.” she said her eyes looking up at the stars I had just been looking to. I knew she was thinking of her brother, they had been really close. Suddenly I felt bad for causing her to think of her losses.

“Yeah but the strong must move on and use our losses as strength to carry on. Oh by the way did you know Varric is almost done with the transcript for the next Swards and Shields. Maybe if you ask nicely…” she gasped and turned a bright shade of red.

“I could never…I don’t read his books…” she sputtered a denial, despite holding said book in hand.

I chuckled at her failed attempt and placed a finger to my temple, “Oh yeah you do, you cant lie to me. I know things.”

 

 

I entered the fade as soon as my head hit the pillow of my bead roll, and of course I was greeted with a dark memory on replay. This time it was of my human death, I guess me thinking about my time on earth brought this memory to surface. I stood with my back against the dungeons grimy walls as I witnessed my torture play out, in the dim light I watched as one of my assailants sliced off my pinky on my right hand. My screams echoed off the walls and for a second I could actually feel the pain in my hand.

I looked down at my hand and flexed it as I tried to will into existence a different scene. It didn’t work of course, Solas still hadn't found out why I was having so much trouble controlling my dreams. With nothing else to do I watched as my hair was shorned and as my torturer dragged a heated crow bar across my abdomen. There was a slight pulse of magic outside of the barriers I had erected around myself in the fade, a knock of sorts announcing Solas arrival.

I weakened the barrier allowing him entrance, without moving from my place against the wall. He strolled in with an air of confidence about him decked out in a royal blue tunic with gold triming on the ends of the bell sleeves. It was an outfit that would not have been out of place at one of Mythals many balls. I looked down at my outfit feeling a little under dressed, clothed in a plain silver and white sun dress that I had once own in the other world.

As he approached me he looked around us and frowned at the scene playing out before us, a horror scene I was watching unfazed, for I had seen it many times now.

 _“What is this about?”_ he asked finally reaching me.

I shrugged not really wanting to talk about it _“It is my death in the other world, this is just the start of it. It lasted for three days before I actually died.”_ I answer just as another finger was chopped off. My past self screams punctuating my response. He fell silent for a moment and watched with me.

 _“What is that thing he is holding?”_ He was referring to the hand held drill my killer had just picked up from the table.

 _“Its a drill, he’s going to use it to drill a hole into my leg.”_ the lack of emotions in my voice as I said it would have freaked even me out if I had not been force to watch this scene so many times before.

 _“Ok, how about a change of scene?”_  he asked, waving his hand, dismissing the memory and summoning another.

Suddenly we were in a ball room, Mythals winter palace’s ball room to be exact. It had a tall glass dome ceiling that showed the soft falling patterns of snow flurries and silver, gold and royal blue drapes hung along the junctures of the walls and ceiling. It had been one of my favorite places in Arlathan, no matter the season, the glass dome always showed something of beauty. It was a magnificent piece of Eleven architecture, I found myself wondering if it somehow survived the construct of the veil and the test of time. I doubt it.

Solas’s outfit now made sense and matched the decor of the ball room perfectly, with his auburn hair being his only accessory. He move to stand in front of me and offered me his hand as he swept low into a bow. Suddenly music from our time began to softly play in the background, as slow light tempo with just a small bit of heavy notes.

 _“Isanami, dance with me.”_ he said coming up out of the bow. His eyes pierced me and I couldn’t think of a reason to deny him. I nodded and placed my hand into his, the tingle of electricity was ever present in his touch. I had always thought it was due to his close proximity to his sigil on my back.

He pulled me closer and placed his other hand on my lower back as he began to lead me in a more elegant but complex dance with many twist and turns.

 _“Do you miss this? _”__ He asked twirling me around before pulling me back to him.

I snort at the question _“Miss what? The constant balls, the never ending ass kissing that happen at them? Or the annoying leering from the greedy and slimy suitors that I attracted, all who ether just wanted the social standing boost of my family name, or to quote on quote ‘possess me and show me my place’?”_

 _“I would never try to own you or force you to be what you don’t want to be. But I was talking about our world, our people, our way of living.”_ we swayed to the simple tune.

 _“I don’t know, some of it yes. But there were things I don’t miss at all.”_ I answered not really excited with the subject he was choosing to talk about.

 _“Like what?”_ he placed both hands on my hips lifting me into the air and spun us around before placingme back on the ground.

 _“Well our social system was completely rigged. Anyone who was not of any use to the Evanuris, wasn’t good looking or wasn’t already in good social standings, was considered the scum of our society. Everything we upperclassmen enjoyed was created on the backs of slaves or the lower class, people who were denied the credit or even a chance to enjoy it themselves. And every event was just a stage for pissing matches and ass kissing grand stands.”_ He shook his head at my response leading us into a circle around the ball room.

_“There were many great things about our people Isanami. What about the things we achieved, like providing food for all of those of Arlathan. No one ever went hungry. Or the amazing architectural feats we achieved, Junes floating castle was impressive but I have to admit Andruil’s hunting arena was  stunning. Do you not remember these astonishing feats?”_

_“Junes floating castles was fueled by the blood of slaves sacrificed daily and Andruil hunted her devoted nobles slaves and at one time even me in that horrible arena of hers. Perhaps we remember two completely different Arlathans.”_ his face darkened but he continued to lead our dance.

__“_ What about us?” _

I looked at him not liking where this was going. _ _“_ What about us?” _I repeated back at him. The change in his mood was almost instant as he stopped leading us, gone was the charmer, replaced with an angry storm of a man.

 _“You seem to remember everything except what we had and everything we did.”_ his anger was present in his usually calm tone. _“I have been waiting for you to remember, but it seems to me that you are purposely trying to forget everything we gone through. You appear to have forgotten that there was a time…”_

 _“Maybe I’m not ready to remember that. Perhaps I don’t need to remember it, what if I don’t want to remember everything?”_ I whispered cutting him off as I tried to back away from him but he held my wrist tightly preventing me from doing so.

    _“I want you to remember, I need you to remember. Everything. Perhaps you require assistance in doing so.”_  He growled pulling me to him roughly turned me around, putting my back to his chest and holding my arm behind me to keep me in place.

Before my eyes the ball room morphed into a room I knew so well. I shut my eyes and clenched my jaw refusing to witness the only activity we ever carried out in the master suit of Tarasyl'an Te'las.

My past self’s girly giggles reached my ears along with soft sighs and moans as his past self whispered promises of pleasure to her.

_‘Ma’fen please don’t make me wait’ I had moaned to him._

_‘What of the lack of honer in bedding me, Isanami?’ he had teased._

_‘Oh Fen there is no honer in bedding you, only pleasure.’ I had teased back._

_“Please my lord don’t make me…”_ I begged trying to tune out the noises of our past love making.

 _“Open your eyes Isanami, and keep them open.”_ he commanded ignoring my plea. His sigil burned with the command and in my state of sudden fear I could not fight off his will. My eyes flew open in time to see the past Fen’Harel pull the past Isanami into a deep kiss as he ran a hand through her long blue hair.

 _“You see Isanami, there was a time when you begged me for more and to never stop.”_ The present Fen’Harel whispered roughly into my ear. _“There was a time when your body responded to my touch like water to the wind. There was a time when You. Were .Mine”_ his last words were emphasized by his past self's hip movements.

Abruptly I felt hot and my throat was parched, I felt my breath quicken. Suddenly I felt every touch his past self placed onto my past self, from the hand he had on her thigh to the hand pulling her hair. I could even feel the length of him moving inside me, my knees almost buckling under the surprise sensation. I felt my fingers on his back, my lips on his, it was too much.

I knew he was making me feel it, he had the power to do so, power I had given him from the first time I allowed him into my dreams. He was manipulating what I felt and what my senses picked up.

 _“You feel that? That is what you were refusing to remember. What you see here is what you were trying to deny. But rest assure this happened many times. You seemed to have forgotten that you were more then my Commander and guard.”_ He let go of my arm allowing me to sink to my knees, but continued the sensory overload that he was putting me through.

 _ _“_ Not only did you avoid me after the war, you had planned to go into uthenera  without telling me. For centuries I had wondered what had ran you off, why you had chosen to leave like you did? I knew the war had taken a toll on you but I thought I was enough to…” _he walked around me and stood tall in front of me the scene dissolving behind him along with the phantom sensations.

 _“You know I got my answer after I constructed the veil. After everything our People built came crumbling down around me I searched for things that survived. Almost nothing of importance survived the cut off from the fade, do you want to know of one of the few things that did?”_ I shook my head, I already knew it was my recordings of memories and visions I had left to the Vir Dirthara. I knew because I placed a preservation ward upon it so that when the veil came up it would survive.

He saw that I already knew and gave a sad chuckle shaking his head __“_ That’s right your entry in the Vir Dirthara endured the cut from the fade. And you knew everything! You knew what I was going to do , you knew what would be the out come of my actions. And yet you didn’t warn me. Why didn’t you warn me Isanami? Why didn’t you tell me of your visions?” _he dropped to his knees and was now face to face with me. His face was no longer angry but full of sorrow and guilt, and mine full of shame for running away. I was just as responsible for the fall of our people as he was, though I didn’t personally commit the act I didn’t attempt to prevent it either.  

 _ _“_ Your right…I knew everything, but what you did needed to be done. It was the only way to stop them. I’m sorry I tried to run away, I was afraid. I…I should have told you. That’s why I’m trying to help you get your orb back so you can fix this. What more do you want from me?” _he looked me in the eyes as he reached over and caressed my cheek gently.

_“Is it not obvious? I want you to be mine again.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was that, plz let me know .


	7. The Monster in My Head

_“You failed to escort my slaves to this hunting arena. Further more you took it upon yourself to release them.”Andruil said crossing her arms as she looked down her nose at me from her throne atop the viewing deck that was preserved for her and her most important guests. She was adorned in her finest hunting gear made just for this occasion no doubt. Gold chain mail covered her from neck to knee and was loosely covered with a forest green tunic held to her shape with a fine leather belt. Even her pale green foot wrappings were made of the finest of material and were embroidered with a golden leaf design._

_To her right sat her lover Ghilan'nain who was dressed in a similar fashion only her attire was yellow with a emerald belt and lacked the chain mail. To the left of Andruil sat Fen’Harel dressed in a more elegant manner with a sleeveless royal purple vest that came mid thigh and was left open to show his bare chest along with tight black breeches and gold foot wrappings._

_While Ghilan’nain looked down at me with a gleeful smile on her lips from anticipation, Fen’Harel had a look of distaste upon his features, whether it was directed at me or this little affair, I knew not. Whatever was bothering him, seemed to be gnawing at him from the inside, he constantly seemed to be wanting to say something._

_I stood on a platform in front of the viewing deck at the base of the stairs my fine Guardian Commander uniform had been taken from me and in its place I wore a thin thread bare tunic and dirty ragged tights, my feet left bare. I glazed back up at her coolly standing as tall as I could and holding my head high. I was not ashamed of my decision to disobey her orders, I felt no regrets and I wanted her to see that._

_“Now I am faced with a dilemma, see those slaves were to be the main attraction for today's hunt and now I need a replacement. And since you misplaced my game you will take its place.” She stood from her throne and descended the stairs her bow in hand. She stepped up to me and placed two fingers to my forehead and activated her sigil on my back. I dropped to my knees swallowing a scream as the sigil began to burn searing my back and paralyzing me as it awaited an order for me to carry out._

_My sigils were normally never fully activated to carry out orders unless it was absolutely necessary. I was usually just commanded in order to keep the ability to think for myself. Once a sigil was fully activated I didn’t have any free will and would become a unfeeling and mindlessly puppet. I had only been commander of the Guardians for six centuries so far and in that time only once had one of my sigils had been fully activated._

_Andruil bent down and grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me to my feet, the pain would have been unbearable if the sigil had not been activated fully. She jerked my head to look at her, her lips in a cruel smile._

_“Now the rules are quite simple, I give you five minuets then I come after you. Simple yes? Nod your head Isanami.” I soundlessly nodded my head as told. She gave off a snarl of a laugh before continuing. “This is going to make sure you don’t leave the confines of the arena. Don’t want to lose my hunting game again.” she held up a collar of sorts so that I could see it._

_It was silver and I could see it had an enchantment on it. She clasped the collar around my neck then snapped her fingers. The collar gave off an electrical charge that went through my body straight to the sigil on my back allowing me to feel the excruciating pain the collar just inflicted on me. My eyes went wide as I opened my mouth to scream._

_“Tsk tsk no screaming, that wouldn't make this much of a hunt if you were giving away your location by constantly screaming.” My mouth automatically clamped shut and the scream died in my throat at her command._

_“Andruil, you can not be seriously thinking about hunting Lady Isanami? She is a noble and under the protection of Mythal, forbidding you from killing her or even causing her harm!” Fen’Harel shouted as he jumped up from where he sat. He looked completely pissed as he began to walk down the stairs, only to be stopped by Ghilan’nain grabbing his hand._

_“Peace my brother Andruil, is only going to play with her. Besides we had this whole day planned, why let it go to waste?” she said in a sweat voice batting her long eye lashes at him. He hesitated and looked from her to me to Andruil then back to me._

_“Ghilan’nain is right brother, I only want to play with Isanami. And I promise I wont hurt her too badly.” Andruil said dragging an arrow head across my cheek._

_“I can not sit here and let this happen, I will not be apart of this.” he looked from Ghilan’nain to me once more as he yanked his hand from her. For a second he looked as if he were going to say more but was hesitant, instead he turned away and headed for the arenas exit._

_Andruil scoffed and shrugged her shoulders not bothered by his exit “Fen has always had a weak stomach when it came to real fun. No matter, we shall continue. Lets see…what are we missing? Oh yeah what form do I want you in?” she walked around me as she muttered “Griffon of normal form?”_

_“I want to see her in Griffon form, I think it would be exciting.” Ghilan’nain interjected from the viewing deck._

_Andruil nodded in agreement “Yes I believe so too. Change into griffon form immediately.” she commanded. My body began to morph against my will, bones stretched, feathers sprouted, claws grew until I towered over her. If I wasn’t under full control of her command I would have squashed her without a seconds thought._

_She looked up at me with the hungry eyes of a hunter glazing upon her prey. Ghilan’nain clapped her hands happily as she giggled with excitement._

_“You are now allowed to use your free will for survival purposes, but you will stay in this form the whole time. Attempt to leave the arena and that collar will punish you for it. Your five minuets began now.” Andruil instructed. Instantly my mind cleared and I was able to move on my own will. I spread my wings and took to the sky soaring over the immense green forest, the arena walls were built around._

_Ignoring her warning I climbed higher and higher, seeing if I could perhaps leave the bounds of the arena by going up. After a few seconds I hit a barrier, the impact taking the wind from my lungs._

_The noise of Andruil clicking her tongue in mock disapproval echoed in my head amplified by her magic “Why would you try such a thing? I warned you not try to leave the arena now you have to be punished.” there was a crack of laughter in my mind as the collar let lose the electrical charge to her sigil which in my griffon form was located on my stomach._

_The charge stopped my movements leaving me unable to move my wings causing me to plummet from the the sky. As I fell an arrow punctured one of my wings “I see you.” she taunted in a sing song tone as more arrows pierced my falling body and wings. I fell to the ground crashing through tree branches and landing with one of my wings underneath me. There was a loud crunching sound as the bones in the wing broke, I let out a loud screech at the pain and tried to get up. There were a multitude of arrows protruding from my wings and a few on my back all of which were a constant source of excruciating pain._

_As I lay on the hard ground I could feel my life seeping out of me, my essence leaving my body. I was about to close my eyes when there was a sound of snapping twigs near me. I painfully attempted to get to my feet when a large black wolf came into view._

_The wolf was about half the size of my griffon form and had fur as black as night, as he approached me he opened all six of his red eyes and nudged me with his muzzle. I never seen the rumored wolf form of Fen’Harel but I knew it was him and though we had our disagreements I was glad he had not abandoned me to this fate._

_He shifted back to his Elven form a look of worry and fear on his face “Can you change back? Can you move at all?” he asked as he made to touch me but hesitated. I whimpered, my energy too low to project my voice to him. His reached for the collar around my neck his frown deepening as he inspected it._

_I felt him push a pulse of magic through the cuff which dropped from my neck instantly. The collar was gone but Andruil s sigil was still activated keeping me from changing back._

_“I am going to fully activate my sigil which will deactivate hers. I am sorry for this, but its the only way.” he placed his hand on my large feathered head and pushed his will through me to his sigil. As his sigil activated and hers deactivated there was a searing fire that ran though out my body adding to the pain I was already in._

_There was a loud growl from not too far away from us “WOLF how dare you interfere with this?! You are out of line Fen. She will not leave this arena alive because of you actions. When I fine you two I will string her up by her entrails in front of you. You will know your place mongrel!”_

Suddenly the dream froze and I felt the presence of something sinister in my small part of the fade. I looked around searching for the unwanted guest _“Who’s there? You are trespassing into the wrong persons dreams. Show yourself!”_ I demanded spinning around looking for the culprit.

_“You dream of pain are full of guilt and regrets.”_ a deep booming voice echoed through the fade. My blood ran cold and the hair on the back of my neck stood up, the voice was familiar.

_“The marks on your hand and the other shines brightly like beacons in this realm. But where he sleeps unbothered and peaceful, you are hunted by a past full of blood.”_ the voice continued.

_“Who are you? Why are you here?”_ I question not letting dread fill me.

_“You know who I am. I am the one who makes them forget, the taker of dreams, the fear of all fears. I am-”_

_“The Nightmare.”_ I whispered finishing his sentence a shiver running down my spine. I swallowed hard suddenly aware of just how bad my situation was. His presence explained my lack of ability to control my dreams, and maybe even why they were always bad dreams in the first place.

 There was a pulse of magic on the other side of my barrier. It was Solas, though I had rescinded his invitation into my dreams a week back, he had taken it upon himself to knock once or twice every night, in hope that I would let him in. I needed his help once again, so I weakened the barrier to let him in.

_“Now that wont do. I’ve been waiting for the wolf to leave your dreams too long, to allow you to let him back in.”_  the Nightmare commented as I felt another barrier pop up in the place of mine.

_“You can not keep me here.”_

_“I can, and I will. Coryipheus wants you and I will deliver you to him once I have had my fill of your fear. Continue your dreaming, continue your wallow in guilt. Keep me entertained.”_ he taunted as my dream began to play out once again.

_“I will wake up.”_ I say trying to wake up,

_“No you wont. You will stay here, you will feed me your fears.”_ he laughed, the sound rolled through the fade leaving me cold but I ignored him.

_“I will wake up. I will wake up. I will wake up.”_ I repeated focusing on doing just that closing my eyes ignoring him and the dream.

_“You are wasting your time. You can not escape this realm, I am too strong and your will is week. Accept this new reality.”_

_“I will wake up. I will wake up!”_  I scream my chant, placing my hands on my ears, blocking his taunts. _“I Will Wake Up! I.WILL.WAKE.UP!_

 

 

 

I jolted up right in the bed breathing heavily and drenched with sweat. I blinked against the light that filtered into the room through a large window, unsure of where I was for a second. The room was sizable with cream marble flooring and gold moldings on the high ceiling. The bed I sat in was placed in the middle of the large room against a wall with a white and gold dresser complete with a big mirror on the wall across from the bed. To my right was a gold claw footed tub that sat in front of the window. Near the door to the room was a small sitting area complete with a arm char a small love seat and a coffee table made of crystal.

I breathed in a shaky sigh of relief as I remembered that I was in a hotel in Val Royeaux for the meeting with the chantry sisters.

I sat in the bed for a few minuets trying to shake the feelings of dread that had taken hold of me during my dream. I hugged my knees to my chest not ready to move, not sure how to handle the monster that would be waiting for me in the fade next time I slept.

There was a light knock on my door, pulling me from my thoughts, and forcing me to put on a brave face.

“Who is it?” I asked with a cracked voice, there was a long silence before there was a answer.

“Lady Isanami may I have a word.” The gruff voice of Blackwall answered back.

I stood up and began putting on my armor with a slight ideal of what he wanted. We picked him up on our way out of the Hinterlands and after he found out who I was he had spent the whole trip to Val Royeaux avoiding me. There were times I caught him looking at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.

With my full armor on I walked over to the door and opened it. Blackwall was a big man, intimidating even, with his black beard and mustache. I could see his muscles through the fabrics in his armor and though he was much older they were still well defined. He bowed to me then stood in the doorway waiting for an invitation in, he may be a liar but he was also gentleman. I waved my hand for him to come in then gestured to the sitting area.

 “Have a seat Blackwall.” I commanded as I stifled a yawn, he complied and once he had settled down on the love seat, I sat across him in the armchair. “What can I help you with this early in the morning?” I asked crossing my legs, trying not to come off pissy. I was not a morning person that combined with my bad dreams, I seemed to always be in a bad mood.

He looked around us, pretty much at everything but me before he cleared his throat and spoke. “They say you’re a seer, that you know things. Things about everyone.” it wasn’t a question but I nodded anyway. He went quiet and looked as if he wasn’t sure what to say next.

“Look Thom you good in my book, I have nothing against you. Believe me when I say I am the last person who can judge you.” I say taking control of the conversation. His eyes widened at me calling him his true name. I watched him as he looked to the door as if deciding to run, but he stayed where he was.

“So you know who I am and what I did?” he asked his beard moving with every word.

I sat back nodding my head “But its not about who you once were but who you are now. If I were you I would come clean to Jericho then let your action speak for you to the rest of us.” he nodded and eyed me for a second.

“Your not going to tell them, yourself?” he questioned.

“That is not my secret to tell. You know, I know the secrets of the others, but they are all secrets I will keep as my own.” I say standing up in an attempt to cut the meeting short. He stood with me and followed me to the door.

“So uh, wheres your wolf?” he asked opening the door for me.

“Oh Frost? The guards at the gate of the city wouldn't let me bring him into the city. I had to leave him with the local pack, he’s getting along great with the alpha.” I said walking out of the door.

“Shame, would have liked to have given him some of the breakfast meats.” he gruffed as he closed the door behind us.

I turned to lock the door and when I turned back I saw Solas looking at us from down the hall. His eyes went from me to Blackwall then back to me, as he furrowed his brows angrily, his lips curling into a scowl.

I glaze blankly back at him as I watch him assume the worst. He began to walk towards us but I shrugged my shoulders and turned away from him.

“You coming to eat with me Blackwall?” I asked ignoring the burning in my back. __Let him think what he wants, he’s an idiot.__  I think to myself as I lead Blackwall away from the fuming elven god towards the dinning hall.

 

 

The capital city of Orlais was beautiful and grand in its decorative buildings, though it paled in comparison to the cities of Arlathan. As we moved through the crowds that were gathered about, there were many stares and whispers as we pasted.

“Is that the Herald?”

“There are two elves with him, which one is the Protector?”

‘They are heretics, the chantry says so.”

I tuned out the french accented comments as we pushed pass the large crowd in the in the main square of the Summer Bazaar.

“Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!” a Chantry mother spoke out above the chattering nose of the gathering as she walked onto the platform. As we moved to the front of the crowd at the base of the platform the noises of the crowd quieted allowing her words to be heard.

“Together we morn our Divine. Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer! Well, wonder no more!” she said looking straight at us. “Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste and his Protector. Claiming to rise where our beloved have fallen.” she pointed to us and drew sounds of surprise and shock from the onlookers. Jericho stood straighter not shying away from her accusation while I clicked my tongue at her grand standing. “We say this is a false prophet! No servant of anything beyond his selfish greed!”

“We came here in peace, simply to talk, and this is what you do?” Jericho finally spoke from beside me. His voice had a edge to it I had never heard, perhaps the mother had angered him just as she had pissed me off with her blabbering. “I implore you:Let us sit down together, to deal with the real threat!”

“It’s true! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness, before it is too late!” Cassandra spoke up trying to add to Jericho's argument.

The chantry mother looked from her to Jericho before shaking her head “It is already too late!” she pointed to a group of templars that were making their way on to the plat form lead by the slimy Lord Seeker Lucius. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this ‘Inquisition’ and the people will be safe once more.” she continued back up to allow Lucius the stage.

 As he passed in front of her the templar behind him came up to the Mother and raised his fist to her. I sighed and raised my hand freezing the man in place before he could inflect damage upon the old woman. She looked to the man, eyes wide in horror as she understood what he had meant to do. The crowd split around me as I made my way to the platform, up to the Lord Seeker who was staring daggers at me.

As I passed the frozen statue I had just created I gave it a small shove tipping it to the ground where it shattered into many peaces. Someone screamed from the crowd but was quickly shushed.

“What is the meaning of this display?” the Lord Seeker sneered at me as he stepped to me his hand on the hilt of his sword. His men around him all drew their own swords and were now pointing the tips at me. Behind me Jericho and the rest came onto the stage with their weapons drawn ready for a fight.

“Isn't that what you were going to do? Give a little display?” I waved at the others behind me to relax as I continued. “It was going to be something along the lines of ‘The only destiny here that demands respect is mine.’ I wonder how long you practiced that speech of yours Envy?” I asked. The lord Seekers eyes went wide when he realized what i was talking about. He backed away from me “Seize the Seer, arrest her!” he shouted pointing at me. The two templars nearest to me made a move to carry out his command, lunging at me. I brought my mana forth and became ethereal the two men clashing into each other as they fell through me. It was virtually silent in the square now, most of the crowd huddling close together watching the event unfold.

“Answer me this Envy,why the Lord Seeker? Why not someone more, I don’t know, more powerful?” I ask solidifying once more and stepping over the templars that had fallen at my feet.

“Why is she calling him Envy isn’t that a demon?” Cassandra asked in a whisper from behind me.

“Perhaps she knows something we have yet to know our selves, Seeker.” Solas answered.

I ignored their words and summoned a dagger, stepping towards the fake Lord Seeker.

“Stop her. You dare raise a blade to me? Dispel her magic!” he commanded drawing his sword and rushing at me. I danced out of his range as a few of his men attempted to smite me. I laughed at the tickling sensation that followed their smites.

“Oh that wont work on me. My magic is much older then the Holy Smite, and is not affected by it.” there were sounds of commotion behind me where the Herald and the others were now fighting the rest of the templars. On the side of us were a few templars that were not fighting or standing beside the Lord Seeker, instead they were watching the fight between me and their leader with looks of question on their their faces.

Lucius came at me again with his sword high but I blocked it with my dagger “You are weak for an Envy demon. Maybe it is the confines of the form you currently take.” I taunted pushing him away from me.

“You know not what you speak of Seer. I have power, title, and men to command. This form fits me perfectly.” He swung his sword at my head as he spoke. I ducked and fade stepped behind him and placed my hand on the back of his head. I had planned on provoking the demon into showing himself on his own accord, but he seemed set on continuing his charade.

 I pushed my magic and will through the glammered form of the Lord Seeker forcing the envy demon to make an appearance. Instantly the form of the Seeker melted away and fell to the ground like molten flesh as the Envy demon unfurled himself from the confines of the human form. The demon stretched out of the remaining flesh bending back and letting loss a loud angry screech.

The fighting around me stopped and the sounds of the crowd quieted as every one present turned their attention to the Envy demon that now stood in place of the Lord Seeker.

“That…That thing is the Lord Seeker?” a chocolate skinned templar asked from the side. I believe he was Ser Barris, he was one of the few who had stood on the sidelines watching every thing.

“No. That is a demon parading around as the Lord Seeker. Lucius, The real one is else where.” I say feeling a barrier being thrown onto me as I expelled a multitude of fire balls towards the demon. Solas fade stepped beside me and began slinging ice as Cassandra and Black wall rushed the demon with their shields up and swords ready.

The remaining Templars turned towards the demon and began hacking at it fighting along side us. The Envy demon swung its long claws down in a fury clipping one of the templars, maiming him. The templar backed away screaming, but where he fell another stepped up to take his place.

 

The battle was short with all of us fighting together against the envy demon. In the aftermath of the fight the templars stood around unsure of what they were to do next.

“What do we do now? Where do we go?” one of the templars asked looking lost.

“We go with the Inquisition. If they still want our help.” Ser Barris answered looking to Jericho for an answer.

The Herald shrugged glancing around us “Sure why not? We are not really in a position to turn down help. Perhaps the templar order can rebuild with the help of the Inquisition.”

“Of course those who fight beside us will have to cast aside their prejudice for mages. The Inquisition is an organization made up of many people from different backgrounds. We will not tolerate racism among our ranks.” I said crossing my arms.

Ser Barris stood straighter and nodded his head to us“Understood.” he said as he turned to the remaining templars. “It is not up to me what you do from here, but as the highest ranking templar here, I believe we should make our way to Haven. That is where Night Commander Cullen is currently. I can not force any of you to go with me and if there are some of you who do not agree with this decision you are welcome to do as you wish.” he waited for any objections, but when non came he faced us again and bowed his head. “We will head out in two days, that should give us enough time to send word to our brothers at Therinfal Redoubt of what has happened here.

As The Herald spoke with Ser Barris a light brown skinned man dressed in Orlesian mage garb approached us. He stood a few feet away from our group and awkwardly watched us waiting for something. I walked over to him, he was Vivienne’s messenger tasked with giving Jericho the invitation to her soiree.

“An invitation from Madame de Fer?” I asked the man, who jumped at attention when I addressed him.

“Uh Yes. Um An invitation from First Enchanter Vivienne. Are you the Herald of Andraste?” He asked offering me the paper he held I pointed to Jericho who was just finishing up with Ser Barris.

“No that’s the Herald, you will want to give that to him.”  I say as I began to walk out of the square.

“Where are you going Isanami?” Jericho yelled after me as the circle mage handed him the invitation.

“I need a gown for tonight's party.”

“What party?” he asked as he looked down to the paper he had taken from the mage. “Oh.”

“Ill meet you back at the Hotel in time for us to leave. Oh and watch out for arrows.” I say over my should are as I exit the square.

“Arrows?”

 

“Wow you look…Amazing.” The Herald said as he stood outsides my rooms door. He was dressed in a silver and black embroidered doublet tied at the wast with a silver sash and a silver silk cloak trimmed with black latched to his shoulder draped down his back.

I chose a gold and white gown with a tight corset that faded from solid white to sheer gold. The bottom half of my dresses fabric was layered with solid white silk covered with sheer gold and was floor length with two long slits in the front giving great view of my long legs.

I smiled and grabbed the two mask sitting on the small coffee table before walking out of the room.

“Here,take this. The Orlesian’s love to hide their faces, they think it makes them hard to read.”

He chuckled and placed the silver and black masquerade mask on to his face. I put on my gold and white mask, and followed him down the hall out of the hotel to the chariot drawn by two Orlesian Coursers.

 

 

The estate of Duke Bastin de Ghislain was beautiful in its Orlesian fashion. It was large with multiple blue spires jutting towards the sky and water fountains leading up to the grand entrance arch way. There were groups of people scattered about the entrance of the estate, all with their mask on.

As we entered the ball room our arrival was announced “Lord Trevelyan of Ostwick representing the Inquisition and...”the announcer hesitated when he saw me.

I bent my head to him “Lady Lavellan of Arlathan.” I whispered to the confused man.

He nodded and stood straight taking a deep breath“And Lady Lavellan of Arlathan.”

We walked past him and a couple approached us both dressed in the ridiculous Orlesian Fashions.

“What a pleasure to met you my Lord, my Lady.” He said giving a slight bow to Jericho then me before he continued. “Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome. So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer. Or are you here for Duke Bastien?”

“Are you here on business?” the woman asked in a mocked up high voice. “I have heard the most curious tales of you two. I can not imagine half of them are true.”

“What have you heard about us.” Jericho implored stroking his mustache, clearly at ease in this setting.

“Some say that when the veil opened, Andraste delivered you out of the fade. That you carried the protector out of a rift naked.” I snorted and rolled my eyes, of course they would talk about me being naked.

Jericho chuckled “Everything you’ve heard? Completely true.”

“Better and better. The Inquisition should attend more of these parties.” the woman gushed.

“The Inquisition? What a load of pig shit?” a brash voice rang across the room. We turned to see Duke Bastien making his way down the stairs. “Washed up sisters and crazed seekers? No one can take them seriously. Everyone knows its just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.” Bastien said as he made his way around us and stood in front of the Herald.

“I’ve never made any claims of holiness. Whats your point?” Jericho questioned not fazed by the grandstanding Marquis.

“In front of all these people, you admit to being a pretentious usurper.” He stepped up to Jericho and me “We know what your Inquisition truly is. If you were a man of honer, you’d step out side and answer the charges.” he reached behind his back to pull the blade he was hiding, but was immediately frozen in place.

“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house…to my guest.” Vivienne said as she made her grand entrance down the stairs. She was…intense, I think that's the word. She was wearing a type of elegant jumpsuit of sorts topped off with her horned headdress that made her more intimidating. “You know such rudeness is…Intolerable.”

“Uh Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!” The Marquis stuttered as Vivienne walked around the frozen Marque.

“You should. What ever am I to do with you, my dear? My Lord you are the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?” She asked turning to Jericho and me.

“How about you leave him here as a…temporary statue, while you and Jericho speak. I’ll stay with the Marquis.” I say, answering before Jericho could speak.

Vivienne looked to me for a second before chuckling “I like how you think darling. Come herald l’m delighted you could attend this little gathering. I’ve so wanted to meet you.” she said as she lead Jericho away.

As they walked away a servant with a tray of wine walked pass me, I quickly grabbed a glass before I turned to the Marquis.

“You should think twice about insulting Vivienne again. That’s why she manipulated you into trying to attack us. Whatever you said to her, pissed her off.” I laughed as I drowned the wine. The Marquis tried to speak but it was pointless.

“Yeah ha… I don’t know what you said there, but here’s a bit of advice: Come to Haven and help us. You could make a real difference there, and maybe become something more then a statue.” I joked grabbing another glass of wine from a passing servant.                  

 

 

 

 

He stood at the door fuming unable to bring his rage in and keep it under control. He had seen the Herald lead Isanami into his room, he had watched as Blackwall walked out of her room that morning. Was she getting back at him for making her remember? He didn’t know but Solas wasn’t about to let her just run around with another guy. She had been avoiding him like a plague, she wouldn’t speak to him, she wouldn't even look in his direction.

He raised his hand to knock but hesitated. She was behind this door doing, who knows what with the Herald. He took in a deep breath as he ran a hand through his long auburn hair. He had grown it out for her, Isanami had always had a thing for his hair.

He growled softly and rapt on the door. There was soft rustling before the Herald opened the door slightly. He was shirtless and wore only a pair of breeches, Solas eyes darkened as he took in the sight of Isanami laying on the bed behind Jericho.

He pushed pass the Herald and walked up to the bed looking down at her sleeping form. She was out cold still dressed in the gown she had worn to the soiree her blue hair in a disarray around her head.

“Solas its not what you think. She passed out and I couldn’t get her room door open. Besides I know you two have something going on, I would never want to come between you two.” Jericho said as he stood by the door not wanting to get too close to the seething elven mage.

Solas snapped his head around to Jericho “What do you mean by ‘something between us’?” he questioned trying to keep his voice calm.

“Well the way you look at her, its like you are always trying to catch her eye.” Jericho pinched the bridge of his nose as he yawned.

Solas shook his head turning back to Isanami’s sleeping form, bending down and lifting her into his arms. He carried her to the door but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Look Solas she was drinking like she was afraid something. She kept saying something about how she shouldn't sleep and that someone was waiting for her to go to sleep. She seem completely scared. I think somethings going on that she isn’t telling us.” he said with obvious concern.

Solas looked down at the sleeping woman in his arms, she looked peaceful as her head rested against his chest. Was she still having those nightmares? Is that why she didn’t want to sleep with a clear mind. She must have drunk a lot of wine to have passed out. Wine temporarily cuts off a mage from the fade if they become incapacitate by it. Was she drinking so much on purpose? And who was waiting for her in the fade?

Solas wanted the answers to these questions just as much as he wanted Isanami to look at him without any distrust in her eyes.


	8. Sleeping Beauty and the Heated Discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

I let out a long sigh, shivering against the chill of the early morning as I made my way down the path from my cabin to the gates of Haven. It had been a month since the meeting with the chantry mothers in Val Royeaux and three weeks since Jericho, Solas Cassandra and Sera had left to meet with the Rebel mages in Redcliffe.

 I had chosen to stay behind and was enjoying the peaceful setting of the snowy mountains surrounding Haven. I needed space, time to think and prepare for what was to come. I also wanted to be able to deal with the Nightmare situation away from the watchful eyes of Solas.

As I came closer to the gates of Haven there was a low whine from the trees. I stopped and turned towards the noise spotting Frost and the local Haven pack waiting patiently for me to notice them. I veered towards them and dropped to my knees in front of Frost wrapping my arms around the neck of the great big wolf. He was warm and smelled of pine and winter.

 He licked my cheek affectionately before wiggling out of my embrace and sitting straight and proudly. I think it embarrassed him to be hugged in front of the pack, I chuckled at the thought as I turned to the alpha of the pack. I reached over to the leading wolf allowing him to sniff my hand before I place two fingers on his head and pushed my magic into him.

 _ _“Thank you for letting him run with your pack. We will be leaving in a week so he will be staying with me as I make preparations for the trip.”__ I emitted into his mind before removing my hand. The large intelligent creature bowed his head in understanding and licked my hand before turning back to the trees behind him. The fifteen or so wolves of the pack all turned and followed him into the snowy forest.

I stood up from the cold ground dusting the loose snow from my knees as I turned back towards the path to the gates of Haven. Frost trotted beside me as we walked in silence through the entrance and made our way to the Singing Maiden, where I had made it part of my daily routine to eat in the morning.

With one foot through the door I was waved over to the table in the corner of the bustling tavern by Varric. He was surrounded by papers and beside him sat the rowdy Iron Bull. Jericho had gone to met the Charges on his way back to the Hinterland and had sent the company back top Haven with supplies and news of the trip.

The Iron Bull was a massive qunari made entirely of grayish blue skin that stretched across a bulking mass of muscles. His chest was bare despite the cold and he radiated testosterone almost to the point that it was hard being a lady in his presence.

He was laughing quite loudly at something Varric had said as I settled down in a chair across from him at the table.

“Hey there Blue. How’d you sleep last night?” Varric asked looking up from a paper in front of him.

I waved the barmaid before answering “Great actually, I feel rested and ready to work.” I say as a cup of wine was placed in front of me.

“ Varric told me about your trouble with bad dreams.” Iron Bull began as he took a swing from his cup. I shot a dirty look at Varric who gave me an apologetic shrug.

“It came up last night after you had gone to bed. You know Blue, people do care about your well being.” he said defensively looking back down at his work.

“Yeah well I know of a few ways to get rid of bad dreams. In the qun if ones mind was troubled and affecting their sleep they would go to the Tamassrans and… lets just say there were physical activity that would clear the mind of all bad thought temporarily.” The qunari wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. I sputtered my drink at his implication shocked at his suggestion though I should have expected it.

I cleared my throat “We are not in Par Vollen Bull. So that is not an possibility for me.” I say looking down at the bowl of steaming hot grits that had just been placed in front of me.

“No we are not. But I am here if you decide…”

“No thank you.” I say cutting him off and digging in, hungry from a night of drinking .

 

 

Done with my morning meal I pried myself from the table despite the protest of my table mates and made my way out of the Tavern. Outside the tavern I looked around for Frost only to see a young man tossing scraps of bloodied meat to the wolf who was as excited as a dog receiving doggie treats.  

‘I’ve told you before, hes not a dog, to be fed table scraps. He’s a beast who can hunt his own meals.” I say coming up behind the man.

“Yeah but the way he is acting at the moment, would suggest he is a large dog.” the man said turning to me and giving me a coy smile.

I smiled “Krem.” I say in greeting. He was handsome with his creamy brown sugar skin just a shade darker then my own golden bronze skin tone. His coal black hair was styled in a hipster cut cropped short on the sides. And though he was slightly shorter then me his intimidating armor made up for his lacking height.

“Lady Izanami.” he said bowing slightly before looking down at Frost who was now sitting on his hind paws whining.

“Frost have some shame. Stop begging.” the wolf looked at me his tongue lolling around giving me a wolfish grin before he walked over to my side. Krem chuckled to himself at the spectacle as he nodded to me. “Good day Lady Isanami.” he said turning back to the tavern.

 

 

“This is obviously a trap!” The voice of a frustrated Cullen greeted me as I entered the back room of the chantry for the council meeting I was called to.

“Of course it is. Alexius wants to lure the Herald to Redcliffe under the guise of negotiating for the rebel mages in order to capture Jericho for the Venatori.” I say walking up to the war table. The map was almost covered with paper and parchment, mostly request for the Inquisition’s help and a few letters of complaints from the chantry and a couple of nobles who were frightened of the Inquisition’s agenda.

“We have the Templar Order already backing us, they are just as capable to close the breech as the Mages. I don’t see why we are still attempting to recruit the rebel mages.”the commander commented pinching the bridge of his nose wincing perhaps from the pain of lyrium withdraw.

“It is true we do have the Templar Order but we can’t just leave the rebel mages under the control of a Tevinter Magister and one from this Venatori no less.” Liliana’s said calmly as she shuffled through the piles of letters.

“Not only that, this can also be seen as an opportunity to show Thades that the Inquisition accepts all into its ranks. Besides having both the Templar Order and the Rebel Mages working together could change the prisoner and jailer relationship for the two groups.” I say stiffening a yawn, I hated these meetings. I am more of an action type person so sitting in a cold room reading letters from strangers who think their opinions need to be heard was a bore to me. But with Jericho gone I was the one the council met with in his stead, I was the one calling the shots.

“But if we know it is a trap…” Cullen started but was cut off by Liliana.

“It is up to the Herald and his Protector if they want to willingly walk in to a trap.” the spymaster said looking to me for an answer.

“What? Its really up to Jericho, he is the one the Venatori wants.” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“Quit the contrary, in Alexius’s invitation he invites both you and the Herald.” sweet Josephine said looking up from her clipboard.

“Not only did he invite you, from what the Herald wrote in his letter detailing the encounter, the Magister was quite interested in you and made many inquires about your whereabouts.” Liliana chimed as she handed me the Magister’s invitation.

I looked down at the fancy parchment and its elegantly curly calligraphy. “Huh…well if it was up to only me, I say we go and entertain the Magister and take him down in the process.” I say tossing the invitation back on the table.

“We don’t have the man power to take the castle, either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and use the Templars we already have to close the breech”

“There is another way in, Liliana and the Hero of Ferelden used it during the fifth blight.” I say looking pointedly to the spymaster. She looked back at me in surprise and then continued to stare through me as she fell into deep thought. As we waited in silence for her to recall the information we needed I continued to read a particularly demanding letter.

“Ah…yes, there is a secret passage into the castle, an escape route for the family. Its too narrow for our troop, but we can send agents through.”

“Too risky, those agents will be discovered well before they reach the Magister.” Cullen interjected.

“That is why we need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly.” Liliana said standing straighter with her hands behind her back.

“Focus their attention on Trevelyan and Lady Isanami while we take out the Tevinters0. Its risky but it could work.” said the commander as he saw the plan coming together.

Suddenly the door to the war room was thrown open, and a handsome mocha skinned man waltzed in. He was a man with well defined muscles and a epic mustache that he wore like an accessory. The air around this very attractive man was full of electricity…and the sent of vanilla. Interesting.

“Fortunately you’ll have help.” he announced as he strolled up to the table beside me.

“This man says he has information about the magister and his methods, Commander.” said the baffled squire that trailed in after the Tevinter.

“Dorian of house Pavius, it is a pleasure to meet you, though we were not expecting you to arrive before Jericho.” I say greeting the young man with a smile and my hand out to shake.

He made a flourish of a bow before grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips for a simple peck. “And you must be the mystifying Lady Isanami. It is quit the honer to met one from such a magnificent era.” he was laying it on thick but I found it humorous.

“So…you can help us with our Alexius problem?” I asked steering the conversation back to the point despite knowing the answer.

“Oh yes, well your spies will never get pass Alexius’s magic without my help. So if your going after him, I’m coming along.” he said addressing the whole of the room now.

“The plan puts you and the Herald in the most danger. We can’t in good conscious order you to do this. We could still close the breech with just the Templars if you rather not play the bait. It’s up to you.” Cullen said looking to me to make the final decision.

He was right, we could just use the templars, but that would deny the Inquisition access to much needed information. Of course I could just ‘foresee’ the future events but that would leave Alexius with free range over the rebel mages, and who knows what would happen. And though I can control what aspects of the future I could see, I was not confident I would be able to utilize the information for the best outcome.

“No. We go and take down Alexius. We get the rebel mages to our side. Then we close the Breech.” I say grimly not really looking forward to what the near future held for the Herald.

“Okay then we need to prepare.” Liliana said in a way that made me sure I wasn’t leaving the war room anytime before lunch.

 

 

 

“This looks good, it looks…doable.” the Commander said as he looked down at a blue print of the Redcliffe castle. We had stood around the war table for hours, and I was right. Not only did I not leave the room before lunch, my mid day meal had been brought to me.

I was irritated from being inside for so long and having to stand the whole time. I ran my hand through my hair as I gave a long bored sigh “So are we done here?” I asked in a sharp tone.

‘I believe so, of course we will have to run this plan by the Herald. But we should be heading towards Redcliffe in about a week.” Liliana answered as she headed towards the door. “If you need me I will be briefing my scouts.” she said with a slight nod towards me then she was gone.

Josephine was close behind her “Oh Lady Isanami is there anything else I can get you for your cabin? I had heard from one of the cooks that you had been looking for some royal elfroot and spindelweed.” she asked stopping at the door and turning to me.

“Uh, no everything is great, I found what I needed. Thanks by the way, the cabin is cozy, you did a great job with it.” she did do a great job in making the cabin livable, and there was also the added bonus of the tub she had moved in for me.

“I’m happy that it meets your needs. If there is anything you only have to ask.” she says as she turned and walked out the door.

“So! Now that we are done with the important things, would you care for a drink? I heard there is a tavern around here.” Dorian said facing me with a playful smile on his lips.

“Actually I have other duties to attend to. Perhaps later.” I reply gathering up the paper thrown around the table.

“Ah, well of course. If you do happen to stop by I would love to hear all about you. Which way is the tavern?” he questioned heading for the door.

“Follow the path keep to the left.” Cullen answered looking up from the map. From the way he was standing I could tell he was planning on staying at the table,probably to go over the plan again, he seemed to be a perfectionist.

“Thank you. Good day to you Commander, Lady Isanami.” then the mage was out the door.

It was quite and I was about to duck out of the room also when Cullen gave a shaky sigh. I turned and watched as he closed his eyes and raised a hand to massage his temples, he looked pained and trouble.

“Cullen?” I whispered, his eyes snapped open but he didn’t say anything so I continued “You don’t look so good. Are you alright?” I asked walking over to him.”

He shook his head but answered “No I’m fine, just a light headache.”

I chuckled at his failed attempt to lie “You are not fine, you are suffering from withdrawal of lyrium.”

“How…well yes.” is all he said. I nodded my head then grabbed a stray piece of parchment and a quill.

“Go to Adan tell him to make this potion. Put four drops in water, juice or milk. One cup when you wake up and one before you go to bed. Of course this is just for the withdrawal there isn't much I can give that will help with your PTSD.” I hand the dumbfound commander the paper and smile reassuringly to him.

“Uh thank you. What is ptsp?” he asked looking at the paper in his hand then back at me.

“Its PTSD, it means Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is the byproduct of witnessing or experiencing a horrific event, such as what you went though at the circle tower. Everyone deals with it differently, I personally find peace of mind through drinking.” I pat his shoulder then turn away making my way to the door.

“You?” his voice unsure.

“Well of course, you don’t live as long as I have and not experience something terrifying.” I say over my shoulder as I went through the door, leaving the commander with a prescription and much to think on.

 

 

I approached the area where the mounts were being held near the blacksmiths station deep in thought going over the preparations I had made over the last month. I had went around Haven and magically refortified the surrounding walls, placed a chest of supplies in the caverens under the village complete with blankets, fire runes, potions, dried meats and water. On top of all that I had Cullen’s men turn all of the working trebuchets towards the mountains despite the commander’s arguments that we should have them pointing in a multitude of directions.

Frost yelped happily from the side of Blackwall when he saw me making my way towards my halla, and ran to me. Running my hand through his thick white fur I smiled towards black wall.

“I hope he didn’t trouble you, the mothers get all bitchy when I try to bring him inside the chantry.” I say still petting the large wolf.

“No no its fine by me. We went hunting, took down a whole druffalo by himself. What a sight it was. I skinned it and left the fur and some of the meat near the door of your cabin the rest is being served at the tavern.” he said with a chuckle.

I smiled “Thank you, I’m glad he was of use today.” I say turning to the halla.

I had ordered a couple buckets royal elfroot infused water to be waiting for me to use for my next task. I inspected the water the approached the male halla, the noble creature looked up from the hay he had been eating to watch me carefully. Once I was close enough I bowed low to the animal and waited. Not before long the animal walked over and stood before me patiently waiting for me to offer it the water I had been feeding it for the last month in preparation of its transformation.

I placed a bucket in front of it and did the same for the female halla, first bowing then waiting. With them both happily drinking the water i wait for them to finish and look out over the frozen lake taking a deep breath of the cold mountain air. Frost quietly sat beside me looking up at me with worry in his eyes, he could feel my unrest and though he could not talk he understood from my mod that something big was coming and that I knew what it was. I was anxious, soon we will be going to Redcliffe, soon we would be closing the breech, soon we would be…

“’Oh there you are hahren,I had been looking for you.” said a light feminine voice, that interrupted my train of thought. I turned and grimaced as my eyes fell upon Mihris who was still in a low bow.

“I thought I told you not to call me that.” I say cuttingly. Despite my clear dislike for her Jericho took it upon himself to invite her to Haven on the behalf of the Inquisition. She had been bothering me almost every day with her invasive questions and lack of respect for personal space.

“My apologies Lady Isanami.” she says standing back up.

My frown deepened “What do you want Mihris, I’m busy.” I turn from her and walk to the halla once more. The male halla met me in the middle and stood still almost as if it knew the time had come and it was ready.

‘I saw that you were tending to the halla and I wanted to watch and…” she trailed off but I knew why she was here. It was why she kept coming but she could never bring herself to ask.

“You want to know about Imshael or is it Sir Michel?” I pat the male halla before me on the neck and hum soothingly to it. Frost rubbed up against me then moved back towards Blackwall, they seemed to get along so well.

“Where is Sir Michel? You must know.” she said out right leaning against a wooden post.

“Why should I tell you? You will only go and try to hunt him down.” I turned to face her “Answer me this, Sir Michel killed only your lover who by the way was a cocky asshole, while Imsheal destroyed your whole clan. So why does the man deserve your ire and not the demon?” I watched a she scrunched up her face.

“Spirit by choice. And I must get revenge so that my loves soul may go with Falon’Din in peace. ” she began.

“Tsk tsk wow that sounded just like him, though he is neither. And what of the souls of the rest of your clan, do they not deserve peace? I think you anger is miss directed and your priorities as former second of Clan Virnehn are not straight.”

“I…what do you think I should do?” she asked clutching her hands.

I shrug as if I had lost interest “Eh shouldn't you know? I find it mighty funny that Sir Michel has made it his personal mission tracking down Imsheal and yet you sit here lost.” she didn’t speak and instead looked out over the frozen lake silent.

I turn from her and face the male halla that had been waiting patiently for me to continue my task. Patting his neck once again I placed my other hand on his head between his large antlers. Closing my eyes I pushed my magic into his head through his skull into his brain and began my search. I moved my magic through his brain looking for something akin to a blockade, something that would block my magic for searching further.

“What is-” she started but I cut her off.

“Shhh.”

She obeyed my unspoken demand for silence as I continued my search. After a few minutes of guiding my magic through the very complex twist and turns of the animals brain, I hit something. I pushed may magic against it again to make sure, and there it was, the blockage I had been looking for. Taking in a deep breath I will my magic into a sharp ethereal needle of mana and began to stab at the block. The animal stiffened under my hand and began to back up, but I patted its neck and began to hum to it once more.

Soon my mana needle pierced through the block and with it still in the bock I expanded the needle in to a thicker stream of mana clearing out the blockage. Once the block was gone I withdrew my magic but left a small amount to take root and speed up the process.

I opened my eyes and patted the stunned animal once more as I took a step back. I breathed deeply in the silence which didn’t last long enough.

“What do you do now?” Mihris asked from behind me.

“I wait for the magic to take effect.” I say sitting down on a barrel of feed, the mage came sat on the hay beside me much to my discomfort. I wanted to be alone, I needed to be alone to think, to reflect.

“You say Imsheal is not a spirit, though he clams he is not a demon, so what is he?” she questions watching the male halla closely.

I sigh and look up over at the now setting sun, “Imshael is neither demon nor spirit though many believe him to be a demon. He is one of the four Forbidden Ones.”

“The Forbidden Ones?”

“Yes, they were once Elvhen like me, very powerful beings almost on par with the Evanuris. But during a particularly bloody bout with the Forgotten ones they abandoned the People giving up their physical forms to become ever changing spirits. Because of this betrayal they were exiled from the lands of the People.” I say looking to the mage beside me but she wasn’t looking to me. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open in surprise as she watched the halla. I followed her gaze and saw what was so shocking.

The male halla had begun to glow a light blue, and before my eyes he collapsed. I jumped up and rushed to the creatures side and began to rub his neck lovingly. Frost sensing the urgency rushed to my side and poked at the fallen halla with his muzzle.

“Is that halla alright?” Blackwall asked as he came to see what the ruckus was about.

“Yes I believe so-” before I could finish there was a odd crunching and suddenly the halla began to grow under my hands. I watched as his muscles became bigger, bones began to stretched, even its horns seem to become longer. The animal whined in pain and shuddered violently before it closed its eyes and stiffened. I hurriedly check the halla’s vitals and breathed a sigh of relief when it turned out that the animal had passed out.

“Ok he is fine looks like it was a success, he… looks just like his ancestors, beautiful.” I say standing up, looking down at the now sleeping animal.

“Wow he is almost as big as a hart. I can’t believe that worked.” said a breathless Mihris.

I gave her a dirty look “Of course it worked, the halla are meant to look like this, they were once used as war mounts.” I say as I turn to the female halla.

 

 

 

It was late almost near midnight when I got back to my cabin. Cold and shivering I  walked through the door and tossed the druffalo hide Blackwall had left for me to the side. Frost came in behind me and nudged the door close before laying in front of the fireplace and closing his eyes.

I was so tired that I had passed up going to the tavern, I had not been up to the friendly chatter that would have been waiting for me there. I stripped my day wear and sat on my bed rubbing my eyes. Even though I was exhausted I knew that I still couldn’t enter the fade safely.

I reached under my pillow grabbing the small glass vial that was hidden underneath. I laid back onto the bed and raised the glass above me staring into the murky black potion that swirled inside.

 

 

They had rode into town around midnight, mounts and riders tired alike. Though it was well into the night the commander and spymaster greeted them at the gates of Haven.

“Herald it is good to see that you are well.” Cullen said as he grabbed the rends to the mount of half asleep mage leading them towards the area where the horse would be kept.

“Ah… yes same to you Cullen.” the man answered through a yawn.

“We would like to brief you in the war room about our next move.” spoke Liliana from beside the commander.

Solas steered his hart towards the mount area barely listening to the exchange his eyes searching for Isanami. He had expected for her to meet them at the gate with the rest of the war room council despite it being so late. He unmounted and guided the hart to the hay before he slipped away to his cabin.

At the door of his cabin he placed a hand to his door but found that the ward he had placed on it had been dispelled. He shook his head a small smirk on his lips. Of course she had been in his cabin.

He entered the cabin and snapped his finger willing a fire into existence in the fireplace as he paced the room his eyes flitting around, searching for anything out of place. His desk was exactly the way he left it cluttered with books and papers, his bed was still neatly made and his dresser…

The second drawer was slightly askew as if it had been closed hastily. He walked over to the dresser and pulled the drawer open. It was where he kept his herbs for potion making and as he looked through the contents he noticed several rare herbs were missing.  

Spindalweed, Royal elfroot, Black lotus, and Crystal Grace all which were missing but he couldn’t think of any potion that called for such herbs. Shaking his head he closed the drawer and began to unpack his pack and undress for bed. He would question her about it in the morning. He looked forward to it.

He was tired but he wanted to speak to her, to see how she was doing, if she was sleeping well. He sat down on the bed sighing heavily and running his hands through his hair. He liked his hair, it made him feel like the old him, back when he had everything under control. He laid down and closed his eyes reaching for her through the fade.

 

 

When he entered the fade he had expected to run into her mental barriers but instead he stood in the center of a large hall with numerous giant white marble columns holding up a glass ceiling. The floor was a shiny solid gold that reflected every thing like a mirror the walls looked to be made out of blue silk being blown in the wind. In the middle of the hall was a glowing blue dome of sorts with something laying on the grown inside it. The only visible exit was a large archway at the other end of the hall where bright white rays of light filtered into the hall.

He cautiously walked towards the dome his steps echoing through the hall. He had been here before, only once. It was Isanami’s personal space in the fade it was where she went when she need to consult the Tree.

He looked inside the dome, and there she was, asleep. Her blue hair pooled around her head, her face relaxed and peaceful. He reached to touch her cheek but his hand met the sold dome. He placed his palm on the glass like dome and pushed, it didn’t budge. He reached out with his mana in an attempt to break the dome but it was rebounded.

He sighed continuing to watch her sleep, her chest moving ever so slightly with every breath she took. Last time he had been here she had been awake, warm and full of smiles as she showed him the many things she had held inside her mind. She had explained the wonder that was the Tree, and told him of the forest were she tried to keep that _ _Thing__  calm and at bay.

He turned to the archway at the end of the hall and walked towards it. The light was blinding when he walked through the archway and once his eyes adjusted he could see the Tree. It was bigger the when he last saw it, with branches reaching as far as ten feet. It looked to be carved out of an enormous diamond that radiated the bright light in the room. There was a multitude of delicate leaves that grew off the many twigs of the branches and the thick trunk of the tree had what looked like blue veins creeping upwards inside.

 As he approached the Tree he saw that many of the branches and were dark and where the rest of the tree was translucent and clear these branches were opaque and dull and their leaves shriveled and dead. Isanami had explained to him before what these branches and leaves showed and what they meant.

This Tree was a physical manifestation of all the visions Isanami had ever had and of everything she had seen in the past. The clear bright branches and leaves had events still yet to come while the dark cloudy branches were futures that could no longer come to pass or foretold Isanami’s death.

He looked at the tree and reached out and touched one of the leaves on a dead branch. Instantly his sight went blank as a scene played in his mind.

__It was raining hard and her clothes were heavy and filthy from the ground on which she lay. Her breath was shallow and as she looked up at the dark sky she could feel herself weakening. She laboriously dragged her hand up her side to the thick spear that was still sticking out of her abdomen. She was dying slowly, the pain too much for even her ignore. Her eyes drooped but she fought to keep them open._ _

__“Ma’Fen where…are you…” she sputtered as her body gave a shudder and her eyes closed against her will._ _

He stumbled back and yanked his hand away from the shriveled leaf as his sight returned. The vision had been unsettling leaving him cold and weary. He circled the Tree admiring its otherworldly beauty, taking in the light pattern it cast around the room. Coming to a stop once more he reached for a clear leaf near the end of one of the longer branches of the tree.

__She was leaning against a large tree in a sunny meadow of yellow and pink flowers, her gaze following two dancing children. One was a small girl with curly blue hair and aqua green eyes just like Isanami, the other an slightly older boy with fiery orange hair that had a streak of the same blue at the temple and piercing gray eyes._ _

__“You don’t know what your doing. Pa says you have to stand like this.” the boy said to the girl as he stood straight. The little girl attempted to copy the boys movements but tripped and fell to the ground._ _

__“Pa tell her she’s not doing it right. She’s too clumsy” the boy pouted as he helped his sister to her feet._ _

__“Perhaps we should show them how its done vhenan.” Isanami said as she turned and look beside her locking eyes with Fen’Harel._ _

The vision ended too soon for his liking, he wanted to see more of this favorable future but something was pulling him from the fade. He grasped the leaf and broke it from the branch. This one he would keep.

 

 

Solas eyes flew open to the noise of some one banging on his door. It was late, near noon, he could tell from the light filtering in from the window. He sat up and rubbed his eyes his hand a fist holding something. He looked down and opened his hand, the diamond like leaf sat in his palm. He smirked and pushed it under his pillow before he stood up and went to the door.

“Hahren…Hahren!” a startled voice came from the door between knocks.

Solas swung the door open to find a red faced Mihris “What is it da’lin?” he asked taking in her alarmed expression.

“It-its Lady Isanami, sh-shes not waking up!” the young elf cried almost shouting in confusion.

Solas snapping in to full alert turned to grab a shirt and rushed out of his cabin, without a seconds thought.

 ‘What do you mean she isn’t waking?” he asked Mihris who trailed close behind him still sobbing.

“I-I had went to bring her, her morning meal but she didn’t respond. I thought th-that she just didn’t want to be bothered, but when I brought her a mid day snack she didn’t answer again so I-I went into her cabin and-and…” she trailed off and began to cry again.

They hurried through the gates and down the path to the cabin with nothing but the younger mage’s sobs between them. Once at the cabin Solas threw open the door and stepped inside.

“There you are. She isn't responding to anything, though she is still breathing, quite evenly so.” came the voice of the Tevinter mage, who was knelt beside the bed.

“Mihris, did you get Adan?” the Herald asked from near the fireplace.

“I-I forgot I’ll go get him now sir!” Mihris turned to the door and ran out of the cabin.

“Let me see her.” Solas said in a low voice as he stepped up to the side of the bed. Dorian nodded and moved out of his way giving him the space he needed. Solas bent down and grabbed the unconscious woman’s wrist and checked her pulse. It was normal and calm, it was as if she was just sleeping. He ran his eyes over her looking for any signs of injuries, but there were non.

He breathed in a deep breath trying to figure out what to do next but stopped short. He breathed again tasting the air catching a sweet scent. He had smelled this scent before, but he couldn’t quite recall from where. He knelt on to his knee and sniffed again, it was stronger, sweeter. He looked at her peaceful face and narrowed his eyes in thought. Then he moved closer to her slightly open lips and breathed once more.

He jumped up from where he was and turned to the other two in the room “I need some hot water, elfroot, dawn lotus, rashvine, milk a few health potions and a spirit resistant tonic!” he ordered. The men both nodded their heads in silence and rushed out of the cabin without question, leaving Solas behind to work.

He turned and looked down at Isanami shaking his head angrily. He had smelled that smell before and now he remembered from where. It all made sense now, the missing herbs from his cabin, the glass dome in the fade. How did she make it? Where was the rest of it? He wondered walking over to her desk and throwing open the drawers. He shuffled around the desk rummaged through her dresser searching for the remaining potion, but came up empty.

He turned back to her, his rage moving inside him like fire. How could she do this to herself? Did she not think of the dangers? He moved back to the bed and looked under neath it, but it wasn’t there. He stood back up and looked at her again searching. One of her arms hung limply over the side of the bed where head left it, the other was hidden under her pillow.

He gently lifted her head and pillow and found what he was looking for. The small vial was nearly empty with maybe a weeks worth of black thick potion left. He held it up against the light and sure enough the potion began to boil and bubble. He grimaced at the sight and placed the vial in his pocket just as the Herald entered the cabin his arms full of what Solas had asked for. Dorian was close behind him holding a pot full of hot water, he ducked in and place the pot next to the rest of the ingredients on the desk.

“Here are the portions you requested. I haven’t got any ideal what could do that to some one.” The apothecary said as he walked in to the cabin “Is there anything else I can do?” the man asked as he placed the potions on the desk also.

Solas shook his head “No. Leave.Everyone.Now.” he said through clenched teeth not turning to face the men, keeping his eyes firmly on the Isanami’s sleeping form. They didn’t question him, and did as he asked “We will be outside if you need anything else.” Jericho said as he closed the door.

Solas looked at the woman again before he sat at the desk and began mixing the ingredients. As he combined them he stirred in his own mana strengthening the potion, not leaving anything to chance. He poured the contents of the cauldron into a mug then went back to the side of the bed.

Working quickly he lifted her head and tip the cup to her lips, letting the liquid fill her mouth. He placed the mug on the floor and began massaging her throat forcing her to swallow the potion. He then placed his hands on either side of her head and pushed his magic through her body.

He watched her closely as her breath quickened and her eyes began to flutter. Satisfied with his work he removed his hands from her head, he waited for her to gain full consciousness.

 

 

 

I slowly opened my eyes with a bitter taste in my mouth and a strong awareness that I wasn’t alone. I knew who it was and that they were extremely angry or upset about something from the intense burning in my back. I blink against the light of the fireplace as I slowly sat up in my bed.

 _ _“_ You are awake.” _it wasn’t a question but an observation, and the calmness in his voice was contradictory to the pain in my back causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I turned my head in his direction, where he sat at my desk, taking in his seemingly calm body language. I wasn’t fooled by his cool demeanor and could see the rage bubbling just under the surface.

 _“So it seems.”_  I say guarded narrowing my eyes as I watched him stand from the desk and make his way to the side of my bed.

 _ _“_ Yes so it seems. _”__ he repeated looking down at me, his eyes boring into me.

 _“My Lord…”_ I started.

 _“Don’t. My Lord me Isanami. What were you thinking taking this into your body?”_ he question his voice low as he pulled out a small vial of black liquid.

 _ _“_ I told you I was having trouble controlling my dream.” _I answer in short.

 _“And I offered to help you with that.”_  he sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed as he looked down at the vial.

 _“Yeah, then you forced me to remember things that I wasn’t ready for.”_ I sneered flashing back to that event in my mind.

_“I did it because I felt it was what you needed, that it would be good for you to remember the things that truly mattered.”_

_“Its not your place to think you know what I need.”_ I say sharply. He snapped his head towards me and growled.

 _“Oh I beg to differ.”_  he leaned closer to me and waved the potion vial in my face _“Left to your own devices, you put yourself in danger. You seem to lack the ability to make any decisions that do not put your life at risk.”_ he said harshly.

Without thinking I raised my hand and slapped him across his cheek __“_ You have some nerve Fen. Night after night I am terrorized by horrible things from my past. Things that no one should ever relive but yet I am forced to!” _I yelled raising my hand to strike him again but he caught my wrist before I could land the blow.

He stands from the bed pulling me to my feet _“See you’re proving my point Isanami. Your uncontrollable power and indomitable focus might have you believing that you are invincible, unkillable thus making you incapable of thinking about your own well being.”_

Huh indomitable focus? I almost laughed at the term, I had not expected him to say that to me. It didn’t matter though, he was pissing me off with his unwanted lecture.  
_“I don’t feel invincible, but I do feel that you don’t have any right judging me for what I do with my life. Its not up to you and it shouldn't matter to you what I choose to do.”_ I tried to pull out of his grasp but his hold was strong. I tugged on my arm stepping back but he kept the distance between us slight, and backed me into a wall.

 _“You matter to me, everything you do matters to me. I will not stand idly by  and allow you to cause harm to yourself. This-”_ he held the vial back in front of my face as he pushed me up against the wall my pinning my hand above my head. _"This is not the solution to your problems.”_ He threw the small glass bottle to the floor where it shattered and spilled its contents then grabbed my free hand and pulled it above my head also.

 _ _“_ No! Why? Why would you just throw away my only means of peaceful sleep? Do you just enjoy seeing me suffer?” _I yell frustrated as I straining against his hold.

He shook his head and placed his knee between my legs _“You know I would much rather see you faced down, tied up and begging me to shatter you with my touch, then witness you suffering.”_ he raised his knee higher as he spoke. _“As I told you before there are many ways to dealing with your problem and we will try them all.”_ he whispered his knee hitting the apex between my legs.

 _ _“_ Fen…” _I gasp at the contact, forgetting my frustrations.

 _“Let me assist you Isanami in solving you problems. I want whats best for you is that so bad?”_  he asked softly as he ran his other head gently across my cheek.

I looked into his eyes and saw that his anger was no longer present. I had expected him to be mean, but he was being…caring, tender?

 _“No its not bad.”_ I whisper looking away from his eyes, my cheek burning from his touch. There was suddenly a scratching noise at the door accompanied by a deep growl.

 _“Ah your wolf worries for you. I will find you in the fade tonight to place wards for you. I wont try anything, you have my word.”_ he removed his knee and released my hands.

I wanted to tell him about the Nightmare, to tell him that the barriers weren’t mine. But he distracted me as he leaned in close and kissed my forehead. His warm soft lips traced a path to my cheek but hesitated at my lips.

He pulled back and looked at me his gaze heavy _“I want to but I will wait till you come to me.”_ he whispered as he took a step back and turned for the door.

I watched as he left and as Frost entered the cabin running up beside me sniffing at me in concern. I shiver as I slide down the wall too stunned and confused to move. There were so many emotions fear, uncertainty, anxiety confusion but most of all I felt turned the fuck on. But why?


	9. In My Heart, He Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Its off to hell i go-" dwarves from borderlands

_“You are not well, Perhaps you should have stayed back at camp.”_ A concerned Solas suggests as he reaches over to stable me after an embarrassing stumble of my own two feet. We were standing outside the windmill with the secret passage in Redcliffe, preparing for the meeting with the Magister Alexius.

“ _I’m fine, My Lord.”_ I say in a croak like response as I push his hand away with my own shaky hand and steady myself against the wall of the windmill.

 _“I recognize the symptoms of sleep deprivation Isanami, the dark marks under your eyes, your lack of appetite, sudden sensitivity to light and the constant stumbling._ ” he listed eyeing me for a reaction. I rolled my eyes at him, but I knew he was right. Between every symptom he listed plus the muscle fatigue and non-stop headaches I felt like the walking dead.

 _“I said I was fine.”_ I repeat glaring at him as he moved closer to me.

“You have not slept in six days Isanami. You are not fine.” He said raising his voice an octave switching to common and glancing towards the seeker nearby.

Cassandra who had been watching us quietly raised an eyebrow “Is this true? You haven't been sleeping?” the seeker asked with a voice full of the concern the whole group had been showing me since Solas woke me up two weeks earlier.

I shoot her a dirty look shaking my head “Don’t.” I say looking at the woman who respected me enough to just nod her head, dropping the subject instantly. Unlike Solas, Cassandra understood that sometimes it is just better to leave things alone.

 _“Your lack of sleep is compromising your decision making and that can put us all in danger. I know you are still plagued by your dreams but if you would just drop your barriers I could assist you.”_ he said switching back to our native language. He had been unable to enter my dreams the first night I went without the sleep potion leaving me at the mercy of the Nightmare, reliving a memory that was just…too much.

“ _I told you before that they are not my barriers, I have no control over them.”_ I say crossing my arms across my chest.

 _“Then who’s are they? You said you would let me help you , so tell me.”_ he said taking a step closer to me. I look him in the eyes wanting to tell him all about the Nightmare but how could I without letting it slip that we were to cross his path later in our quest in defeating Corypheus.

I shake my head and sigh deeply _“Look I can’t say who at the moment, but once we are done here I’ll sleep.”_ I place my hand on his chest and sway slightly _“I promise I’ll let you help me.”_ he looked down at my hand on his chest and nodded his head slowly before placing his hand over mine. He was worried about me and with good reason, I wanted to set his mind to ease even if it was with lies.

 _“I can see that you are clearly exhausted, I will make sure you do as you say.”_ he whispered giving me a slight smirk as he searched my face with his stunning grayish blue eyes. I knew he wanted to push the subject but was trying to not piss me off. I look up at him and smile a small smile before removing my hand and yawning.

Before more could be said about the matter the door to the Windmill tower slowly opened and Jericho walked out a grim and serious expression set on his handsome face. “Liliana and Dorian are set and are leading the scouts through the tunnels to get into position. Are we ready to move out?” I jumped away from Solas tripping over my feet.

‘Yes we are ready and should hurry before anyone notices our absence from the town.” I say as I steady myself and stand straight.

The herald nodded his eyes lingering on me “Are you oka-” he started but I shake my head and began leading us down the hill to the Redcliffe castle.

 

 

The Redcliffe castle was large but dull and depressing with its gray stone walls sparse furniture and the lack of lighting that cast eerie shadows everywhere. The sounds of our foot steps echoed loudly in the grand hall as we were ushered in through the sizable wooden doors to the castle. There were no fancy wall hangings, no ornate rugs or any paintings about, it looked almost as if the castle had been stripped of anything that would have made it welcoming.

The Venatori who lead us to the main hall was stiff and he stood in front keeping us under his watchful eyes until the magister was ready to see us, the mans eyes were constantly flickering to me under his mask. I was uncomfortable under his gaze and was about to question him when Jericho spoke.

“Announce us.” the herald said in a harsh voice I watched him noticing how tense he was. He did not want to be here, it seems.

“The Magister’s invitation was for Master Trevelyan and the Lady Protector alone.” said a plain circle mage with blond hair and forgettable features. The man looked from Jericho to me before continuing. “The others must wait here.”

I scoff and cross my arms and stare down the man as the Herald responds “Where we go they go.”

The man shoots Jericho a frustrated look before shaking his head and turning, waving us to follow him pass a few more Venatori and through the doors that lead to the throne room. I stayed towards the back of the group watching the vints nod at each other in signal. They were a suspicious group of men, their eyes cold beneath their mask and their hands forever reaching for their staffs.

As we entered the throne room and approached the throne, I counted the number of Venatori present. Six, no seven surrounded us with Alexius slouched on the throne gazing lazily down at us his eyes lingering on me. When our eyes met he sat up and smiled a small smile that made my skin crawl. His son a pale man stood to the right of him and even from where I stood I could make out the black veins of corruption creeping up out of the collar of his armor.   

“My Lord Magister the agents of the Inquisition have arrived.” the blond haired man announced as he stepped to the side.

Alexius nodded to the man and stood up from the throne as he spoke “My friend its so good to see you again. And your associates of course. Lady Protector it is an…honor.” he said the last part with such venom I half expected him to retched but he continued. “I’m sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties.”

“Are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate.” interjected the raven haired eleven mage Fiona who had been standing off to the side of the door we had entered through. She was shorter then me adorned in circle mage robes her short hair causing her to look younger then she was.

“Fiona you would not have turn your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives.” the Magister chided.

“No.” I say bluntly to tired to pretend politeness “ I think she has a right to speak on the behalf of her followers.” I turn to the mage and give a small welcoming smile “By all mean First enchanter Be my guest to speak as you wish.” I look back to the Magister’s offending face his smugness gone as he shoots daggers at me with his eyes.

“Thank you.” Fiona said as she stood more proudly her back straight her face set and determined.  

Alexius stares at me for a few seconds before turning away and settling back in his throne. “The Inquisition needs mages to close the breach and I have them, so what shall you offer in exchange?” he tilted his head to the side as he waited for our response.

“The Inquisition has many backers among the Orlesian nobility. I’m sure we can find suitable compensation.” Jericho's voice boomed through out the hall.  

The magister looked bored with that response as if he had expected something else. “I’m not sure what the Orlesian nobility have to offer that I don’t already posses.”

“They know everything father.” Felix says softly looking down at his father.

Alexius turned in the throne and looked up at his son brows scrunched in confusion “Felix what have you done?”

“Your son is concerned that you are evolved in something terrible.” Jericho answers for Felix.  

“So says the thieves.” Alexius said raising his voice as he turned back to us.Thieves? Was I being included in this?

“Do you think you can turn my son against me? You walk into my stronghold with your stolen marks.” Alexius stands back up as he continues. “A gift you don’t even understand and think your in control. Your nothing but a mistake. And you-” he pointed to me but I cut him of.

“Stolen marks? Your leader is the thief, fooling with magic __he__  doesn’t understand! Ignorant! The lot of you! It was my peo-” someone placed a hand on my shoulder stopping my rant.

 _“Not now.”_ Solas whispered removing his hand but staying close as the Herald spoke. I clamp my mouth shut and seethe silently as I glare up at the arrogant magister.

“If you know so much enlighten us. Tell me what these marks on our hands is for.” Jericho said calmly.

“It belongs to your betters. You wouldn't even began to understand its purpose.” the man said. I tensed and opened my mouth to let him have it but Solas place his hand back on my shoulder gripping it slightly. I look over at him agitated to see him shaking his head in warning. I huff but stay quiet.

“Father listen to yourself.” pleaded the Magister's son. “Do you know what you sound like?”

“He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous cliche everyone expects us to be.” Dorian says as he made his entrance through a side door of the throne room.

Alexius looked to the dashing mage his brows furrowing deeper “Dorian, I gave you a chance to be apart of this. You turned me down. The elder one has power you would not believe. He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes.’ he said in a sort of reverent way that made me sick.

“That is who you server? The one who killed the divine?’ Jericho questioned taking a step forward.

“Soon he will become a god. He will make the world bow to mages once more. We will rule from the Boeric ocean to the frozen seas.” he said ominously.

“You cant involve my people in this!” exclaimed Fiona, speaking on the behalf of her people for the first time. Her face was contorted with anger and fear, her hands balled up into fist at her side.

“Alexius this is exactly what you and I talked about never wanting to happen.” Dorian said as he approached the magister in front of us. “Why you support this?” Alexius turned away from us and looked down at the ground seemingly ignoring Dorian.

“Stop it father. Give up the Venatori. Let the southern mages fight the breach and lets go home.” Felix begged trying to reach his father.

Alexius turned to face his son, his face pained as he looked upon his ailing child “No its the only way Felix. He can save you.” he says gravely.

“Save me?”

“There is a way. The Elder One promised, if I undo the mistake at the temple.” the man tried to explain.

“I’m going to die, you need to accept that.” Felix said but his father was beyond listening.

“Seize them Venatori! The elder one demands this mans life, leave the elven woman alive!” he commanded pointing at me and Jericho.

Suddenly one of the Venatori cried out in pain as his throat was sliced from behind. Alexius watched in horror as the rest of his men followed suit, dropping to the ground dead at the hands of the Inquisition scouts.

“Your men are dead Alexius!” Jericho announced waving his hand around at the bodies on the floor.

‘You are a mistake!” the magister growled as he raised his hand “You should never have existed!” the mad man growled as he begin to channel his mana in to the amulet he held in his out reached hand. The amulet began to levitate as green magic danced around it. I felt the pull of the fade as the veil began to thin around us, summoning a dagger I tensed.

In front of me Dorian drew his staff and posed to block the spell “No!” he shouted as he swung his staff sending a force of magic knocking the amulet out of the Magister's hand.

There was a loud boom as a green rift opened up in front of us, almost just like the one that- suddenly I felt a familiar tug on myself it was strong sucking me towards the rift. I tried to grab on to something but my fingers failed to grasp anything as I was sucked into the rift-into complete blackness.

 

 

With a bright flash of green light I in a way that I did not feel the impact, whats even more odd is that I landed on my feet and to top it off I was so full of energy despite my lack of sleep. I looked around myself and saw the Herald and Dorian picking themselves up from the ground dripping wet from the water that flooded the cell we landed in.

I looked down at my body wondering why I was completely dry and gasped at my current form. _ _Not again, not again! Why does this keep happening? Was I dead again?__ I thought to myself as I took in my translucent glowing ethereal form. The bright white light exuding from my body cast shifting shadows over the grimy walls of the cell. The mark in my hand shined brighter then ever almost blinding.

 As I stood there thinking about my form I could hear, no more like feel a soft song vibrating through me. It sounded out of tune and felt wrong like it was missing notes. The song raked my ears and nerves putting me on edge. Where was it coming from?

I was so distracted in my thoughts I had not noticed the two masked Venatori guards that had attacked Jericho and Dorian. It was at the sounds of the guards dropping to the ground with groans of pain that pulled me out of my mind.

“Interesting. It’s probably not what Alexius intended, the Rift must have moved us to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy.” Dorian explained as I tuned in. They had not notice me yet but as the Tevinter mage spun around to take in his surroundings his shocked eyes fell on me.

“Um…well you see…this form is my…uh…” I stutter trying to find an explanation for my form, my light flickering with every word.

“Did you exit the rift like this? Are you in any pain in this form?Are you tangible?” Dorian questioned excitedly as he reached out to answer his own question.

“No, no and yes in that order.” I say touching his hand with my own. He clapped his hands almost giddy and walked a circle around me.

“This!This is fascinating! So you entered the rift like this, yes?How can that be?” his coal lined eyes were bright and looked upon me with curiosity while Jericho stayed silent his face full of suspicion.

  “I think I was pulled from my body and sucked into the rift.” I say not quite sure how it happened this time.

“You seem rather calm for someone who just got pulled from their body.” Jericho stated still eyeing me suspiciously, his arms folded across his broad chest.

“Yeah, well that is because I have been in this form before.” I say slowly not really wanting to go into detail.

“You have!?Oh you must tell me all about this form. How did it happen the first time? Perhaps there is a common denominator between the two occurrences.” Dorian said most likely forgetting our current situation.  

“Your not suspicious of me? Not thinking I’m a demon or something?” I question him back, surprised that he was taking my appearance in stride.

He gave a light chuckle “Maker no, of course not! I'm from Menrathus where you can come across all kinds of magic. One learns to expect the unexpected then find a way to explain it.”

I looked towards Jericho who was watching us silently, I could tell from the look on his face he was still unsure about me.

“What are you? How do we know that you are not a demon?” he said quietly in a way that told me he knew I wasn’t a demon but was afraid of me anyways.

“Jericho, look there isn’t much time for me to explain this form- not that I know much about it but when this is over, I will tell you everything. I promise, you just need to trust me now, we need to get out of here.” he looked at me for a second before nodding his head and turning away from me bending over to inspect the dead Venatori on the floor.

“Alright so the last thing I remember, we were in the castle hall.” he said standing up now holding the key to the cell.

“Yes, lets see. If we are still in the castle it isn't. Ah! Of course its not simply where its when. “ Dorian exclaimed as he moved closer to Jericho “Alexius used the amulet as a focus, it moved us through time!”

“Moved us through time, can that even be done?” The herald asked shaking his head in disbelief.

“Normal I would say no. Obviously Alexius has taken his research to exciting new heights.”

“Ill say.” I interjected getting a wink from the mage who continued on.

“We’ve seen his temporal riffs before, this time we simply passed through one. Lets look around, see where the rift took us. Then we can figure out how to get back. If we can.” he finished gloomily.

 “What was it Alexius trying to do?” Jericho asked, walking to the cell door and unlocking it with the key he found.

“I believe his original plan was to remove you from time completely. If that happened you would never have been at the Temple of Sacred Ashes or mangled his elder ones plan. I think your surprise in the castle hall made him reckless. He tossed us into the rift before he was ready. I countered it, the magic went wild and here we are. Make sense?” Dorian asked following close behind the Herald who was leading us down a long corridor infested with red lyrium towards a set of stairs. As we past the corrupted lyrium the song in my head would get louder.

“Yeah a little. But what about Isanami? If he was trying to delete my existence why would he throw her into the rift? He said his elder one wanted her alive.” asked the Herald.

“I don’t really think he had a choice. The moment the rift was opened it felt like something yanked me from my body. It was instant.” I say stopping at a large growth of red lyrium in the wall at the juncture where the hall split into two stairways in different directions. The broken song was loud in my ears vibrating through me. It was enticing and revolting at the same time. I raised my hand to the lyrium and felt the song speed up, sending wave after wave of vibrations through me. It wasn’t painful but it was unsettling.

“Isanami!” Jericho yelled his voice sounding far away.   

‘Huh?” I said shaking my head of the fog the song seemed to have put me in.

“Are you okay? You were just standing there staring at the red lyrium as if in a trance glowing brighter.” He asked his eyes soft and no longer full of suspicion.

“I..Um no I’m alright” I stutter running my hand through my ethereal hair. “Do you hear that ?” I asked moving away from the lyrium.

“ Hear what?” Dorian countered looking at me in a studious manner.

“Music. Like out of tune music. It doesn’t matter” I answered knowing that they didn’t hear it.

Jericho shook his head and lead us up the stairs to the right. The lyrium was everywhere, the song loud and itching in my ears. As we walked through another door and down yet another lyrium infested corridor we heard actual singing.

“Andraste blessed me. Andraste blessed me. My tears are my sins. My sins. My sins.” the singing got louder as we approached one of the cells, we came across a lone elven mage. I recognized him from the game, his robes were ragged and torn, his skin a sickly gray and he was malnourished. But he was not infected with red lyrium, yet.

Jericho moved closer to the bars of the cell to get a better look at the young man. “What have they done to you?” he asked his voice heavy and sad. The man did not answer instead he repeated the chant like song and gazed through us like we weren’t even there.

“Andraste guide me. Andraste guide me…”

Jericho looked at the man a little longer before turning away and shaking his head. “His mind must be gone.” the Herald muttered as he lead us down the next corridor with cells on either side some littered with bones or corpses others with just the lyrium whose wrong song grew louder.

We passed through the door at the end of the hall coming to an intersection with three doors connected to the suspending metal floor that seemed to hang hundreds of feet in the air above a roaring river. The bridges to two of the doors were down, guarded by a handful of the Venatori guards. The third bridge was not down and blocked the path to the main castle.

There was water flowing down the walls of this dimly lit area and like what we had seen so far there was lyrium everywhere, growing out of the walls, protruding from the ground and though the ceiling was high there ominous red glow up there to.

Jericho crouched down as he notice the guards, and turned to Dorian and me “Can you fight in that form Isanami?” he asked looking directly at me. It was a question I had not asked myself. I closed my eyes and felt for a mana well the source of my magic. I couldn’t find it but I felt mana in me flowing freely without restraint. It was as if… as if this form of mine was a construct of just my soul and mana.

I opened my eyes and attempted to summon a dagger and succeeded. The dagger was different from my normal daggers, it shined gold and was wickedly curved with a richly ornate hilt that was encrusted with a multitude of ethereal gems. I summoned its twin and tested the weight of the daggers in my hands, they were light and felt just right in my grip.

“Yes. It seems that I can fight in this form.” I said reassuringly to the Herald who was now looking at me with wonder.

“Alright lets go.” the man said as he stood up and began flinging fire at the group of guards. Dorian followed sending tendrils of lightning through the men. I fade stepped in and out of the group of guards nicking their vitals with my daggers that cut cleanly.

One of the men broke from the group and charged at Jericho with the bladed end of his staff. I twirled around dispelling one of my daggers and grabbed the man buy the neck of his armor and slammed him down on the ground. The guards helmet flew of and rolled off the side of the platform.

 As I saddled the man and raised my other dagger to finish him off I saw that he was infected with the red lyrium and waves of the twisted song hit me, vibrating through me. My dagger disappeared as the song filled my head and blurred my vision.

“NO!” I growled shaking my head to clear the fog. Without thinking I grasped the sides of the mans face and pushed my magic through his head. The man gave a blood curdling scream and thrashed beneath me as I sent my magic flowing through his mind. The man stiffened and went still the song no longer coming from him.

“What was that?” Dorian asked from behind me. I turned to him and saw that the other guards had been dealt with.

I shrug my shoulders standing up from the mans body “I don’t know.” I say looking down at the dead guard. His eyes were wide open the pupils expanded and foggy white, his face frozen in perpetual terror, like he had seen something awful.

 “Well what ever it was, it worked.On all of them.” Jericho said placing his staff on his back.

“What?” I was not sure I had heard him correctly. He looked to me and waved to the guard limp at his feet. I walked over to the dead man and knelt down removing his helmet. His face was just as the other guard eyes foggy, with the expression of frozen horror.

I look up at Jericho who shrugged “You gave off a wave of magic that exploded from you and they all dropped to the ground and began screaming and thrashing about.” he held his hand out and helped me up.

‘I… I don’t know what that was.” I say quietly though I was sure it had something to do with the red lyrium. But how would I explain my suspicion to them when they couldn’t even hear the song.

“We don’t have time to figure it out.” The herald said turning and heading for the door on the right.

We walked down a set of stairs that landed us in a small room with two doors, Jericho opened the first. It was another room with more cells, more dead bodies and more red lyrium, but it was empty of anything of use to us.

“What are we looking for exactly Dorian?” Jericho asked as he made his way out of the room and towards the second door.

Dorian shrugged “I’m not entirely sure. If we could find something that gives us a hint to where in time we landed, that would be a great start.” he said following Jericho through the door. Down another set of stairs we went coming to another room that was flooded with filthy water plagued with large growths of lyrium and two doors on either side of us.

We went through the door to the right and as we walked into the room someone called out.

“Is someone there?” I rushed to the cell pushing passed the Herald and Dorian. I grasped the bars as I laid eyes on the broad back of Solas.

 _“Fen its me !”_ I exclaimed as the elven god turned and jumped at the sight of me.  

He looked…bad, his shocked eyes glowed a dull red and there was a red fog around him. His once luxurious hair now lacked its beautiful luster and his healthy  skin was grayish with a sickly look to it .“ _ _Isanami?!__ ” He looked at me then to Jericho his eyes widening even more. “You’re alive? We saw you die!” his voice sounded wrong and as I stood there I could hear the song in him.

“The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time. We just got here, so to speak.” Dorian explained calmly while Jericho opened the door to the cell.

“Can you reverse the process? You could return and obviate the events of the last year. It may not be too late…” Solas trailed off as he turned his eyes to me.

“Dorian thinks we can go back to our own time if we find Alexius.” Jericho answered.

Solas nodded his head in understanding “That makes sense. He sent you. He would be the key. But you know nothing of this world. It is far worse then you understand. Alexius served a master, the Elder One. He reigns now, unchallenged.’ he said in a cold hate filled voice as he continued. “His minions assassinated Empress Celene and used the chaos to invade the south. This Elder One commands an army of demons. After you stop Alexius, you must be prepared.”

 “We can stop all of it before it happens.” the herald reassured Solas.

“Good. But remember this future. It may help you prevent it. This world is an abomination. It must never come to pass.” He turned to me once more and raised a hand to my cheek _“And you, Your being here explains so much.”_ he said softly in our native tongue.

“We will be outside come when you are ready.” Jericho said clearing his throat as he looked from Solas to me and tugged Dorian away through the door closing it behind them.

 _ _“_ What happened to me, did I die?”_ I asked Solas looking into his eyes.

He shook his head removing his hand from my cheek _“In a sense no. Your physical form lived but all that was left was that thing. It kept control of your body and wrecked mayhem across Thedas. In the end it was captured by the Elder One and put under his control. It no longer wears your face. _”__  I shudder at what he said.

It had been a while since I thought of that thing inside me and hearing that it had been loose and under control of Corypheus made me feel worse.

 _ _“_ I’am so sorry.”_ I say looking away from him, not able to meet his eyes after hearing what my monster had done.

 _‘Don’t be, I am relived that you are here. I waited for this form of you to come to me in the fade, but when you didn’t, I feared the worst.”_ he smiled a small smile. __“_ We must hurry. _”__  he said giving me one more look before heading to the door.

 

 

After some back tracking through the flooded infested lower cells of the castle we walked through another door and were greeted with prayer.

“The light shall lead her safely through the paths of this world and into the next. For she who trust in the Maker, fire is her water.” We approached the cell coming across Cassandra sitting cross legged on the floor. She looked up at us and shook her head in disbelief.

 “You’ve returned to us. Can it be? Has Andraste given us another chance?” she had the same look as Solas, eyes glowing a dull red and the red lyrium fog dancing around her. “Maker forgive me. I failed you. I failed everyone. The end must truly be upon us if the dead return to life.” she continued as Jericho used the key to open the cell.

“I’m not back from the dead, Cassandra. I just got… Well this is hard to explain.” Jericho said attempting to explain.

“I was there. The magister obliterated you with a gesture.” Cassandra said standing up and dusting herself off.

“Alexius sent us forward in time. If we find him, we may be able to return to the present.” Dorian interjected.

“Go back? Then… Can you make it so that none of this ever took place?” she asked stepping out of the cell.

“And I’ll make sure Alexius suffers for his crimes.” Jericho answered with a nod of his head.

“None of this will happen. Andraste please let that be true.” the seeker said walking over to a chest at the end of the room. When she turned around she had a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. She looked at us her eyes burning with determination then she saw me.

“You!” she gasped pointing the sword at me “What are you?! Why are you here? After the things you have done!” she sneered her eyes boring into me with added hatred.

I step back and raised my hands in surrender ‘It-it wasn’t me, Cassandra.” I stuttered.

“Cassandra what are you doing?” shouted Jericho as he jumped in front of me, his arms out blocking me from her view.

“She killed Iron bull, Cullen and hundreds more and betrayed us to the Elder One! She can not be trusted!” she yelled.

“Calm down Cassandra, there must be a mistake. Isanami came through the rift with us.” the herald said trying to calm the seeker.

“I explained to you before Seeker the rift must have pulled her from her physical form allowing a demon to take control. It was not Isanami who committed the numerous crimes you accuse of her. ” Solas said calmly. I looked over Jericho’s shoulder at Cassandra and saw her look from Solas then to me as her shoulders dropped and she lowered her sword.

“I-I am sorry.” she said as she sheathed her sword.

“A demon took over Isanami’s empty body?” Jericho asked relaxing and stepping back from in front of me.

“Yes. A very powerful one. For a while it pretended to be her then it betrayed the Inquisition to the Elder One.” Solas explained as he walked over and stood beside me.  
__Hmm, so that's the lie he told them.__  I though to myself as I looked over to him. I was grateful for him keeping my secret.

“Wow this is a lot to take in.” Jericho said shaking his head. “So a demon took over Isanami’s body and killed Cullen and the iron bull?” he asked trying to get the gruesome facts right.

“Yes and many others all across Thedas. Some in the form of an Elven woman, others in the form of a…of a griffon.” the woman explained.

Jericho turned to me confused “A Griffon? He repeated.

“Yes I can turn into a Griffon, amongst other things.” I muttered turning away and heading for the door.

“You continue to be of great fascination! You must show me this Griffon form when we get back.” Dorian exclaimed excitedly as he followed close behind.

 

 

 

We continued to comb the cells of the castles looking for a way to lower the draw bridge to the main area. We had gone through the door on the left of the floating platform intersection and came to a flooded room with a door at the end. We went through it, entering another flooded room peppered with large chunks of red lyrium jutting from the walls and floor. Jericho walked around the room inspecting the cells looking for more of our people. Not seeing anyone he turned back to us but stopped short when he looked into the cell at the end to the left.

“You’re… Alive? How?” said a faint feminine voice. As the rest of us filed into the room and approached the cell I could see that the woman was Fiona the First Enchanter. She was facing a wall leaning on her arm, the bottom half of her looked to be consumed entirely by red lyrium. She looked bad.

Being this close to her I heard the song louder then ever before. It was earsplitting and it felt as if it was scratching my brain. I backed away from the cell distancing myself from her in an attempt to keep my head clear of the fog that was attempting to blind me.

‘I saw you…disappear…into the rift.” she continued laboriously.

Jericho grasped the bars to the cell door trying to get a better look at her. “I don’t understand. What’s happened to you?” he asked.

“Red lyrium… Its a disease.” the eleven mage fell into a coughing fit before continuing. “The longer you’re near it… Eventually… You become this. Then they mined your corpse for more.”

“Can you tell us the date? It’s very important.” Dorian urged the woman.

Fiona coughed again before answering “Harvestmere… 9:42 Dragon.”

“Nine forty-two?” Dorian repeated shocked. “Then we missed an entire year!”

“I’m here now. No matter what, I’ll drive them all back to Tevinter.” Jericho promised.

“Not Tevinter…” Fiona said faintly, slowly shaking her head. “Alexius... Serves the Elder One. More powerful… than the Maker… No one …Challenges him and lives.” the woman continued her body shuddering,

“That Magister's going to regret he didn’t just kill me!” Jericho said angrily his hands balling into fist.

“Our only hope is to find the amulet that Alexius used to send us here. If it still exists, I can use it to reopen the rift at the exact spot we left. Maybe.” Dorian explained, not sounds so sure.

“Good.” Fiona said looking back to the wall.

“I said __Maybe.__ It might also turn us into paste.” Dorian said trying to clarify his words.

Fiona shook her head “You __must__  try. Your spymaster, Liliana… she is here. Find her. Quickly… before the Elder One…Learns you’re here.” She then waved us away as she fell into another coughing fit.

We all turned to the door and rushed through the halls towards the stairs that led to the drawbridge.

“If red lyrium is an infection…Maker, why is it coming out of the walls?” Dorian asked still running behind us.

“Are you sure you want to find out?” Jericho said as we came to the floating metal platform intersection.

Just as we made it onto the platform the drawbridge dropped with a loud booming noise and four Venatori and a mage emerged from the entrance.

“There they are! Get them!” yelled one of the guards as he ran at us his sword out in front.

We fanned out with Dorian stunning the man and the rest of the guards with a Lighting bolt and Jericho immolated them where they stood. Cassandra shouted a war cry as she rushed in to the group of men dashing at the Venatori mage in the back. I fade stepped to the man feeling the coolness of Solas’s protective barrier slide over my form.

I sunk my summoned daggers deeply into the shoulders of the mage who scream loudly as reached wildly behind him grasping for the daggers I had already dispelled. I re-summoned them again and slid one of the blades across his throat as I thrust the other into his back. He gave a gurgled whimper as he slumped to the ground, lifeless.

 

 

 

It didn’t take us long to find Liliana. As we rushed through the endless corridors of the torture chambers we heard the screams of nameless Venatori victims behind the many doors along the way.

“There is no Maker. The Elder One has taken all that is His and will soon rule from His city.” a sinister male voice said behind one of the doors.

“That still doesn’t make him a God.” a weak voice of a female replied. There was a loud sound of someone being slapped followed by the woman crying out.

“There is no God but he Elder One. The Maker is Dead! Say it.” the man commanded. The voices grew louder as we came closer to the door at the end of the hall.

“Never! I’ll die a good Andrastian before living a second as one of you!” the woman exclaimed just before there was a whooshing sound of fire and her screams echoed through the hall.

Jericho attempted to push open the door but it was locked, he kicked at it angrily letting out a roar before hunching his shoulders and turning away. Still shaking he lead us further down the hall checking the doors until we came to one that was unlocked. He slowly open the door just in time for us to see a masked Venatori hold a knife to Liliana's neck who was hanging from the ceiling by her arms.

“You will break!” The man threatened, roughly grabbing a fist full of her orange hair.

“I will die first!” she said as she looked down at the man. The door banged against the wall causing the Masked man to turn to us, letting down his guard. Liliana glanced at us from behind him “Or you will.” she said as she lifted her legs up and wrapped them around the unaware mans neck.

The man struggled to free himself as she squeezed the life from him with her thighs. With a sharp twist she snapped the mans neck, his body dropping limp onto the floor.

“You’re alive!” the spymaster said in a croaking voice as Jericho grabbed the keys from the dead mans waist and unlocked her chains.

“We never died in the first place. Alexius miscalculated.” He said taking a step back from her.

She looked dead, her flesh gray and sickly like she hadn’t seen the sun in ages. There were old cuts mixed with fresh ones on every inch of skin we could see and her eyes…well let just say there was nothing in them. They looked dead just like her.

“Then it will be his last mistake. Do you have weapons? “ she asked taking everything in stride. Jericho nodded “Good. The Magister's probably in his chambers.” she said with venom pushing past us and walking to a chest by the door.

“You…aren’t curious how we got here?” Dorian asked as we watched the spymaster rummage through the chest.

“No.” she said plainly standing back up and placing her bow and quiver on her back before turning to face us again.

“Alexius sent us into the future. This. His victory, his Elder One- it was never meant to be.’ Dorian tried to explain to her but she looked at him blankly.

“We need to find Alexius and reverse the spell.” Jericho said telling her the plan.

“If we can get back to our present time, we can prevent this future from ever happening.” Dorian continued.

“And mages always wonder why people fear them. No one should have this power.” Liliana stated angrily.

Dorian nodded his head in agreement “It’s dangerous and unpredictable. Before the Breach, nothing we did--”

“Enough!” Liliana demanded “This is all pretend to you, some future you hope will never exist.” she pointed to herself “I suffered. The whole world suffered. It was real.” She looked from him to Jericho then her eyes fell on me. The look she gave me was one of hate and distrusts, but unlike Cassandra she did not seem to want to attack me instead she turned away shaking her head.

 

 

 

“I believe the red lyrium shards we found are the keys to this door.” Dorian explained as he stood in front of the large door in the main hall of the Redcliffe castle. We had closed four rifts saw that the Breach now dominated the sky and had fought through numerous demons and vints alike. And now we stood at this enormous door ready to face Alexius. Ready to fix this mess.

“What a magnificent door. Where did Alexius find this? How did he even move it in here?” Dorian continued as he fiddled with the shards trying to place them in the right places.

“I recognize this door. It is elven, many noble families had one for the entrances to their vaults. The Evanuris used them for their temples.” I say looking to Solas who was standing beside me. He had not left my side since leaving his cell and as we rushed about the castle his hand was always brushing against mine. When I would look to him he would hold my gaze and in his eyes I saw so many emotions that I could not understand.

“Yes well yet another thing we have stolen from your people.” Dorian said sadly before stepping back from the door. The keys glowed green as a mechanical sound rang through out the hall and the door opened slowly on its own.

We marched into the throne room to find Alexius standing before the roaring fireplace with his back to us. Gone was his throne and his men the room was in disarray with rubble littered about. The only other person in the room was his son who sat hunched over cowering on the floor by his fathers feet. He looked ill and gaunt, his cheeks sunken and his skin a sick gray. It was a sorry sight and though the Magister had brought it upon himself I could not help but feel a small ping of sympathy for him. Small.

“Alexius! It’s time to answer for your crimes!” Jericho called out to the magister, his face full of rage and hate for the man.

“And here you are, finally.” Alexius said slowly not at all surprised by our arrival. “I knew you would appear again. Not that it would be now. But I knew I hadn’t destroyed you. My final failure.” the mans voice was heavy and though his back was still turned to us I knew his faced matched his voice.

“Was it worth it?” Dorian asked not so cheerful now. “Everything you did to the world? To yourself?” the young man looked mournful seeing his mentor like this.

The magister kept his back to us. “It doesn’t matter now. All we can do is wait for the end.” as he spoke I saw Liliana inching away from the group and towards the magister.

I grabbed her hand “Don’t kill his son. It will only cause us trouble.” I whispered to the sickly woman but she snatched her hand out of my grasp.

“The time when you advice was wanted has past, seer.” She sneered hatefully at me as she cloaked herself in shadows becoming invisible.

I sigh and tune back to the conversation with the Magister knowing that we would soon be killing the distraught man. “How many times have I tried?The past cannot be undone. All that I fought for, all that I betrayed, and what have I wrought?” he asked replying to whatever the Herald had said. “Ruin and death. There is nothing else. The Elder One comes: for me, for you,for us all.”

I watched as Liliana appeared from the shadows behind the defenseless Felix and grabbed the young man by the back of his armor. The mans head lolled to the side almost lifelessly as Liliana posed her blade against his neck.

“Felix!” Cried out his father who reached a hand out desperately towards his son.

“That’s Felix?” Dorian asked with shook that rapidly turned to outrage. “Maker’s breath Alexius what have you done?”

“He would have died, Dorian! I saved him?” Alexius defended as he grabbed his staff from his back and turned back to Liliana. “Please, don’t hurt my son. I’ll do anything you asked!” He pleaded to the spymaster.

“Hand over the amulet, and we will let him go.” Jericho demanding, believe he had control over what Liliana would do. But he didn’t it was clear the spymaster was hell bent on revenge and she was not acting on strategy but on her own hatred.

“Let him go, and I swear you’ll get what you want.”Alexius counter still looking towards his son.

“I want the world back.” Liliana demanded as she dragged her dagger across the poor young mans throat. Felix made a gurgling noise and dropped to the floor his blood splattering across his horrified fathers face.

Alexius looked down at his deceased son his sad face contorting into despair and complete furry. “No.” he said softly lifting his staff and knocking Liliana away with a large force of magic as he roared “NO!” He then turned to us and began flinging  spells at us his anger fueling his actions.

Dorian cast an lightning energy barrage at the man as Jericho placed fire mines at his feet. Solas activated an ice storm over the magister in an attempt to freeze the man while Cassandra charged and I fade stepped to the man.

Alexius let out a explosion of pure magic from himself as I nicked him in the side with a summoned dagger. The damage of his spell was negated by a barrier that Solas cast over me and Cassandra. Not able to get a deep stab at the man I fade stepped behind him and pierced Alexius in the back as I ignited him with flashfire. The man screamed as his clothes bust into flames and I sank my daggers in the softness of his sides.

With a howl the magister held up his staff and opened a rift above us. The sound of the veil ripping echoed through the throne room as several screech demons exited the rift. The man then erected a mana shield that exploded out from him and threw Cassandra away. But not me.

I stabbed at the magister my blade sinking deep into his stomach. ‘No impossible!” he cried out, his eyes wide with pain and disbelief. “What are you?!” he croaked as he coughed up bright red blood his hand gripping his staff tighter as he attempted to cast another spell.

I looked over my should and saw the others distracted battling the demons that poured out of the rift, then looked back at the man. “Your master Corypheus stole that orb from my people.” I sneered pulling my dagger from his abdomen. “ You said that our marks were for our betters.” I stabbed him again seeing his life force beginning to drain. “Well I am your better and his.” I whispered to him raising one my foot and pushing him off my dagger with it .

I felt the rift closing behind me and the mark in my hand flared as the veil was repaired. Alexius slumped to his knees his mana shield disappearing from around us.

“You have watched this world be destroyed by your decisions and by Corypheus. Now you will die for it!” I yelled as I grasped the sides of the now cowering mans face and pushed my magic through his head. I felt my magic flow through his body like a molten flame, his eyes fogging over as he screamed out and convulsed under my hands. My magic ravished his body and as the man’s screams ceased his body stiffened.

Someone place a warm hand on my ethereal shoulder. “He is no longer in there, Isanami.” Solas said softly as his other hand slid down one of my arms and removed my hand from the dead man’s head. Entangling his fingers in mine he lead me away from the Magister's body and over to the side of the the throne room past the others of the group who were all gawking at me.

Dorian walked over to the Magister and knelt down beside the mans body inspecting it. “He wanted to die, didn’t he?” Dorian asked no one in particular as he looked down at his mentor with sadness and pain on his face.

As I stood on the side listening to the others talk of what to do next, I felt Solas grasp my arm. He pulled me to face him.

 _“Isanami look at me.”_ he requested softly in our native tongue his voice a whisper only I could hear. I didn’t want to , seeing him in this sickly state broke my heart, but I looked up to him, my eyes captured by his.

 _ _“_ There is so much I want to tell you but time is fleeting. I have many regrets but loving you has never been one of them.” _He said in a loving tone as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my waist, his face now inches from mine

 _“My-My lord--”_ I stuttered but he cut me off.

 _“Mir’Vhenan.”_  he declared just before he closed the space between us and kissed my quivering lips with his. The kiss was hot and though I was in this ethereal form I could feel the heat of his body against mine. The kiss was gentle and short and he pulled away too soon, but kept me in his arms.

 _“I want to give you something.”_ he said looking down at me with the eyes of a staved man looking at his last meal. Though he was just a couple of inches taller then me, I felt small and naked under his heated gaze . _“When you get pack to our present I am sure to notice, but do not let me take this gift away from you. I was a foolish man with foolish endeavors.”_ He said shaking his head. _“It is possible to bring down the veil safely, but my way is not the way. You must be tolerant of my ignorance and assistance me in finding the safer way.”_

 _“My lord I-I don’t understand.”_ I say not knowing what he was trying to do.

 _ _“_ What I’m giving you will assist you in helping me but it is also the best and only gift I can give to you, who has had it all.” _he released me and placed his hands on the sides of my face. _“One must be willing to accept what I am offering.”_ he whispered.

My eyes widened as it donned on me what his ‘gift’ was. _“Fen you can not mean to do this. You will die--”_ I argue looking up into his dull red eyes. Hes gaze was determined and full of heat and want.

 _ _“_ I’m dying anyways. All I need is just enough power to fight and protect you enough for you to make it through the rift. Isanami take what I am offering , I abused this power for a too time. There is no doubt in my mind that you will use it for better means then to serve yourself.” _he looked down at me waiting for my response.

I reached up and stroked his cheek with a shaking hand, he leaned in to my touch. I swallow and nod my eyes searching his  _ _“_ Alright Fen I’ll accept your gift.” _

The words were barely out my mouth when he pulled my face to his and laid assault onto my lips with his. This kiss was not gentle but firm and hungry. His tongue darted into my mouth and caressed mine as it explored me and tasted me. His hand slid down my sides and snaked around my waist and to the back of my head as he pulled me tight to him.

Though I was distracted I felt it when he pushed his powerful soul into me. His eyes glowed a bright silvery blue through the red haze. He gripped me tighter as I felt his soul take root in my ethereal form fusing with mine pulsing through me with powerful wave after wave of mana. I shiver in his arms letting out a soft gasp into his mouth as I arched against him. I felt his power flowing in me like a wild river coursing through my body.Then… Nothing.

He pulled away from me and sighed __“_ The transfer is complete.” _he said releasing  me again and raising a hand to caress my cheek. Suddenly the whole castle began to shake violently Solas grabbed my hand and hurriedly lead me back to the group.

“The Elder One.” Liliana was saying as we came to a stop near her.

“You cannot stay here.” Solas urged letting go of my hand, he looked at me then to Cassandra who nodded to him. “We’ll hold the outer door. When they get past us, it will be your turn.” he said gripping his staff.

Jericho furrowed his brow “No! I won’t let you commit suicide.” he yelled raising his hands in frustration.

“Look at us. We’re already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes.” Liliana said as Solas and Cassandra backed away and turned to the door.

 _“Ar’lath Fen’Heral!”_ I scream as I tried to run after him only to be stopped by Dorian gabbing my hand.

Solas glanced at me over his should _“I love you too Mir’Vhenan.”_ he said softly as he turned and disappeared through the large door of the throne room.

“Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows.” The spymaster said as she to turned and faced the door that closed slowly blocking my view of Solas.

Dorian let go of my hand and turned to walk up the stairs to the throne. He held the amulet out in his hand and started to channel his magic through it . The amulet began to levitate and green magic danced around it .

“Though darkness closes. I am shielded by flame.” Liliana rehearsed the chant as she drew her bow. I stood near Dorian and Jericho watching the door knowing what would come next.

There was a loud bang and the door flew open with a bright green and blue light. Where I had expected a Terror demon there was the one demon I never thought I would see free in the world again. An enormous bright blue molten Rage demon emerged at the front of the hoard holding the limp body of Solas.

 _ _“_ The Original Rage. _”__  I whisper quietly adverting my fearful eyes as the demon that was four times as large as a normal rage demon let out a thunderous roar and flung Solas body to the side. I weep my ethereal body shaking while I look back at the demon who was now approaching the spymaster.

“Maker, take me at to your side.” I hear her say as she let lose arrow after arrow. Until a arrow fired from the demon hoard struck her in the shoulder. She let out a loud gasp and began using the bow to fight melee. Jericho started towards her his staff in hand but was stopped by Dorian yelling after him. “You die we all die!” the man shouted just as the rift opened.

My form was sucked into the bright green instantly with out an chance for me to grasp on to anything stable. With in a matter of seconds I felt myself emerge from the portal and hurdling towards my empty body. I flew into my physical form almost instantly.

I let out a gasp as my eyes readjusted and my newly fused soul settled back into my elven body. I swayed and just as saw the Herald and Dorian exited the rift I felt extreme fatigue wash over me like an ocean. I stumbled back my sight dimming as blotches of black invaded my sight.

“ _Isanami!”_  I heard Solas shout from beside me his voice sounding far away. I attempted to speak but it all came out a mumbled mess as I collapsed and lost consciousness.

 

I stood in the fade only it wasn’t the fade I knew so well, it was chaotic with the large rocks swirling around over head and screams echoing through out the emptiness. I spun around taking in my surroundings my eyes falling upon a lone figure lying faced down on the ground. I walked over to the body slowly knowing who it was the beautiful auburn pooled on the ground giving his identity away.

I knelt beside him and turned him over with shaky hands, jumping back at what I saw. His eyes were cloudy red his cheeks sunken and his mouth smiling a sick smile. _“Isanami, why did you let me die? Do you not love me?”_ the demon construct of Solas asked in a voice that was to wrong.

I back away from him shaking my head furiously __“_ No! I-I didn’t. There was nothing I could do.” _I stuttered still backing away from the demon Solas that was now crawling after me. My eyes were wide as tears streamed down my face and my body trembled uncontrollably.

 _“You killed me Isanami! You could have saved me!”_ the demon Solas yelled his voice shrill and piercing his head tiling sharply to the side.

 _ _“_ NO no no! I didn’t kill you!” _I scream closing my eyes. _“Leave me alone!”_ I shout.

There was an ominous rumble of laughter around me __“_ Did you really think you could escape me?” _The deep taunting voice of the Nightmare boomed around me. _“You will never wake up again! Isanami welcome to your new world!”_

I slowly opened my eye to see what horrors were waiting for me, then I opened my mouth to scream.


	10. Wake me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I scrapped this chapter so many times and yet i still am not satisfied, but the show must go on. Let me know what you think. I promise it will all make sense soon.   
> There was a song I listened to while writing this chapter: Bad dream by: Ruelle. It was fitting

I knelt onto the fog covered grass my body racked with a pain only a real mother should know. I shudder from the cold, in a clearing of ghastly green tinged trees that seemed to bend towards me in a way that looked like grasping fingers. The dense fog swirled around me and moved about as I breathed heavily, my lungs fill about to burst in protest.

How long has it been? A few days? A week? Month? I didn’t know but staring down at the still born child in my arms I shuddered again and struggled to remember that it wasn’t real. To remember that I was still in the fade. Time was lost to me as I had relived every part of my life that included immeasurable suffering.  

My throat was parched, my lips cracked and my eyes burned as my heart broke again at the sight of my child, our child. I weep quietly, as I hunched over him and rocked gently taking in his dull blue eyes and flaming hair. _“No. No no.”_ I whispered my mind unable to handle this kind of mental torment.

The Nightmare no longer tortured me with memories of my past but had moved on to forcing me to live through visions I had once had. The child in my arms was from a time line that had never came to pass, a time where Fen’Harel and I had not been successful in the rebel war and were hunted by the Evanuris.

The vision had shown me heavy with child when an arrow struck me and induced early labor. The child had not survived. Having to live the event was harsh, going into labor knowing that the boy would not live. The pain of losing a child…

Despite all the power I had, I felt helpless and useless. No matter what I did I just could not break the Nightmares hold on me. Every memory and every vision I had ever had was being used against me slowly but surely dissolving my will and resolve.

After watching everyone I ever loved die before my eyes and every possible way, I figured that there wasn’t much more the demon could throw at me. But I was wrong and now I don’t think I’ll be able to take much more.I look up through the dense trees of the foggy clearing I was in at the tattered sky of the fade the tears coming down much faster.

I was hurting, both physically and mentally, but through this pain I felt rage. A rage that bubbled and festered deep inside me. A rage I had felt before and had succumbed to. I needed to get out of here. I needed to wake up, before something very bad and worse then this happened. Something that I might not be able to reverse in my current state of mind.

“ _Fen’Harel.”_ I whisper in a vain attempt in summoning him to me. He wasn’t coming. I knew this. But I hoped and that was all I could do,was hope.

The low rumble of laughter rolled around me _“You refuse to admit defeat. I gave you a way out. The Wolf can not reach you here. The choice is yours to make.”_ the disembodied taunts of the Nightmare filled my ears.   _“Free Rage, you are unfit to hold him”_ he continued “Show me what you hide inside and this will all end.

 _“I...will not”_ I say harshly, hating myself for even acknowledging him. His laughter at my response scrapped my ears.

 _“You and I, we are the same in nature. A prison is weak if it was not built to hold prisoners. Let me what you hold in side and you will be free. Release your prisoner Isanami!”_ The demon boomed loudly his voice echoing in my head.

I ignore him knowing that he was lying. Knowing that if I did what he asked, it would not be me that would enter the waking world. I shook my head rigorously not sure what he was trying to accomplish as I looked back down to the child I held in my arms. My eyes widened as I gasped for he was no longer there and in its place was a horrific deformed creature that emitted gurgling noises. I dropped it and back away.

 _“Mo…mmy, mo..mmy…”_ the creature called out in a broken and twisted voice. I watched in disbelief as the began to grow, its body convulsing as it curled up and looked back at me with enormous unseeing eyes.

_“Mo…mmy?”_

_“You will break and when you do you will be free”_

 I hear the Nightmare say as I shut my eyes tight and shake my head.“Fen’Harel hear me!” I scream loudly just as a pair of tiny claw like hands grabbed onto my legs. 

“ _He can not hear you but I can. I feel your pain…”_ A raspy voice said from inside me.

I stiffen my breath caught in my chest as my fear deepened. _“No please.”_ I whisper opening my eyes and looking down at the thing still grasping my leg.

 _“You feel as if you are alone and that no one can help you. But you forget that I am here, I can help you.”_ The voice inside me was now accompanied by a slithering from inside. I knew the more I spoke with it the more it became but I couldn’t stop myself.

“ _I don’t need your help. I-I…”_ I stuttered as I began to pull away from the creature on my leg and turned to run through the fog covered forest.

“ _He wants to see me. Let him.”_

I gasped as I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my hand.I look down to see a crack in my skin and blue light seeping through. I was breaking and even as I watched the crack grew a little more.

There was a short burst of laughter from inside me “ _Even if you don’t let me out. Eventual you will break and I will be free.”_

 

 

There it was again. Solas stopped pacing and looked up the feeling that he was being called too strong to shake. He looked around the sleepy camp for the source but all that were present sat around the crackling campfire debating the same subject that had dominated all conversations for the past five days. Isanami.

“No I’m sure of it. She is not telling us something.This… Blue rage demon you saw, it doesn’t sound normal. And if what you say is true she knows of it and has been keeping it to herself. It could be a potential threat to us and if she is keeping that kind of information from us, she could be hiding more. ” Cassandra commented as she continued passing a stone over her swords blade.

“She seemed frightened by it, almost as if she… I don’t know it was just all too much and a lot was going on.” Jericho said rubbing the sides of his head, his eyes squizzed shut.

Solas ignored their comments and crossed over the camp to the covered wagon they had laid her in. Pushing through the flaps of the entrance he stopped short as the large white wolf that lay at the entrance raised it’s great head and snarled at him.

Frost had not left Isanami’s side since she had lost consciousness, in fact the wolf had ran from camp where she had left him and was found howling outside the doors of Radcliffe castle as she was being carried out. The bound between the two was a strong one, so much that the wolf allowed no one near Isanami and would only leave the wagon to relieve himself and to briefly hunt.

As Solas slowly climbed inside the wagon he reached a hand forward to the wolf who was now sitting up and growling in a more threatening way with its lips pulled back and its sharp teeth exposed. Giving a quick look to see if anyone was watching or were near he ducked into the covered wagon completely and place two fingers to the wolf’s head, pushing his magic into the noble animal.

“ _ _Peace my friend I mean her no harm__.” he pushed the message into the mind of the wolf quickly and removed his hand. The wolf stopped growling and tilted his head to the side as if it was contemplating trusting the elven God or not. After a few seconds Frost slowly returned to his relaxed position across the legs of Isanami, his eyes never moving from Solas.

Solas nodded to the now lounging wolf as he moved along the side of the dark wagon and settled down beside the sleeping woman. They were still a days march from Haven and yet with the snow storm moving in from the north it might take longer. But they did have time to wast waiting the storm out, there was no way she would make it if she stayed in this sleep of hers any longer.

He looked down at her noting the oddness of her presence the unexplained amount of power that seemed to course though her. It had been there from the moment she had lost consciousness and though he didn’t know what caused it he felt as if he knew what it was. It felt familiar and in a way almost as if…

 He shakes his head dismissing the thought; there was no way __that__  could be the case. Isanami had always been a strange occurrence in his life, it didn’t surprise him that she was once again providing him with yet another mystery to solve.

He sighed heavily as he thought about how they met. She had hated him from the start, wouldn't even give him the time of day. He remembered how she had looked when they first met her long golden gown clung to her slim figure like a second skin, her aqua green eyes shined bright with calculation and life as they looked through him. And her hair. The deepest of blues he had ever laid eyes on, a wonder to behold, a wonder shrouded in lies.

He wanted her from that very moment, and though he had been with another, the moment he had saw her, his partners name had slipped his mind. But fate was cruel and it was not to be for Isanami despised him with a passion. Over the many centuries and through countless temporary partners he sent her gifts and tokens of his want of her, all of which she would promptly send back.

She had always claimed that ‘there was no honer’ in being by his side and though she was constantly denying him her presence, the need to uncover her every secret was strong. It had seemed that they would never see eye to eye, that she would always keep him at a distance. But in those quite hours of the night after the bloodiest of battles they would somehow always end up sitting together and talking about the war.

In those talks he had learned so much about her, like how she wasn’t as unfeeling as she seemed or that she was afraid of her own abilities and of herself.

Frost suddenly sat up in high alert and began growling low pulling Solas away from his memories. He looked up and saw shadows dancing on the fabric at the entrance of the wagon. Slowly standing up he moved to the entrance but as he was making his way over the Heralds head popped in through the flaps. The man looked tired with large dark marks under his eyes, and though he attempted to flash a small smile it came as a slight grimace.

“Uh…Solas may we have a word with you?” Jericho asked his voice low as if not to wake the sleeping woman. Solas looked down at Isanami then back at the man before nodding his head and exiting the wagon.

They were all standing outside the wagon, Cassandra, Liliana, Dorian and of course the Herald, all with expression of some degree of suspicion. He had expected this, the Herald had saw something that he did not understand and as with most shems, he had chosen to fear the unknown.

Jericho looked to Dorian who he seemed to have grown close to since Redcliffe. The Tevinter mage nodded to the unsure man giving him a small reassuring smile.

“We know that you and Isanami have spent quite some time together since you two have met. We need to know if she told you anything of importance?” Jericho asked the elven mage, who stood tall with a passive look on his face.

“Such as?” Solas countered. His patients with these people was wearing thin. Why Isanami wanted him to help them was beyond him. The shems were irrational and easy to turn on those who aided them. Isanami could easily close the rifts, and once she awoke Solas saw no need to stay with the Inquisition any longer.

“Perhaps things about her pass? The Herald saw something that would paint Isanami as something other then what she claims she is.” It was the spymaster who spoke this time.

“What did you see?” Solas asked turning to the Herald and eyeing the tired man.

“I’m not really sure.” Jericho looked back to Dorian again before continuing. “She was in a…uh…spirit like form, see through and then there was a Blue rage demon that she seemed to have been very…afraid of.” the man paused again, then shrugged.

Solas looked down his nose at the Herald before speaking. “You are mistaken she has never opened up to me about her pass. If you want to find out more about her you will have to question her yourself. ” He lied his face giving nothing away. “I apologize for not being of much help.” He turned slightly back towards the wagon with the intent of cutting off the conversation but some one cleared their throat loudly.

“She claimed that she had been in this spirit form before, but of course we were not in a likable situation where she could go into more detail.” The Tevinter mage Dorian claimed in a manner that seemed as if he was sad he didn’t know more on the subject. “Ah…Perhaps it is something all ancient Elven people can achieve.” He eyed Solas pointedly and waited for a response.

Solas stiffly turned back to the group and nodded his head slowly. “That… is a possibility, it is something I would have to research.” he said curtly.

“And what of this demon The Herald saw. What is it? Is it a threat to us?” Cassandra asked bluntly. She was still in her armor and spoke with an edge in her voice. She had been accepting of Isanami as she had been for Solas but there was no doubt in his mind that if Cassandra deemed Isanami a threat she would cut her down. Or try to , he had no intentions of allowing anyone with ill intent near Isanami.

“A blue rage demon, you say?” He asked the Herald, who snapped his head up and looked back at him nodding.

‘Yes, it was large two, three times the size of any other rage demon we have ever encountered. The future you and Cassandra had claimed that a demon had taken over Isanami’s body, I assume that this rage demon was that demon. But…” he let out a long breath and shook his head as if not wanting to continue. “…when she saw the demon she looked so frightened, and whispered something under her breath. I could have sworn the demon had looked right at her as if…as if she had called it by name.” Jericho gave a visible shudder.

“Surly you can see that this is very concerning?” Liliana said speaking up finally. She had been quite so far most likely watching Solas for any indication that he was lying to them. But she was having trouble reading him, of course she would, the Wolf had no tells. “If you have any information on this demon-”

“I do not know of this demon you speak of. But if she knew of this demon there is a chance that it might have been the first of its kind. I have seen many things in my journeys of the Fade that suggest that there were very few demons in the time of Arlathan. So few in fact that The People knew them by name and could call upon them if they so wish.” Solas watched as Cassandra stiffened and as Liliana narrowed her eyes in response to what he said.

“Call upon…a demon?” the Seeker whispered in disbelief. ‘Why would they do that? Could she have that ability? To summon a demon on us?”

Now it was Solas’s turn to narrow his eyes. “And why would she do that? She has done nothing but try to help you people and has not shown any ill towards you and the Inquisition. Why start questioning her intentions now? Because of something they saw, in a world created by the actions of this ‘Elder One’?” He questioned pointing to the Herald and Dorian, his temper rising but his face and voice gave nothing away. “Isanami is many things but she is first and foremost a powerfully ally that is willing to put herself at risk for your cause. It would be wise not to alienate her when you go to her with the rest of your questions once she is awake.” he said with a slight bitterness in his tone.

“What if she-”

He turned quickly and climbed back into the wagon ignoring who ever was speaking behind him and the groups bickering that followed his rude actions, barely tensing when he felt that weird feeling again. This time it didn’t bother him because he was sure he knew where it was coming from. Frost didn’t bother growling at him, but instead stretched and gave Solas a strange look before peaking his head out through the flaps and jumping down to the ground, leaving Solas alone with the sleeping Isanami.

Solas moved to the side of the woman and laid down next to her, outside he could hear the groups conversation come to a halt as a deep menacing growl interrupted them. The growling grew more intense and after a second or two Solas could hear the sounds of shuffling moving away from the wagon. He smiled to his self as he waved a hand over his own face, magically inducing sleep and forced himself into the fade.

 

 

When he entered the fade he quickly found that his suspicion was correct. The feeling he had felt in the waking world was much more stronger though still muted by normal standards. He was being called but the pull of the summons was weak as if it were being muffled in some way.

He had entered the fade in what looked like a moonlit forest much like the one that camp had been made in the waking world. The forest was lush and in the green tint of the fade it looked massive and ominous. The trees were large and towered over him thou they curved inward in an odd fashion. The ground was obscured by a dense gray fog that swirled around him and puffed up as he walked.

He followed the feel of the call, walking through the dark forest with determination, only to stop when he caught sight of a lone blue spirit standing in a clearing seemingly observing something.

As he came into the clearing himself he saw that the spirit was looking through what could only be an enormous glass wall that spanned both east and west, for as far as the eye could see. The wall cut through the forest but through the tinted green glass like barrier on the other side Solas could see that the forest continued though the fog was too dense to make anything out.

 _“She is in there. Alone and in pain.”_ The spirit who had been quietly watching him had finally spoken.

Solas turned to the spirit and nodded _“Are you here to give her courage, my old friend?”_

The spirit flickers and places an ethereal hand to the glass like barrier, before shaking his head, _“That had been my intentions, but I do not have the ability to pass this barrier of his.”_

 _“Whose barrier is this? What do they want with Isanami?”_ Solas questioned in frustration as he pushed his hair from his face.

“ _He calls himself the Nightmare, But you may know him as the Taker of Dreams._ ” Courage answered solemnly his light dimming a bit.

“ _The Taker of Dreams…”_ Solas muttered to himself then his eyes went wide. _“ The Original Fear demon? But she has the Origi-”_ Just as he was was putting two and two together a blood curling scream pierced through the air around them, muffled only slightly by the barrier.

Solas tensed and rushed over to the the Glass like barrier attempting to see through the thick fog.

 _“What is he doing to her in there?”_ he asked as the fog parted and revealed Isanami on her knees in a clearing not to far from the glass like barrier. She looked as if she was made of cracked glass, blue light emitting from her as she clutched her head in what he could only assume was incredible pain.

 _“He is trying to break her. Forcing her to relive every traumatic event of her life even some of her visions.”_ The spirit watched the elven lady through the the barrier as he spoke.

 _“Isanami! Isanami I’m here!”_ Solas shouted banging his fist against the barrier in an attempt to get her attention.

 _“She can not her or see you. She does not know you are here.”_ Courage looked from him back to the barrier.

 _“I have to get in there NOW! I must stop her from breaking. She can not unleash that thing back in to this realm!”_ he pushed at the barrier again growling when it stayed solid.

_“You are stronger in the fade you must break through this barrier. You have to help her.”_

_“But how do I go about this. I must-”_

_“Are you not Fen’Harel? Do you not have the ability to bend the fade to your will? You may not be able to break the barrier in this form, but you can break it. The nightmare is strong but he understands that the fade is your realm, he will bend knee._ ” the spirit asked looking at the elven god.

Solas was silent for a second before slowly nodding his head _“I see._ ” he said shortly as he looked back from the spirit to Isanami through the barrier.

 _“You must be careful when you approach her. She will not be stable. The Nightmare has put her through so much, even with her power and experiences It would not be surprising if there are lasting effects on her mind.”_ Courage stepped away from the barrier then stopped as if hesitant in what he was to say next. _“In the time of Arlathan you came to me and asked for my help. What soon followed was a beautiful union, one that was said to rival that of the All mother and Elgar’nan, even in the mist of war. Several millennia have past since then, so I feel the need to ask. Do you still love her?”_

Solas looked away from the barrier his eyes narrowed as they fell onto the questioning spirit. He had been startled by the question but he didn’t take a second to think about his answer. _“I never stopped loving her.”_ He ran a hand through his hair before continuing _“When she disappeared I was…hurt, I felt betrayed but I later learned that she had her reasons. I may have slept for several millennia after erecting the veil but that does not erase the thousands of years I have spent chasing her. Nor does it negate the few centuries she spent by my side”_ he paused again and sighed _“There is no doubt in my mind or heart that I will always want her even if she pretends she doesn't want me back. She may lie but her eyes do not.”_

“ _Perhaps it is as they say, wolves mate for life. She will need that if she is to survive this.”_ The spirit said softly his light brightening ever so slightly _“She is in a bad place, in her mind she has seen every one she loves die and has given birth to several of your children, all dead.”_ Solas took in a gasped breath through his teeth his hands balling up at his side as he fulled the fade around him. He didn’t need to hear any more then he already had, he knew what he needed to do.

 

 

 _“You are at your wits end. You are no longer mentally stable enough to hold me.”_ The voice inside taunted as it slithered around inside me.

 I looked at the world burning around me as the screams of those I loved pierced my ears and shook me to my core. It was hot and the air that seeped into my lungs burned and was heavy with ash.

 _“This is the world you fear? A world brought to destruction by your own actions. How does it feel to know that you are the monster who brought this upon your people? Do you hear their screams? Do you feel their pain.”_ this time it was the Nightmare who spoke this time.

I had not understood what he had wanted from me, but now I do. He was the original fear demon, the first of his kind. Just as the rage demon in me was the first of his kind. And now he was attempting to break me and free the rage demon inside me. But I was not about to let that happen, I couldn’t let it happen.

They had teamed up and began taking turns taking hits at my psychi I was slipping and my grasp on reality was almost lost. Was it all fake or did I really kill my own brother and give birth to many dead children? How could I know?

 _“Free me and in doing so free yourself. You don’t have to suffer any more. You don’t have to be alone.”_ The voice said sweetly .

I dipped my head and shivered despite the burning heat around me. I would die if I gave in, but would that be so bad? I was tired from the repeated mental torture, and was breaking apart as a result. Even as these thought ran though my mind there was another cracking sound, this time it was my in my chest.

I couldn’t take it any more. Either way I looked at it I was going to die. I could not call upon my powers in my mental state and my foresight was being blocked perhaps by the demon inside me. I was stuck with no obvious way out.

 _“Yes, now you see that there is no way out of this. Now you see that you must let go and set me free. This is the only way. No longer do you have to be my unwilling prison. Your father is no longer alive he will never know that you have set me free. No one will know.”_ The voice chuckled softly.

 _“I-I… am so tired…”_ I say softly.

 _“I know. It is time you get the rest you have need for so long. You have done your job, and now you must let go.”_ There was another crack as he spoke I could feel myself crumbling.

I closed my eyes and relaxed as much as I could, the sounds of the Nightmare laughter surrounded me. I took in a deep burning breath of hot air as I raised my hands and dug my fingers in to the biggest crack located at my chest.

 _“Yes! Do it! Let me out!”_ The demon inside commanded excitedly.

I sluggish nodded my head and was about to break myself when suddenly there was a loud thump followed buy the sound of glass cracking. I looked up just as a glass like barrier appeared not too far from me and seemed to shatter right before my eyes.

 _“NO! HOW?THIS CAN NOT BE! HOW DARE YOU WOLF?”_ the Nightmare shouted, his voice piercing and full of anger.

 I looked around to see who he was talking about only for my eyes to fall upon a large angry black wolf walking into the the burning clearing around me. He was enormous towering over me so dark was his body that it seemed to be made up of the blackest of smoke. The wolfs six sizable red eyes narrowed at me as he growled loudly, the heat of his breath rushing past me.

I sat stone still unsure what was going on. It was a trap. It was not real, it couldn’t be. It was just another one of the Nightmare’s constructs, just another mental attack.

 I crawled back away from the beast shaking from the power that seemed to roll of of it, but the wolf kept himself slightly over me.

 _“No more of this! You will not break her! Leave now!_ ” The wolf growled in a deep contorted voice through pulled back lips.

 _“You may have broken my barriers but you have no say in whats to come. You can have her, for now. But you wont always be there.”_ The nightmare said and with in seconds the air cooled around me and the scene returned to that of a calm green forest.

I looked down at myself to see if the cracks had also disappeared but they hadn’t. I had believed them to be a construct of the Nightmares but they were real. I was really breaking.

The wolf huffed above me and began to morph before my eyes. Large bones shrunk and gone was the smokey  black fur until the elven form of Fen’Harel stood before me. He rolled his neck and took a step towards me holding a hand out.

I recoiled and back away from him, _“No. No you-your not really here._ ” I whisper with a weak voice, shaking my head. _“I’m not falling for it again.”_ he looked down at me his face pained.

“ _Isanami I am here, you are safe now.”_ He spoke slowly and softly as he knelt down on his knee in front of me.

I continued to shake my head bringing a shaky hand to my face to wipe the tears from my eyes. _“It cant be…I would know. Wouldn’t I?”_ my whole body began to shake uncontrollably as the tears I had tried to wipe away rolled down my face. Was it really over? Was it really him? My mind was in turmoil, I could not tell what was real. I was afraid.

 _“The wolf is here now. He will help you, but you must let him. I will give the courage to continue.”_ the spirit of courage said as he came into view from behind who I though was just a construct of Fen’Harel.

The spirit lightly tapped a finger upon my head and instantly I could feel my fear melting way, but the dread and pain still remained. I hunched over as I began to sob noisily.

Fen’Harel reached out and pulled me into his arms, his embrace warm and gentle as if he was handling something very fragile. _“Shhh it’s over now, you are safe.”_ he whispered to me as he rubbed my back in a caring manner.

I shivered as all of what I had seen and felt crashed down on me almost knocking the breath out of me. _‘Its really…you?”_ I asked through my sobs. _“It was right here… I held him in my arms.”_ I closed my eyes and saw the face of our child as I spoke. I felt Fen take in a sharp breath but he stayed silent and let me continue.

_“He-he was here. Our boy…”_

_“She needs to be removed from this realm, or she will get worse.”_ I hear the spirit of courage say softly to Fen.

_“What of the cracks? What will happen if I wake her and she is not strong enough to hold? I have never seen it get this bad. It looked as if she was about to willingly break herself.”_

_“We can speak on this latter. Perhaps it would be better if you consult Wisdom on ways to strengthen her. But for now I am confident that she is well enough to be woken up. When she sleeps again keep her from the fade…"_

I didn’t hear the rest due to the spirit of Courage placing two fingers on my forehead pushing me from the fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention that my writings are not up to some people standards, But between working a full time job and being a girlfriend, pet owner and gamer it is hard to find time to write and edit. So if there is any one willing to edit this piece for me let me know, i am new to this system so i am in need of guidance and help. :)


	11. The Hold Of Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I left but thanks to those who keep reading this story, I am back. Enjoy.  
> I have no beta so if something is wrong, feel free to tell me about it in the comments below. If it is in italics and quotation marks it is being spoken in Elven.

I shivered against the chill of the night as I tilted my head back and breathed in the cold fresh forest air around me. The sky was bright tonight, with both moons full and countless stars filling the empty void of space. The sounds of the nocturnal creatures of Thades filled the air around me, the soothing noises of life buzzing in my ears. I shivered again as the nights breeze caressed my exposed back, quickening the flesh in its wake.

A warm hand lightly gripped me by one of my bare shoulders to gently still me “ _Still yourself lathallin, the process is almost complete._ ” Solas whispered, his soft baritone voice laced with magic aimed at keeping my mind at peace. His tone was one he used very rarely in the past, a tone he reserved just for me, under the heavy silence of night after the more bloodiest of battles. It was a tone meant to sooth a broken mind.

I kept my eyes trained on the sky as he finished the painful repairs on my vallaslin, his magic flowed steadily through the lines of the brand searching for brakes in the ancient seal, leaving a searing sensation in it trail. I ignored the pains of the repairs, this wasn't the first time I had to sit through such a process. The seal had been cracked countless times in the past, more so during the slave rebellion. War has always been a breeding ground for rage.

There was a low sigh behind me as the magic flowing through the seal came to an abrupt stop and a wave of soothing healing washed over me. The warm hand dragged from my shoulder to the nape of my neck and dripped down my spine. I shuddered at the touch but did not object, I was tired, having been kneeling on this frozen ground for hours now.

I hear him get to his feet behind me, the rustling of fabric accompanied by the sound of soft snow crunching beneath his feet. “ _As I have said before, I have not the tools to fully repair the damage to the seal. Temporary as it may be, it will hold, granted you watch yourself. I suggest you incorporate control exercises into your daily routine. And once again I extend the offer to help you in release should it come to that.”_ His offer was sincere, with out his usual underlining suggestions or teasing.

He came beside me and looked down at me, offering me his hand. I looked up at him then behind him to the moons. They were the same moons from the time of Arlathan, the same moons I had stared at many times through the ages. The thought struck me funny as I let out a low giggle.

He raised a brow in question as he knelt down besides me, perhaps assuming I had finally lost it. His features were solemn as he eyed my face, I looked back at him expressionlessly. He draws in a deep breath as he runs a hand through his auburn mane “I...” He starts but hesitates.

“ _There are so many things I regret my Lord.”_ I whispered filling the silence in with a dry emotionless voice as I looked down to my hands in my lap. _“I was once a fearless warrior...once I commanded great armies and advised gods. Never had I...bent knee to a cause I did not believe in, never had I made a decision that I could not stand by wholeheartedly...never had I not been able to move forward with my head held high. And yet...”_ I trailed off not wanting the words on my tongue to weigh down the crisp air around me.

I sat silently musing over my current self and situation, my thoughts were all over, a hurricane in my mind. The recent events had scarred me, from the mess with Magister Alexius to my mental torment by the horrific Nightmare. It had now been a few days since Solas saved me from, what I can only describe as total self inflected destruction, I will forever be grateful to him for pulling me out of my own personal hell. Though grateful as I was I couldn't shake the feeling of shame and embarrassment.

I, who had once stood tall and proud was now but a wrecked shadow of my former self, brought down by my own fears. Who knew I could be broken in so many ways. _Certainly not I._ I huff at the thought and look over to Solas, who sat silently staring up at the sky, patiently giving me this time to myself.

He had shown the same diligence throughout these last few day, successfully nursing me back to health, both mentally and physically, all the while combating the very persistent inner circles insistent questions. Some of my recent actions had caused quite a stir among a few of my companions. They had witnessed something that was not easy to explain, not that I fully understood it myself. But I have to admit that no one in their right mind would let what happened slip without question.

Solas had tried his best to keep them from me in the days that followed my emergence from my demon evoked coma. Although he had succeeded at keeping them at bay for a while, they finally got past him, completely disregarding his worry for my well being.

_Who could blame them?_ I think to myself as I thought back on the very awkward meeting that had taken place in my cabin just earlier today. I couldn't answer most of their probing questions, but the few that I did left them uneasy and perhaps even a little unsure on how to treat me. The news that I had spent a brief lifetime in another world and experienced death there had not gone over well with Commander Cullen or Cassandra, their distaste at the whole situation was almost palpable. And yet Cassandra surprised me with a kind of compassion I could not have seen coming, going as far as to show a little understanding for what I had lost in coming back to Thades.

Though the meeting had left some with less troubled minds, the side glances and lingering stares were not lost on me. Their eyes said it all, I was something to fear, an unknown anomaly that was unpredictable. As a young organization the last thing the Inquisition needed was an agent that was powerful and unpredictable, the combination was not a favorable one. No one stressed this more then Liliana, who suggested for me to be removed from the inner circle completely. To stow me away from the public eye, only to be called upon when my foresight was needed. Thankfully no one else agreed with her on this and the suggestion died before it could become reality.

_Liliana might not like me._ I think to myself before the sound of Solas softly clearing his throat brought me back to the present. I look to him meeting his steel blue eyes in the light of the moons.

His eyes searched my face for something, but when he didn't find what he was looking for he took in a deep breath and spoke. _“The pain of regret lingers on a tortured soul, a tortured soul lingers with regret.”_ He looked back to the sky and let the ancient proverb hang in the air between us, I rolled the words through my head but found no comfort in the familiar saying.

“ _After I successfully erected the Veil I lay in the dark in uthenera while countless wars and ages passed. I awoke to a world no longer recognizable, a world of tranquil.”_ He paused, his sudden silence causing me to look back to him. He was already look at me, his eyes held mine as he reached for my hand in my lap. I narrowed my eyes at his sudden movement but allowed it, I could see what he was about to say would be for my benefit.

“ _I thought to set our people free from slavery to would-be gods, in doing so I destroyed their world and everything that made them what they were. My decision brought freedom from the Evanuris and yet it enslaved them to another power, the power of time. I have single handily destroyed our world, the Dalish refer to me as the ‘Destroyer of Worlds’.”_ I snort at the tittle and he gave soft smirk before he pulled me into a warm hug by my hand.

“ _Your grief may rule you now but this to shall past. Your will is far too strong, to be wilted for long, but holding all your pain inside will not help speed your recovery. Let go of your regrets of the past, the pain you hold so deep in your heart, your self loathing, let is go lathallin, all off it. You have no right to be disgusted with yourself.”_ his smooth calming voice washed over me, his words tugging at my broken mind.

I shudder in his warm embrace as the walls I had so carefully erected around me came crashing down and hot tears spilled from my eyes. I clung to his shirt as I felt the wave of emotions, I had always hid, rack my body bring an uncontrollable sob past my lips. Rage was the only emotion I ever willingly dealt with, it has always been the easiest of emotions for me to explain and understand.

“ _M-my Lord...d-dont…look at m-me.”_ I manage to stammer between my sobs. I couldn't imagine how this scene looked to him. Yes he was trying to comfort me, but I didn't want him to see me in this pathetic way. I was the Commander of the Guardian, the Oracle of the Evanuris, I was strong and yet in this moment I felt very small. My pride was being shattered.

He hummed his disagreement “ _Nothing can make me change my opinion of you Isanami, certainly not this. You are hurting, though you have no visible wounds, you are in pain, and without help you might not emerge from this darkness you have retreated to. I see the regret that cracks your defenses, I know the pain you are in, you are broken Isanami, I will put you back together.”_ He promised as he held me closer smoothing my hair with his hand and rubbing my back. His hands were gentle like his voice and embrace. He was handling me as if I were fragile, as if the wrong move or word would cause me to shatter like glass.

I let myself be held, I let him comfort me, I understood that this is what he thought I needed at this moment and I agreed with him. Fen’Harel was the only one who knew how to fix me, the only on who knew what the real me, the strong me.

I sat there in the comforts of his arms for what could have been hours, the tears flowing freely, a tsunami of emotions in my heart. His words had hit home, the sincerity in his voice, the gentle way he handled me, it all pulled at me. Pulled at my fears, my pain, regrets that still lingered on, but I wasn't alone in this. Solas was dealing with his own regrets, his words, had been a confession of guilt, he was admitting he had done something that could be considered wrong. He was pointing out his mistake to let me know that he wasn't letting his guilt run him, but letting it strengthen his resolve towards his goal, the same thing he wanted me to do with my guilt.

My weeps weakened and the tears slowed. I was exhausted from the emotions that had spilled forth, tired from the strength it had taken to keeping it all at bay these last few days. I sighed softly through shaky lips, and relaxed against his chest. My eyes drooped with the temptation of sleep, lethargy settled over my body and mind.

Solas shifted his weight underneath me and stood up from the ground cradling me in his arms. I opened my mouth to object but, he looked down to me in his arms his eyes meeting mine. I felt my eyes get heavier, my whirling mind go silent as sleep over came me with a force that could only be induced by magic.

“ _Isanami, you are not the monster you think you are, you are not me, you will not bec-”_ I hear Fen'Harel whisper as I lose complete conscious, and was welcomed by a dreamless slumber.

 

 

 

 

“Ah...So you truly don’t remember anything after you went through the rift the first time?” Dorian asked for what could have been the tenth time since I came clean about how I got back to Thedas.

We were in my cabin and although the others of the inner circle were upset with me, Dorian had taken to visiting me almost daily. Mostly to check up on me and to talk about my ethereal form but also to converse intellectually with Solas who had not left my side since he saved me from the torment of the Nightmare.

I shrug my shoulders “Honestly Dorian, I don’t have the slightest memory. Perhaps Falon’Din guided me to the afterlife and sadly this was it.” I said jokingly as I propped myself up on the pillows of my bed.

It was still early in the morning and he had joined me for breakfast, I was thankful for his company. In his short time with the Inquisition he had fast became a man that I could truly consider a friend. I knew from the game that he was a fiercely loyal and trustworthy person, but I never imagine that we would click so well. His cheerfulness had a way of lifting my spirits and he was quite understanding of my whole situation, his eyes never judging or skeptical. I guess the fact that he was a Tevinter mage has allowed him to be able to relate with me in my isolation.

The handsome mage looked over to me from my desk with his brows raised “Who?”

“God of death and fortune. It is Elvhen belief that when we die he guides us to what comes after this life.” I answer as I watched Frost stand from where he had been laying in front of the lit fireplace, and stretch before circling and laying back down. I think my wolf was growing lazy.

“I see…” Dorian stroked his magnificent mustache thoughtfully before continuing. “Well the only similarities I see between the two instances is that a rift is always present and you tend to sleep for long periods of time after, as if what ever is happening is draining you considerably. What is odd is that it does not happen when you go near preexisting rifts.”

I nodded my head slowly in agreement “I noticed that also. The rift in Redcliffe was created by Alexius, it is possible that the rift that showed up when I died was also created. Perhaps by the ones that sent me to the other world, maybe it was a spell activated by my mortal bodies expiration.” I ran that thought through my head, and it did make some sense if only a little.

Dorian let out a low whistle and smiled. “Wow. The way you say that so comfortably, your people must have had abilities that my people wouldn't even be able to dream of.” He whispered almost reverently. “To think that someone was able to cast a spell to go into effect in an entirely different world, it is quite baffling. Were all the Elvhen so powerful and well studied?” he asked his eyes gleaming with delight.

“No, far from it. Maybe I’ll tell you all about it some day.” I say looking in to the fire in the fireplace.

He sat there silently for some time writing something down on a notepad he kept his notes in, when he was done he stood from my desk and stretched. “There is much I need to research perhaps I can find something that could help us understand the phenomena that is you. Sadly there is little to no selection of books on magic here. But if you want twenty volumes on whether Divine Galatea took a shit on Sunday, Haven is evidently the place to find it." I snickered at his comments and the face he pulled, I wanted to tell him that it would get better when we got to Skyhold, but was sadden by the thought of what had to happen for us to even need to get to, _Tarasyl’an Te’las_.

Dorian looked over to me and crossed the cabin to sit next to me on my bed. “I know this has all been hard on you, living a lie... it festers inside you, like poison. I am glad you were able to rid yourself of such a burdensome secret. But how are you dealing with all of this?” His asked, concern lacing his voice as he searched my face for a tell. I knew he was thinking about him self when he spoke about living a lie, I knew he would understand if I told him, but I had never been the best at sharing my feelings

I looked away from his prying eyes and sighed “I’ve been through worse.” I answer in a clipped tone. I was surprised when he laughed at my answer, I looked back to him questioningly.

“Of that I have no doubt. You have clearly gone through hell, you have those kind of eyes that have witnessed things I wouldn't be able to fathom. I was only worried about you dealing with all this with just Solas for company. I also want you to know that though you may not want to talk about it now I am here for you when you are ready. Where has your devote hobo doctor disappeared off to anyways, it’s rare not to see him here.” Dorian asked as he stood up from my bed and made his way to the cabin door.

I shrugged and shook my head. He was right, Solas had barely left my side these last few day. He had taken it upon himself to aid in my mental and physical recovery. I was almost never left alone, even in sleep. Solas would spend the nights with me in a part of the fade that was apart from the rest of the fade, a pocket in the Veil. No dreams came to me there and that was the point, Solas thought my mind currently too fragile to handle the stronger demons of the fade.

Dorian took my silence as the answer and opened the door to leave, but Frost had rushed past him and darted out of the cabin, either t0 hunt or relive himself. “How…are they?” I asked Dorian who was still standing at the door now staring after Frost.

“They are quiet so far, Cassandra is of course upset that you didn’t tell them everything when you first talked to them. Sera is now completely afraid of you and Iron Bull claims he knew you were hiding something the whole time.” Dorian shook his head and smiled as he spoke of the qunari.

“But, what about Jericho? How does he feel about all of this?” I was worried what telling them would do to my relationship with the friendly mage. I had grown to care for him and had begun to see him a dear friend, and that was something I didn’t want to screw up.

Dorian was quiet for a second before he answered. “He was sort of hurt that you didn’t tell him first, but…he does not blame you. He says that he understands why you were hesitant to tell anyone. I for one do not know why this has rubbed the others in such a way. You obviously have the Inquisition best interest in heart, you have proven that several times now. Tomorrow you will prove that again when we close the breach.” he smiled at me then turned to leave. “Do get some rest my dear, you wont get to enjoy the celebrations if you pass out and sleep through it.” he said over his shoulder just before he stepped out in to the morning and closed the door behind him.

With Dorian gone the cabin felt bigger, colder, the only sounds were those of the woods outside. I felt Solas’s absence and that made me feel even more alone. I sat in the silence of the cabin unsure what to do. It seems I had gotten accustomed to Solas’s presence, and now I was at a lost what to do with this small bit of freedom.

There was a scratching sound at the door and a slight whine signaling Frost was back from what he had to do. I swung my legs over the bed and stood with a stretch as I went for the door. I opened the door for the great wolf and found him sitting at the door with his tongue lolling about and blood staining the white fur of his muzzle. I looked down to him and reached out to rub his head before stepping to the side to let him in. He didn't budge instead he whipped his stained muzzle towards the woods and began to walk in that direction, before stopping and looking back to me as if he wanted me to follow him.

I looked down the path back to Haven to see if Solas was heading back before I stepped out into the cool light of the morning. Solas had been adamant about me staying in the cabin while I recovered, last thing I wanted was for him to catch me disobeying his orders. Not seeing the brooding god in sight I closed the cabin behind me and quickly fell into step with Frost.

Frost lead me into the woods in a playful manner, running far ahead then circling back and jumping on me in his excitement. Once we were far enough from Haven and any prying eyes we stopped and I shifted in to a form better equipped for the kind of play we were engaged in.

As the commander of the Guardian I was able to shift into many different things, it was a requirement for all that were apart of the elite force, though shifting into a dragon had been reserved for the Evanuris. As the commander of Fen’Heral’s armies it had been an honor bestowed upon me, as it had for many of the upper ranks of his command. It was as such for all upper ranks of the Evanuris forces, where commanders of Andruil’s armies had the honor of shifting into foxes, Dirthamen had ravens, Fen’harel, wolves.

My wolf form was that of an alpha female, large and imposing with blueish gray fur covering my back and pure white for my belly. My eyes sapphire blue almost the same tone as my hair. I was almost twice the size of Frost, the wolves of my time had been larger then the modern day Thedas wolf.

Frost yelped happily at my form his tongue dangling from his muzzle as he lowered himself closer to the snowy ground and bowed his head in respect to the alpha in his presences. I barked a laugh (literally) before pouncing onto him in a playful attack. We wrestled for a while before Frost escaped and ran further into the woods, letting out a cheerful howl as I gave chase.

It had been forever since I wore the body of the wolf, it was freeing, I felt unburden and at peace. The feel of my powerful muscles working to push me further, faster, was a blissful feeling. My mind was clearer then it had been in forever, there was nothing but the chase, nothing but the thrill.

Shifting into an animal took a lot of disciple and mental strength, one could easily lose themselves to the animal instincts that accompanied the animals form. In the time of Arlathan it wasn't unheard of for one to take to the wild in the form of a preferred animal for any length of time. When they would try to reinsert themselves back into civilization, it was often a challenge. Some never returned to a normal life and would one day enter the woods never to come back, though that was rare.

Letting the animal instinct take over completely was tempting. In the mind of an animal there was only the necessities, it wasn’t muddied by emotions such as guilt or regret. There was only survival.

We ran for quite a while before we came to a clearing in the snow covered woods. We came to a stop, Frost rolling over to his back playfully exposing his belly to me. I huffed amused at the sight, my hot breath fogging in the cold air in front of me. I sat on my back legs and let the chilly wind blow threw my fur, enjoying the feel.

I could see why the few that chose to stay in their animal forms did so, it was a relaxing change from the hub bub that had become my life. It seems that every twist and turn hid something new and unwanted, and I had had enough of that kind of life centuries ago. The burden of my power, my vows to the people and Evanuris, my choices, it had all been so much to handle. It was the same even now, being present in a world I no longer truly belonged in, a time that differed from the one I came from, with knowledge that compelled me to act and see this through.

_I could just run, run and never comeback. They would never be able to find me, I could be free from all of this. This is not my fight, not my responsibility._ The thought ran threw my mind, so tempting, and yet I knew it not to be true.

“Time has slipped, you left it behind, filled with old pains that did not dull. Marked, marred with wounds no one can see, but the past will always know.” a familiar voice said breaking the peaceful silence from behind me.

I turned my great wolf head around in time to see a scrawny pale young man emerge from the trees, a big floppy hat on his head and his straw blond shaggy bangs covering his eyes.

“An ancient rage fueled by muted screams, old wounds still bleeding. The present rips at the sores, but you stay, no orders just honor. Even if the screams find new voices, Why?” The young man continued as he came to a stop in front of me.

I looked to him in my wolf form before shifting back to normal, his eyes went wide as he watched the transformation.

“So that is what hides the wolf.” he said confusingly.

I shake my head but ignore it. “Sometimes orders are not the only reason to do something. I wanted to help, you understand that Compassion.”

Cole rocked on the balls of his feet before he answered. “But if the hurt continues, soon the needles become identical to swords.”

I smiled a sad smile at that, it was a clever way of saying it. “I know, but I can distinguish the small pain from the larger, even after all this time. I’m here to fix things, make it right, straighten out the mess… I … helped him make. But I know I don't have to, and I know I can leave this behind, at anytime if I wanted. It would be easy for me to do, just slip way and let this world crumble and witness what comes after.” I say the words but feel no connection to them, Cole looked at me with eyes that lack the judgment any other would have.

“But you wouldn’t do that, they need you here. ‘They fall to the ground, the spirit of fight gone from their lifeless bodies, the battle looks lost, hope has fled I could to, but I can’t I'm not a coward. A last stand to honor those who fell fighting at my side. I will proudly die here for the cause.’” The spirit fell silent, his eyes boring into me while my own thoughts hung in the air between us. I fidgeted under his stare, unsure what to say. Those words had crossed my mind countless of times during the worst of battles, but I could never abandon my comrades no matter the fight.

I shake my head “This… this isn’t the same thing. I know that without me the Inquisition will succeed, I know the only reason to stay at this point is to save the orb. But this... this whole situation is unfavorable for me.” I look down at Frost who sat quietly at my side, then back at the spirit in front of me, before looking away again. “I have fought beside them and have created a bond with some of them, but thanks to the few truths I have reviled, they now question my presence. If I stay the bonds will strengthen the suspicions will disappear, and in its place will be trust. When this all comes to an end I will walk away following him on the path he chose and when we meet again on the opposite sides of the battle field, it will be a betrayal of that trust. All major changes are fueled by the blood of those who opposed, I want nothing to do with it. I’ve been through that before, it would be best if I didn't stay and found another way to get the orb.” when I finished I wiped the embarrassing tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my tunic.

What I had said was the truth I knew so well, I had been close friends with some of the people that had stood across from me on the field before. The pain of cutting down someone you considered a friend was something that you could never forget there screams made all the rest even louder.

Cole stepped closer to me then hesitated. “A family broken, a piece misplaced, it will hurt them if you leave. It will hurt him, the lone wolf on the hunt alone again.”

I heaved a sigh and ran a nervous hand through my hair, this conversation was not going to be going anywhere “I know that. Compassion, I was never really going to leave. I was only thinking of running away to clear my mind, I would have returned eventually. I have already resigned myself to the fact that this path that I am on will hurt the people here, whether if that be now or later I will end up hurting these someone. As for Fen, he does his best work when he is on his own, I doubt he would suffer in my absence, if anything it is better if he isn't distracted.” I look down at my wrapped feet kicking at the soft snow.

“He didnt believe in miracles, you were gone but now you're here, now he questions everything. ‘Wanting, needing, she was gone but now she is within reach. She is the same but different darker, what happened? I want to help. Sharp mind, soft skin, that hair close enough to touch, oh how I want to touch.’ He would miss you most. He still loves you, but love is so close to hurt.” the spirit ranted.

I shake my head, the tips of my ears burning from words I wasn't meant to hear, the start of a conversation I didn't want to have. “Cole, exactly how long have you been hiding around Haven?” I asked changing the subject as I turned back the way me and Frost came, the spirit in tow.

 

 

 

 

I shivered against the chilly winds of the mountain pass as I looked down the way at the runes of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The once brilliant cluster of buildings was now nothing more then a large pile of rubble with the feel of death hanging heavy in the air that surrounded it, little of the noble building actually remained.

It had taken a little more then half the day to make the trek from Haven to what left of the ruined temple. The bulk of the templars and mages we had gather, had made the trek with us though it had been a challenge to mobilize, such divided forces. The trust between the groups were paper thin, tempers were on the rise and the slightest thing could upset them.

I breathed in the crisp air as I watch the large group march closer to the temple, even at this stage the Inquisitions army was imposing in both size and power. It was unorganized but…

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of snow crunching underfoot behind. I didn't look to see who it was, I could feel their presence, growing strong with every step they took towards me.

“ _The time has come to end this madness. This rift was the first, in closing it we will_ _f_ _ix the_ _breach_ _in the sky._ _Are you sure you will be able to handle this?_ _Being so close to this rift?”_ Solas asked as he came to stand beside me.

He was worried about me, with good reason, but I had grown tired of his of him hovering over me, his always watching, always seeing. I shrug my shoulders and began to make my way to the temple _“I’ll be alright.”_ I answer, my tone clipped, my anxiety lacing my voice. I was nervous and weary of what came after this.

He raised a brow in question, sensing my uneasiness, but said nothing about it, he was getting better at that. Knowing when to prob and when to leave me be, though I knew it bother him not knowing what was going on inside my head.

“ _When this is done, I would have up held my end of the bargain.”_ He didn't say more but I heard the unsaid words, they were louder then the words he actually spoken.

I snort at his cockiness “ _Surly you don’t think this fixes everything? What about Coryph_ _e_ _us? He doesn't seem like the type to just let us do as we please with out retaliating. Plus he still has the orb._ ” He had stopped following, so I turned to see what was the hold up.

He stood a few feet from me his eyes full of question, his mouth pressed thin. “ _You know something, you’r_ _e_ _not telling me._ ” He said, more a statement then a question. I just look back at him blankly the silence between us growing.

“ _Y_ _ou are not done here._ _Something_ _bigger is coming something that threatens all you want for the people. It is the real problem that I wanted you to fix. Coryph_ _e_ _us is coming, soon...very soon_ _my Lord_ _.”_ I looked past him my sight blurring, seeing what he couldn’t, a scene of fire, chaos and the sounds of clashing swords and monstrous screeches echoing in the air. I shudder, shaking the vision from my head even more afraid of what was to come. We had denied the darkspawn Magister both the templars and mages, and that had me worried. What was left for the Magister to raise against us, what horrors were we to fight in his behalf in the coming days?

When my sight had completely returned I turn from him and continue on my way, he followed quietly. He knew I had saw something his silence gave that away, he was accustom to the tell tell signs of one having a vision. In times like this I wish I knew what he was thinking. I wished Cole was here, but the spirit had disappeared shortly before we made it back to the cabin, I hadn't seen him since. Perhaps he was staying hidden until the time he was meant to make his appearance.

We approached the entrance of the fallen temple, though the Inquisition had sent scouts to clear the dead from the site, the charred ground and thick ashen sludge a reminder of the devastation that had happened here. The rift here had distorted the area around it, from the floating rocks to the enormous chunks of red lyrium jutting out of the ground, it’s effect on it’s surroundings evident.

As we picked our way through the debris of what had been we made our way closer to the rift. The red lyrium sung its broken song as we passed a chunk of it, the wrongness of its existence itching in my ears. I stopped beside it eyeing the pulsing stone, feeling the sickening heat radiate of of it.

_“Do you hear that?”_ I asked Solas who was watching me carefully.

_“What do you hear?_ ” He asked cautiously moving closer to the stone. I don’t answer, instead I try to listen harder, the itching in my ears growing more annoying. The melody was soft but inconsistent, and broken, the notes seemed random, the tone almost taunting, calling. I felt my hand reach out to it “I would touch that Blue. Red lyrium is nasty stuff.” the voice of Varric snapped me out of a trance I didn't even notice I had fallen under. I look down at him and slowly nodded as I turned away from the corrupted lyrium, the eerie song lingering in my head.

_“What was that.”_ Solas whispered from behind me, I didn’t look back at him instead I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure of what to say.

The templars and mages has already situated themselves around the rift, the tension between the groups, saturated the already tensed air. I walked pass a group of mages and hopped down from a ledge, to stand closer to the rift.

The green rip in the fade pulsed angrily as green tendrils of the fade flowing in and out of it and up into the breach. I followed the tendrils of the fade up, the chaotic clouds swirled up above us a scar on the sky.

“So how does this work?” Jericho asked from somewhere behind me. I turned to face him just a Solas made his way over to the Herald.

“As I have said before, this is the first of the rifts closing it will close the breach. Point you anchor towards the rift and reach out with its magic. Draw from the mages and templars and will the mark into stitching the veil closed, as you have done before with lesser tears.” Solas looked from Jericho to me then nodded his head and walking past us t o address the gathering of templars and mages.

“Will there be anything waiting on the other side?” Cassandra questioned as she followed beside him, her back straight readied for a battle.

Solas shock his head “No the rift was already temporarily repaired by the Herald’s first attempt, this is a more permanent solution. By amplifying and using the power of both anchors, the anchors power should surge though the rift into the breach effectively closing it.”

Cassandra nodded her head at him, determination set into her features as she called out to the assemblage before her. “Mages, Templars!” The all talking stopped as every focused their attention to the Seeker and hedge mage that stood in front of them.

“Focus past the Herald and Protector! Let their wills draw from you!” Solas instructed his smooth deep voice carrying across the ruins.

Jericho looked over to me flashing a crooked smile and shrugged as he raised his marked hand towards the rift and inched closer to it. I followed behind him, mark raised up and out in front of me, the anchor flashing brightly as I felt for the frayed edges of the veil. As we got closer to the rift my anchor crackled loudly and as if magnetized, my mark let forth a strong stream of magic. I heard the sounds of both staves and swords stabbing into the ground and felt as a wave of abundant power wash over me into the mark, a loud gasp from my side let me know the same was happening for Jericho.

As the magic of Fen’Harel flowed from my marked hand, I watched the veil begin to close. Green tendrils of the fade began to weave it’s self around the inside the tear. The rift started to shudder as more of the anchors magic poured into it. I flared my aura and pushed my own mana into the anchor, when suddenly the rift collapsed onto its self with a blinding flash of light and a loud and forceful explosion.

I was thrown back on to the cold ground by the force, my back screaming with protest from the impact. I rolled onto my knees and felt a hand on my arm trying to help me up. Solas pulled me to my feet and pointedly looked to the where the rift had just been. I followed his eyes and looked over to now vacant space, the sounds of the surrounding templars and mages cries of excitement and celebration ringing loudly in my ears. Their happiness encircled me but I couldn't part take in their joy, I new just how short lived it was to be.


	12. From the Embers of Yesterday Fires Part 1

_I swat at an annoying buzzing in my ear as I pushed deeper into the untamed tropic wilds. The humid air hung heavy and thick with moisture. Sweat dripped down my furrowed brow, I was close to my destination, close to the information I was in need of. I glanced down at the map…_

I take in a deep breath of the cool crisp air around me and sigh in frustration, as I shake the vision from my mind and clear my sight. I closed my eyes again, feeling for my mana, bringing it forth to the surface of my skin.

The night was young and so were the celebrations for closing the breach. I sat up top the snowy cliff over looking the small town of Haven, knowing that soon it would all be under several feet of snow by nights end. The loud joyous music and hearty cheers reached across the frozen lake, but all I could feel was dread.

I ignored the happy sounds of celebrations, and continued my mana exercises. I cleared my mind, steadied my breath and relaxed my body all the while pooling my mana, I was preparing for what was to come. Suddenly another vision took form in my mind and blurred my sight, interrupting my mediation. I jumped to my feet and growled loudly as I let loose a torrent of fire balls out of frustration. _This is_ _pointless_ _, I just can’t keep my mind empty._ I thought as I ran full speed at the nearest tree, my daggers already in hand.

I stabbed out at the trunk of the tree enraged by my seemingly inability, to complete the ancient exercises. I continued my assault on the undeserving tree throwing my emotions in to it, my anger, unrest, nervousness, frustration, fear. I poured my mana into every attack, as I tried to distance myself from theses burdensome feelings.

Negative emotions where one of the main causes for my mana problems and with the coming events I couldn't afford an over flowing mana well. I know what you are thinking. Whats so bad about having too much mana? Sounds like a mages wet dream, huh? Well its not. Every mage is born with a mana well, the older they grow the more mana that well can produce and hold. If a mage overproduces the amount of mana their well can hold, the overflowing well attempts to redirect the excess mana.

In the past my vallaslin kept me from overproducing mana, my transition from another world may have broken the seal. But there was a time when it wasn't there, a time when my parents hid me from The People, for their safety. A younger me would have been catastrophic in this time, with out the seal, I was prone to random burst of power. A strike of lighting here, a trail of fire there, my youth had been full of fear, fear of hurting someone, fear of hurting myself, fear of myself.

_If it hadn't been for what my father did…_ I shake the thought from my head and threw myself deeper into my attacks.

I felt him before I heard him, his sigil flaring into life on my back, stronger the closer he got. I stopped my attacks and went invisible, backing deeper into the trees, blending in with the darkness. I silently watched as he walked up to the tree I had been harassing. He ran a hand along the deep gashes in the bark before walking pass it. I stilled my breath as he moved closer to me, as he passed right in front of me he paused for a second and looked around, before he seemed to give up.

Suddenly he turned to face where I was and threw out a hand, lightly grabbing a strand of my hair, before smiling a knowing smile. I gave a huff and reviled myself, stepping out of the darkness.

_“How do you do that?”_ I asked as I put space between us.

_“I do not need vision to find you in the dark. What is it the Dalish say? May the Dread wolf never catch your scent?”_ He gave a soft chuckle as I crinkled my nose at the saying.

“ _Are you done packing? Have they finished preparing?”_ I ask him as I lean up against a tree, my arms folded across my chest. I had told him a little of what was to come, and he had helped me in preparing for it. He nodded his head and stepped closer to me, his eyes sizing me up.

“ _They turned the trebuchets towards the mountains, though not with out questions. Perhaps you should tell them, advise them of the dangers to come.”_ his advice was sound, but I shake my head.

“ _No need, nothing I do will change the next event, I’ve looked. Its an event that’s the same in every path, and if I w_ _a_ _rn them it only worsens the outcome. The Herald only survives in a few of the s_ _cenarios_ _, non_ _in_ _w_ _h_ _ich I try to alter the outcomes.”_ I had searched for a way to avoid this fight with Corypheus’s army, but there was very little I could do with out changing the flow of events.

Solas nodded his head letting the subject slip away, taking my word in full value. It was something he had always done as did most of the Evanuris.

“ _Failing at the exercises, I see.”_ he stated changing the subject. I felt as if he was teasing me, his tone soft and playful.

I shrugged my shoulders _“Yeah. I don’t know… every since the events of Redcliffe. I feel as if my mana and power has been more challenging to control.”_ I run a hand through my hair in frustration just as my aura fluctuated as if punctuating my concerns.

My eyes flicked to his, and I knew he felt the flare, his eyes boring into me. He moved closer yet again, now standing only a few feet away, watching me, his face unreadable. Suddenly he reached out and placed his open palm flat on my chest, his other hand now on my shoulder pressing me gently but firmly to the tree.

“ _My Lord!? What…”_ I start but stop as I looked down at his hand and watched as blue ethereal tendrils came forth from my chest and snaked up around his wrist and arm. I felt as my mana well began to slowly drain, the feeling not unpleasant.

“ _Could it be that you now posses more power then you had before? Perhaps your body needs more time to grow accustom the larger quantity of power.”_ His voice was low, barely above a whisper. The tendrils of blue turned green as they climbed higher up his arm and disappeared into his chest. _“Your seal was not designed to hold back so much power. Power meant for those hailed as gods.”_

He pulled his hand away breaking the connection _“When it was bestowed upon me, it took decades for me to control it. You do n_ _o_ _t have the luxury of time at the moment, but I have_ _no_ _doubt you will be able to handle it.”_ He finished, his tone not stern or filled with anger like I feared it would be.

“ _How did you…?”_ I looked up at him my mouth moving but not speaking.

“ _I felt it when you passed out, a subtle difference in your physical presence. A familiar feel to your magic.”_ he smiled softly, his eyes gentle on me. I relax a little my eyes still narrowed in suspicion, as I straighten myself from the tree. He was still standing in front of me, close… too close.

“ _Why are you not upset? It is yours, don’t you want it back? With it your power would double, though you wouldn’t be back to your former strengths, you’d be able to unlock the foci.”_ I question, wishing he would move. Though his presence didn’t feel threatening and his body seemed relaxed, I didn’t have to attempt to go around him to know he wouldn’t let me pass.

“ _In the alternate future you and the Herald visited, I assume my alternate self had his reasons. Reasons that I can agree with wholeheartedly. I can not think of anyone more worthy of such a gift. You have never once reached for more power but in the past when it was thrust upon you, you never once abused it. I can not say that about anyone else including myself.”_ his words were touching but he was not done. He closed the small gap between us and looked down at me as he continued.

“ _When this is done, you will fulfill your end of our deal and I will use my foci to right my wrongs by undoing the veil. I will usher in a new age for our people with you by my side I will not falter again. A king is only as strong as his queen, and you are the strongest yet.”_ Hearing him say his plans aloud, including me in them, made me feel guilty.

I knew the outcome of all this would result in his foci shattering to pieces, and though I had searched I had yet to find a favorable future where that did not occur. Perhaps it was too early with too many shifting intervals between now and that moment. I shake my head and smile a small smile.

“ _My Lord, do you fancy yourself a king?”_ I jest, ignoring his nearness and his aura that he was purposely caressing mine with. There was a tangible tingle in the air around us as our two wills came into contact.

He shakes his head with a soft chuckle _“_ _A thought that has never reached my mind. On the other hand, as queen...”_ a smile settled onto his lips as his hands reached for mine, his warm touch soft and gentle.

“ _You could rule any man, if you wanted to. All would fall to knee under your cold gaze, and yet your heart would stay untouched.”_ He recited his hands pulling mine above my head as he stepped forward pushing me up against the tree again.

I didn’t fight him, his words had tickled me. I smiled a coy smile and licked my lips, his eyes catching my every movement. _“Going senile in your old age my Lord? If you repeat yourself, eventually your words will lose meaning, and will no longer_ _get the response you so desperately seek.”_ I whisper the last words, as he pushed his body against mine, his hands pinning mine to the tree. I bit down onto my lip as the hard bark of the tree pressed up against my back.

“ _Yes so desperately, and yet my words still ring true, even in this present.”_ He lowered his lips to mine in a soft lingering kiss. Where I would have normally fought him off, I melted, my lips parting in welcome. He reacted greedily, his tongue darted into my mouth eagerly caressing against mine. His hands released mine, one snaking around my waist pulling me as close as possible, deepening the kiss.

My judgment clouded, I lost myself in the feeling of the familiarity of his nearness and threw my arms around his neck, enjoying the taste of him. He growled softly against my lips, his free hand expertly tugging at the ties of the front of my tunic. My hands moved up his neck to his head, fingers entangling in his hair, hair that was so soft in my hands.

My mind slipped to the past as I grabbed a fist full of his luscious mane, and yanked his head back, the ghost of a familiar savage smile spreading across my face. Heat flared in his eyes, a wolfish smile danced onto his lips as his hands pushed aside my now opened tunic, and laid assault to my harden nipples. He kissed me again, this time more aggressively, his hot lips punishing mine.

“ _My Lord…”_ I whispered in protest against his lips, trying to form a coherent sentence, through the thick fog that now clouded my mind.

“ _Fen’_ _H_ _arel.”_ He countered, his hands setting my flesh aflame as they danced along my hips up to the soft flesh of my breast and back.

“ _Pride_ _.”_ he pulled back and gave a throaty chuckle at my defiance. “We can not do this. Not now.” I cautioned through haggard breath, my heart beating in my ears, my blood heating my cheeks. He lowered his gaze to my exposed breast and dipped his head to my neck, inhaling my scent.

“ _Desire, anxiety, primal need… the aroma saturates the air around you.”_ he says as he kissed a trail of blistering hot kisses down the sensitive skin of my neck. “ _If not now, when?_ ” He asked looking back to my redden face, holding my eyes with his, blue steel to aqua green.

I tear my eyes from his and squirm against the tree under his weight and heavy gaze. His proximity was intoxicating, the heat he radiated seeped through my clothes, teasing my skin. I couldn’t think with him this close, his sigil pulsated to the rhythmic beating of his heart, a deep strong beating.

He watched my expressions as his hands moved to tease a nipple, a look of carnal want dominating his features. He was waiting for a response, his body pressing in on mine, breath inches from my skin, sending a shiver down my spine.

“ _I…”_ I started but was interrupted by the distant sound of bells ringing across the frozen lake. In a instant my mind cleared, pushed into high alert. Snapped back to reality I shove him away and rush over to the cliff edge, eyes searching the far mountain side for the coming army, I knew would be there.

“ _Fenedhis lasa!_ ” I growl as I turn from the scene and began to rush back to Haven. I came to a stop when Solas grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, turning me back to face him. His hands deftly retying the ties to my tunic, his eyes still filled with the heat of want. As he finished with my top he pulled me into a tight embrace his soft lips claiming mine in a desperate kiss that he filled with his unspoken emotions and words. He pulled away, taking my breath with him. “ _When this is over._ ” was all he said, his silent promise loud in the air between us.

 

 

 

Bursting into my cabin, I pushed pass the door, grabbing the light armor I had left on my bed. Solas moved behind me gathering a few books and a satchel he had packed full of the things he would be keeping with him. I shrugged on the armor over my tunic, and pulled my lose hair into a messy bun, before grabbing a bag I had also packed.

Frost paced in front of the open door, visibly anxious and excited. I stepped towards the great wolf and knelt in front of him my fingers reached out. The wolfs pacing stopped as he turned his noble head to me and pushed his forehead to my fingers. _I know you want to fight with me, but you will be more useful helping the others round up the injured. Stay out of direct fights._ _You know where to go._ The wolf gave a disapproving whine before lowering his head. I click my tongue before petting his head and standing, the wolf turned away and ran out the door into the cold night.

“ _Its for the best. If he is present, he will be more of a distraction for you.”_ Solas commented as he came to stand beside me. I nodded my head in reluctant agreement and looked over to the Evanuris.

“ _You need a staff.”_ I say bluntly changing the subject. Solas shrugged his shoulders and threw me a cocky smile.

“ _You know I do not need a staff to fight.”_ He said playfully as he waved his hand and summoned a staff. I watched as the staff solidify before me and sucked my teeth in disapproval.

“ _They don't know that my Lord, and its best if they never find out._ ” I chastised as I turned to the door and rushed down the pathway leading to Havens front gates.

The night was quiet as we made our way down the path, only the loud chimes of the bells broke through the eerily calm silence. As we emerged from the trail the sounds of rushing solders in heavy armor filled the night. And once the gates were within view the noise of a fight were accompanied by a scene of a young man with a large floppy hat being surrounded by a mixture of both templars and mages.

I rushed forwards and fade stepped behind a mage, feeling a barrier being dropped on me as I sunk my ethereal daggers deep into the back of the unsuspecting mage. Out the side of my eye I saw Cole lunge at one of the mages just as a Templar swung a sword wildly at him. I shoved the limp body of the mage off my blades, then turned to a Templar, who was rushing towards me his mouth wide in a war cry.

I danced out of his blades reach and froze as the notes of a broken song reached my ears. _Impossible._ How could this be? I had stopped the envy demon and we had saved the mages from the grasp of the Vinitori, and yet here before me was mages fighting alongside red lyrium corrupted Templars. I stood there and gaped unable to move. Had I made a mistake?

The questions in my mind were interrupted as an assault of ice spikes flew pass me and impaled the threatening Templar. The Templar slumped to the ground at my feet, the song still coming from him. I stare down at the body my mind still fogged by questions, before taking a step back from him, bumping into Solas.

I look over my shoulder to see him looking down at me, his eyes searching. He grabbed me by the arm and turned me to face him. “I…I t-think I made a mistake. How...are there mages and Templars...here?” I shake my head as the question rolled off my tongue. He shook me by the shoulders, snapping me back to the present problems, I shifted my eyes from his to the ground.

He raised a hand to my chin and gently lifted my face back up. _“You are not to blame for anything that is happening. Do not trouble your mind with it.”_ his voice was cold with a biting edge, his touch still soft.

A loud banging on the gates behind me pulled me from his gaze “We can’t come in unless you open.” Cole shouted standing before the gates, his back squared and hands fisted. There was a split second pause then the gates slowly opened and Jericho followed by an alerted Commander Cullen, stepped through the opening. Jericho looked from the boy to me and Solas, his eyebrows raised in question as the spirit rushed forward.

“I’m Cole, you don’t know me but she does.” Cole pointed to me, Cullen looked to me and started to say something but the spirit continued. “I came to warn you, to help. People are coming to hurt you, you probably already know-”

“What is this? Whats going on?” Jericho asked his eyes dancing between the three of us standing in front of him. Where I had expected Cole to answer the spirit fell silent and turned to look at me with expectant eyes. I stare back not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. When the silence grew Jericho stepped over to me and placed a hand on his hip, his patience thinning.

“What is this man going on about? Who is attacking us? Surly you would know?” his voice was gentle but his eyes hard and on high alert. It was clear what he was asking of me, though he had not voiced it directly.

I look down at my feet and pulled forth a vision, instantly my sight blurred and a scene began to play before me. _Its raining and cold, the restless waves of the Waking Sea violently stir the boats at the docks. I spin around trying to see what I am supposed to see when I catch sight of a beggar just barely visible in the darkness of the entrance of a filthy ally. Thin and pale from malnourishment, the mans hand was out stretched his face lowered on to his knees. I watched as the busy people passed by this man, their eyes avoiding him the look of disgust blatant on their features when they did look. I moved closer to the man and could hear his begging words “Lyrium… just a… bit...” His voice was hard and sounded like metal scraping concrete. A figure cloaked in dark hooded robes stopped before this beggar and dropped a small red object into the out stretched hand. “There is more then you could ever want_ if _you come with me, if you bring the others like you.” The voice was unrecognizable and sounded muffled. The beggar raised his head just enough to eye what had been dropped in his hand, then a thin haggard face came into view. A toothy smile sent shivers down my spine as it crawled across the thin crusted lips of a very gaunt and filthy Raleigh Samson._

The vision shifts and the scene changed to one of an unknown location. _The room was large but well lit by a multitude of candles that lined the walls. A grand fireplace roared with welcoming warmth, its fire’s movements casting haunting shadows along the walls and ceiling. A large figure paced back and forth before the fire place as two lone witnesses watched from a slight distance. “They have taken the Templar and the mages from me. Foiling my plains at every turn, always a step ahead.” the loud booming of Corypheus’s deep voice filled the room, echoing off the tall walls. I move forward to get a closer look at him and the ones he was conversing with. “They have the circle mages. They do not have the wondering apostates, or the slaves from Tevinter. We still have an army of Templar outcasts. Our numbers are still greater the this Inquisitions.” A high female voice rang through the room and as I got closer, the pale face of Calpernia came into view claiming the voice. “I wouldn't call us outcast, more along the lines of visionaries. The Chantry threw us to the side because we saw what could be done if we were not held by their leashes.” I looked over to the now healthy looking face of Samson and cringed at the red lyrium armor he now proudly wore. “It is time we take this thorn out of my side, we will attack this Inquisition with the forces we still have-”_

I was abruptly pulled from the vision by someone shaking my shoulders. My vision cleared to Jericho staring into my face his eyes wide and fearful. “Are you OK? What was that?” he asked his voice high with concern and fear. I shake my head free of the fog that tend to accompany my vision as Solas stepped to the Harold his eyes, eyeing Jericho's hands that were still on my shoulders.

“As I have repeatedly said Herald, Isanami was having a vision. Now would you please remove your hands from her.” His words had a notable bite in them, and it wasn't missed by Jericho who looked from Solas to me, before releasing my shoulders and stepping back with a sheepish grin on his lips. He nervously raised a hand to the back of his neck and looked at me.

I look away from his hopeful gaze as I spoke “Its the Elder One, he is here with an army of slave mages from tevintor, apostates, and outcast templars with Samson leading them.” As I finished I heard a loud intake of air from Cullen.

“Mages and Templars fighting together? Attacking blindly?” The Templar questioned as he stepped closer to me. Solas stiffened beside me.

“The Elder One had plans for the Red Templars and Circle mages.” Cole interrupted, “You know him, he knows you. You took his armies.” Cole then turned to the mountains and pointed “There.”

We all turned our attentions to the mountain and witnessed a black cloud of smoke revealed the tall corrupted Magister and both Samson and Calpernia who stood on either side of him.

“He’s very angry you took his armies.” Cole finished his eyes still on the mountain side.

“Cullen give me a plain! Anything!” Jericho shouted as he turned to the commander.

Cullen raised his hand to the bridge of his nose, stress evident on his face. “Haven is no fortress. If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle. Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can!” Cullen stepped away from us as he drew his sword and turned to address the solders that now stood in attention around us. “Soldiers! Gather the villager! Fortify and watch for advance forces!” He instructed his voice loud and full of command. He raised his sword to the sky “Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!” Cheers erupted around us as the solders joined him in the rallying cry.

As the solders dispersed to carry out their orders, Jericho turned to the inner circle, that had gathered by us some time during my visions. “You two with me.” the herald pointed to me and Solas before continuing “Iron Bull and Dorian. The rest of you help the villagers, keep them safe.” Jericho turned from the group and began to head down the path towards the now uproarious sounds of fighting.

“Herald I would like to fight also. Do not make me stand on the sidelines of this.” Cassandra pleaded, stepping forward, her hand on the butt of her sword, her face a mixture of ferocious determination and readiness.

Jericho paused and looked to her before wordlessly nodding his head and continuing to make his way down the trail.

 

 

 

“Move! Keep going! The Chantry is your shelter!” Grand Chancellor Roderick shouted as he waved at us from the entrance of the Chantry. Jericho turned towards the man and rushed into the safety the building offered, the rest of us trailing in behind him.

The fighting had been hard and rigorous, between the combined onslaught of the mages and templars and the appearance of Corypheus’s corrupt dragon, we were barely holding up.We had attempted to keep the attacks at bay with by invoking an avalanche down the side of the mountain, but the dragon cleared the path, forcing us to retreat into the gates of Haven.

I rushed through Chantry doors only to come to a stop as the Chancellor collapsed. I caught onto the dying human and helped him steady himself onto his feet as Cole came and wrapped his arm around the man, supporting his weight.

“He tried to stop a Templar. The blade went deep. He’s going to die.”Cole explained as he lead the Chancellor to a more comfortable spot.

“What a charming boy.” Roderick commented between heavy breaths as he passed by. My eyes followed the man as Cullen hurried towards me and the Herald.”

“Herald, Protector! Our position is not good.” The man stood before us his eyes troubled as he spoke words I knew he would speak. “That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us!”

“I’ve seen an Archdemon. I was in the fade, but it looked like that.” Cole said from beside the Chancellor.

We all looked over to him, Cullen shaking his head. “I don't care what it looks like. It has cut a path for that army. They’ll kill everyone in Haven!” The ex Templar declared as he waved a hand in frustration.

“The Elder One doesn’t care about the Village. He only wants the Herald and Protector.” Cole stated looking to both me and Jericho.

Jericho was silent for a second before he sucked on his teeth out of agitation “If you know why he wants us, just say it.”I silently observed the scene before me knowing the words that were to be said, thinking to myself what could be done. Nothing, and I knew that.

“I don’t. He’s too loud. It hurts to hear him.” Cole looked down at the ground then back to me. I understood what he meant. “He wants to kill you and capture her.” he continued looking back to the Herald. “No one else matters, but he’ll crush them, kill them anyways. I don’t like him.”

Cullen threw his hands up, his patients visibly thinning. “You don’t like...” he shakes his head and looked away from the spirit and turned back to me and Jericho. “Herald, there are no tactics to make this survivable.” The commander had a look of defeat on his handsome features as he spoke. “The only thing that slowed them down was the avalanche. The remaining trebuchets were turned to the mountains...” his eyes froze on me as it clicked for him. “You knew this was how it was going to end? That we were going to need to cause one last slide?” he said the last part more to his self then to us.

I slowly nod my head. “I knew that we would not have many options so I did what was needed, and prepared for the inevitable.” I say defensively.

The commanders face went read as his mouth opened to say something, but Jericho spoke up first. “We’re overrun. To hit the enemy, we’d bury Haven.” He looked over to me then back to Cullen.

Cullen’s eyes stayed on me as he addressed Jericho’s concerns. “We’re dying, but we can decide how. Many don't get that choice.” There was a strangling cough to the side of us before Cole spoke up.

“Yes, that. Chancellor Roderick can help. He wants to say it before he dies.” We all turn our attention to the pale face Chancellor.

“There… is a path. You wouldn't know it unless you’d made the summer pilgrimage. As I have.” The man attempted to sit up in his chair only to give way to a fit of coughs before he continued. “The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could… tell you.” He finally made it to his feet as he finished.

Jericho nodded his head slowly as he glanced over to the commander. “What a bout it Cullen? Will it work?”

The commander nodded his head also, his face no longer dejected “Possibly. If he shows us the path. But what of your escape?” he asked his tone full of concern. Jericho looked away from Cullen to me, but I stayed silent. The silence between us was loud with unspoken words and uncertainty.

Cullen's face fell with realization as he spoke braking the quiet. “Perhaps you will surprise it, find away...” He trailed off and turned to a pair of solders standing in attention near by. “Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! Move!” He commanded. Cole stood from where he sat and put the Chancellors arm around his shoulder.

Roderick looked to Jericho. “Herald… If you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is for this, I pray for you.” Jericho nodded to the man as he began to walk away with the help of Cole. I watched as the man and spirit made their way down the Chantry’s grand hall.

Soldiers rushed around us as Cullen approached us. “They’ll load the trebuchets.” He informed us as he waved a hand at the men. “Keep the Elder One’s attention until we’re above the tree line.” Jericho soundlessly nodded his head and turned to the door.

“If we are to have a chance if you are to have a chanceLet that thing hear you.” Was the last thing the Commander said as we walked out of the Chantry back into the fray.

“We need to be noticed? Happens to be a specialty of mine.” Dorian joked as he followed close behind the Herald, his voice tight despite his attempt to make light of the situation.

“We only need to hold them off long enough for the solders to load the trebuchet.” I say as I moved forward to meet and oncoming group of assailants.

We fought our way down the path, one by one the army of mages and templars fell to our feet, their attacks only strengthening our resolve and determination. We pushed through the seemingly never ending attacks, and when we made it to the trebuchet there stood a group of mages and templars posed to stop us.

I ran my eye across the offending group as my ears picked up the broken notes of the song of red lyrium. I took that moment to look harder, and that's when I saw it. Though I knew that the small amount of templars under Corypheus command had been supplied red lyrium, I had not thought that it was the same for the mages. Yet before me stood mages outfitted with staves made from the corrupt material and robes adorned with small red pulsing gems that had faint notes of painful music wafting from them.

I breath in a deep breath as I dashed forward closing my mind to the troubling thoughts that bubbled in my head. Cassandra shouted out a war cry from beside me as she rushed forward and bashed theTemplar nearest to her with her shield.

As I danced in and out of view nicking vitals I could hear ice and fire flying past me, the excitement of battle caused my blood to dance and awoken my rage. I had been here before, in the heat of battle time and time again. Though when all was said in done, I questioned my actions, fighting was the only time I was at my most comfortable letting what I had inside me loose.

I Threw myself into a spinning blades attack as I heard Solas yell out a warning from somewhere behind me. “ _Isanami! To you left!_ ”

I dodge to the right as a barrier fell over me, I twist just out of rang of a wall of ice was erected right were I had been. I let out a laugh of delight from the feeling of being in my element as I fade stepped around the battle. The rage in me came to life fueling my attacks, heating my body against the enemy's onslaught.

Soon the ground was littered with the dead, and only we were left standing before the trebuchet. A soldier ran towards Jericho who was now doubled over trying to catch his breath.

“Sir the trebuchet has been loaded.” the soldier reported nervously as his eyes kept jumping to the path that lead back to the Chantry. Jericho nodded his head and waved his hand to the same path. “Good now go, get out of here.” The soldier nodded and gave a hasty bow before running towards the path.

I watched as Jericho knocked back a health potion and then made his way to the trebuchet. Someone dangled a potion in my face. I shake my head as I look into the steel blue of Solas’s eyes.

“You are hurt, you should drink it.” he said as he ran a long finger along a gash I had not noticed on my arm. I look down at the wound and smiled at the pain I was now feeling from it before I took the potion from him.

“You know it will heal without this.” I say looking down at the glowing green liquid sloshing around in the flask.

“They don't know that Isanami, and its best if they never find out.” He said throwing my own words at me, his lips stretching into a cocky smile. I shake my head at him as I throw back my head, swallowing the thick potion in one go.

Suddenly the sounds of heavy leathery wings beating against the wind became loud around us. We all looked up at the fade torn sky as the ugly black corrupt dragon circled towards us. I dropped the flask, Jericho stepped back from the trebuchet, and Solas grabbed hold of my arm.

“Move! Now!” Jericho yelled as he turned and ran just as the Dragon let loose a spew of hot red corruption where he had just been standing.

Solas dragged me away towards the path to the Chantry, out of the view of the dragon. _“Wait! We cant just leave him!”_ I say as I pulled myself from his grasp.

Solas looked to me in disbelief. _“You can not go back. He knew what would happen.”_ his words had a sense of urgency to them.

_“How can you say that, when you are the reason he has to make this decision?_  " I yelled, my face feeling red with anger. “ _He has a better chance if I go back._ ” I say turning back away from him. I felt his hand grab onto mine as he turned me to face him.

_“I’ll go with you then.”_ he said but I shake my head, his face falling at my decision.

“ _I can not let you do that my Lord. Too many variables. I will not be able to protect you if the need arise. Go! Get to safety!”_ I say looking up to him. His face is pale his mouth opened in protest, but I silence his words as I lean up to him and placed a soft kiss onto his warm lips. His reaction was instant, his lips moving with mine welcoming me. His arms pulling me flush to his chest, his warmth embracing me. The kiss could have gone on forever but I pulled back and gave him a small smile.

“ _Don't worry about me, I will see you soon._ ” I say as I step away from him. He flashed me the same smile _“You better.”_ he said as he turned and headed to the Chantry.

I fade stepped my way back to where we left the Herald only to find that the corrupt dragon stood in my way. I cloak my self and become invisible as I moved silently around the enormous beast. I inched closer towards where Corypheus stood holding the Herald up in the air by an arm. Being so close to the blighted dragon itched my ears and brain. The song was loud and intrusive, invading my thoughts causing me so much discomfort. I grip my head between my hands, and gritted my teeth as I made it around the dragon with out notice.

“Beg that I succeed, for I have see the throne of the gods, and it was empty!” Corypheus said as he turned and tossed the Herald at the trebuchet.

I fade stepped to the trebuchet and caught the Herald with my body. Corypheus eyes went wide as I appeared and stepped forward his mouth hanging wide. I help the herald to his feet as I looked past the hideous Magister, eyes catching the lone flaming arrow that flew up into the sky.

I look back to the Magister and grinned “The anchor belongs to my people, and you are not worthy of wielding it in its full. I will make sure you never get you greedy hands on it. So say good bye.” The Magister moved forward his clawed hand out reached his mouth opened to speak but he was to slow.

I snaked my hand around Jericho's wrist pulling him to me as I kicked out at the lever of the trebuchet. Corypheus turned to watch as the bolder collided with the mountain side causing an avalanche. I pulled Jericho away with me as I ran towards the hole I knew would save us.

 

**Author's Note:**

> How do you like it so far? let me know pls.


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